I decided to read the ARC of The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex to see if it would be a good reference for when my husband, an Episcopal Priest, and I to use for part of our premarital counseling. Most of the book, I would say, is very useful. The section describing what sex is in detail for women or men who were virgins when they were marrying was really good. It answered a lot of questions that one might have, in a spiritual way, as well as a physical way. I enjoyed reading about how men feel about sex and how women feel about sex, without the whole guilt trip that we (women) must just do it no matter what, that sex is not important to us at all.
There was a definite emphasis on the importance of sex in a marriage- this is the biggest part- sex is to be between a married man and woman- no exceptions. If you have had premarital sex, it is not the end of the world, but if you are not married, you should stop until after you are married, even if it is only a few months away.
There was also a definite emphasis on sex being between you two- no porn. The author states that neither of you should be imagining other people while having sex with each other, that will hurt a marriage in the long run. She also states that masturbation and the use of sex toys will hurt a marriage, with, I think, one exception talked about in the book. The author talks about how much porn can hurt a marriage and that there are many men and women who use porn, often without the spouse's knowledge. There was an entire chapter on it, and it was a frequent topic throughout the entire second half of the book, coming up at random point from where it was first mentioned through the very last chapter.
The only part of the book that weirded both my husband and I out a bit, was the section entitled A Pure, Holy, and Hot Marriage. It talked about bringing God into your marriage bed. Now don't get me wrong, we have a very loving God filled marriage, but the thought of praying before we have sex, like not bedtimes prayers and then you kinda have sex- no, intentional prayers to God before you have sex, or reading scripture before or after sex to bring God into your marriage bed. I asked my husband how he felt about that and he thought it was a bit weird too. Now some of this had to do with healing as a couple from different things, like abuse, or porn addiction, and asking God to help you both regain, or gain a healthy sex life. That part I understand, but for couples that don't have those problems, it did seem kind of strange.
Overall, I would use this book as a reference for couples getting married, to read BEFORE they get married, it will make you think, but will also help you, whether you are a virgin, or not. There are parts in here to help those that might feel guilt over not being virginal on their marriage night, and how to work through that. This book is conservative, it does not promote same sex relations- period! This book does not promote sex before marriage; it actually gives positive research data to emphasize staying a virgin until you are married. It is also a good read for those of us married for some time on how to keep your sexual life spicy and fun, in a clean, non perverted way. It also has what the author calls "A Good Girl Speaks," where different women interviewed give a bit of advice or life experience and how long they are married. My favorite sections were the "Good Girl Dares," where the author gives some little dares for women to give themselves to spice up their sex life with their husband. Some were better than others, none are super dirty either. The section on why sex should be saved until you are married is a section I would allow my daughter to read, it might give her more of a shove in the right direction than my husband or I telling her that she shouldn't, for a variety of reasons.
This was a good book with some pretty great advice. I did not get paid to write this review, I do so in order for you to have a better idea about what this book is like, from a readers standpoint and in this case, a Priest's Wife's standpoint.
Please read more of my reviews on my blog: sarahereads(dot)wordpress(dot)com
