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The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade [Paperback]

Ann Fessler
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (161 customer reviews)

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Book Description

June 26, 2007
In this deeply moving and myth-shattering work, Ann Fessler brings out into the open for the first time the astonishing untold history of the million and a half women who surrendered children for adoption due to enormous family and social pressure in the decades before Roe v. Wade. An adoptee who was herself surrendered during those years and recently made contact with her mother, Ann Fessler brilliantly brings to life the voices of more than a hundred women, as well as the spirit of those times, allowing the women to tell their stories in gripping and intimate detail.


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The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade + The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child + Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Journalism of the first order, moving and informative in equal measure. (San Francisco Chronicle)

A remarkably well-researched and accomplished book. (The New York Times Book Review)

A wrenching, riveting book. (Chicago Tribune)

Haunting. (People)

About the Author

Ann Fessler is professor of photography at Rhode Island School of Design and a specialist in video-installation art. She won a prestigious Radcliffe Fellowship at the Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study, Harvard University, for 2004, to complete her extensive research for this book. She is also the recipient of grants from the National Endowment for the Arts; the LEF Foundation, Boston; the Rhode Island Foundation; the Rhode Island Council for the Humanities; Art Matters, New York; and the Maryland State Arts Council. An adoptee herself, she begins and ends the book with the story of her own successful quest to find her birth mother.


Product Details

  • Paperback: 368 pages
  • Publisher: Penguin Books; Reprint edition (June 26, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0143038974
  • ISBN-13: 978-0143038979
  • Product Dimensions: 5.6 x 0.8 x 8.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (161 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #18,176 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

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Customer Reviews

And if Roe v. Wade gave these woman the right to choose, one of those choices was life. Ohio Adoptee  |  29 reviewers made a similar statement
Being one of "The Girls Who Went Away", I really did not know what to expect when I started reading this book. Donna Farar-Russell  |  33 reviewers made a similar statement
This book is a must read for anyone that has been touched by adoption! H. Gruenewald  |  26 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
47 of 47 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars History of Adoption Issues October 2, 2007
Format:Paperback
This book was recommended to me by one of the subjects within. As I am an adoptee who was surrendered in the mid 1960's I found the books revelations both informative and unsettling. I had never put the picture in my head of how socially motivated and financially interested some of the adoption agencies of the time were nor the gamut of emotions felt by these birthmothers. This is well researched from a historical standpoint as well as a facinating read delving into the very human feelings shared by those in the triad of adoption. Feelings, I might add, that are not well understood by those outside of this subculture. I have recommended this book to several counselor friends of mine and would do the same for anyone who may find themselves across the couch from persons involved in the adoption process. Mrs. Fessler's book flows very smoothly and is quite an easy read. The books stories are filled with the heart wrenching fear, dissapointment, guilt, anguish and uncertainty felt by many birthmothers but the ultimate message is one of underlying love, resolution and final completion. My final thoughts were of hope. Hope for governmental reform in its policies, hope for institutional reform in their practices and proceedures and hope for adoptee and birth parent alike in the illimination of uncertainties and for final completeness.
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54 of 57 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
The subtitle says it all: this is the hidden history of women who surrendered children for adoption in the decades before Roe vs. Wade. Author Ann Fessler balances her chapters with first-person narratives from both the women who gave up children and from adopted children. Fessler's book explores the shame of getting pregnant in the post-WW II era, the lack of birth control education, the lack of medical birth control for unmarried women, and the hurry of "good" families to bury the mortifying secret product of premarital sex. At its core, the book is about psychological pain, for both mother and child. This pain and confusion lasts for a lifetime.

I grew up with sex education, had access to reproductive planning clinics, and went to a high school that had a day care center on site. Modern women take our choices for granted--the choice to use birth control, the choice to keep a child as an unmarried mother, the choice to have an open, structured adoption, the choice to have a closed adoption, and the choice for safe, legal abortion. This was an eye-opening examination of choices (or lack thereof) over the last fifty years.

Fessler has no agenda other than educating the reader about the hidden histories of these shamed, embarrassed unwed mothers. Chapters focus on specific issues such as birth control education, the social stigma of unmarried pregnancy, double standards for men and women, houses that women were shipped off to, the adoption agencies and processes, and the aftermath of adoption. She uses personal narratives to flesh out her history book, but Fessler does not edit the histories to make any specific political point. Her subjects had widely varying experiences and reactions, all of which are captured herein.
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39 of 41 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Heartbreaking and fascinating July 1, 2007
Format:Paperback
If you're interested in social history, "The Girls Who Went Away" makes for a fascinating read. Ann Fessler interviewed dozens of women who were sent to homes for "unwed mothers" between the 1945 and 1973. The tales the women tale are harrowing and extremely human. Interspersed with the interviews are Fessler's essays about society at the time, and how the post-war situation affected the average family. The book overturned several assumptions I had always made about life in that time period, e.g., that not many teens were sexually active. The shame of sexuality at the time, and the ridiculous lack of information teenagers were given about their own bodies, created a climate in which thousands of girls became pregnant and were forced to hide out from the world, until they could give birth, relinquish the baby, and return to "normal" teen life. Unfortunately, the reality wasn't so simple. The devastating emotional impact of bringing a pregnancy to term, and then having to give up the child, often without so much as seeing it, haunted these women for the rest of their days. The intense secrecy that surrounded the issue only made things worse. It's impossible to read the book without feeling sympathy for these young women, who were given so little control over their own lives. Although the book doesn't answer every question about adoption, or about how to deal with the problem of teen pregnancy, it's a valuable work that makes a big contribution to our understanding of motherhood. Hopefully psychologists, educators and legislators will learn some lessons from it.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars A great book
This book helped me remember what the times were like for unmarried pregnant women during this time. Read more
Published 1 day ago by Andy's grandma
5.0 out of 5 stars Pro-Choice Is Not Anti-Life!
I'm fascinated with adoptees and adoption and I know several adoptees of this era. It was wonderful and deeply necessary for me to hear the story from the birthmothers' point of... Read more
Published 18 days ago by dragon711
5.0 out of 5 stars very interesting reading
Makes you understand the horrible experience these women (girls) went through and what is still happening to them. Peop;e who read this would enjoy this book
Published 21 days ago by Jean Burns
5.0 out of 5 stars Good book
Based on the lives of Birth Moms who were basically forced to give up their out of wedlock offspring to adoption.
Compelling book
Published 22 days ago by B. Fenner
5.0 out of 5 stars Historical Silence Crippling
One of the myths that Fessler sets straight in her book is "that any baby surrendered for adoption was willingly and perhaps even eagerly given up by the mother. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Judy Liautaud
5.0 out of 5 stars Tragic stories
This book is not only comprehensive about the young women who were forced to give up their babies in the 50's and 60's. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Marsha A. Nathan
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Interesting
I have a cousin that recently found her birth mother. I found this book very interesting and I also had some friends that "went away".
Published 1 month ago by Shirley Muelken
4.0 out of 5 stars Worth reading for the insight into social differences just afew...
This is nonfiction reading which every adopted person should read and for anyone (like me) who lived through the 1960s & 70s and may have thought situations were simpler around... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Jan Best
5.0 out of 5 stars So good
Didn't know what to expect when this book was suggested to me, but it has been really good so far.
Published 2 months ago by Athena
5.0 out of 5 stars Very enlightening book. A real eye-opener for everyone.
This is a must read for everyone, including adoptees to help understand what their birth/original mothers went through in surrendering (not giving up) their child. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Marian D. Rogers
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