The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts [Paperback]

Judith S. Wallerstein (Author), Sandra Blkeslee (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 1996

What's Your Marriage? * The Romantic Marriage: exciting, sensual memories of your first meeting radiate a glow over years. * The Rescue Marriage: the healing that follows early emotional trauma becomes the central theme. * The Companionate Marriage: commitment to careers seeks a balance with commitment to relationship and children. * The Traditional Marriage: the woman takes charge of home and family while the man is the primary wage earner. Hundreds of books have been written about marriages that don't work. But what about the ones that do? Now Judith S. Wallerstein, bestselling author and leading relationships expert, reveals the natural stages of marriage and the nine tasks you must undertake to make a good marriage. As she introduces us to a number of ordinary yet fascinating couples, the intimate interiors of their lives, and the countless pressures they face in an age of divorce, you'll see how happy, lasting marriages are challenged and rebuilt every day-and how, whatever your marriage type, you and your partner can share a joyful, exhilarating, and fulfilling lifetime together.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Inspired by the hope that the experience of satisfied husbands and wives might provide useful lessons to others, Wallerstein, a clinical psychologist and specialist on divorce, and Sandra Blakeslee, who writes frequently for The New York Times, interviewed 50 predominantly middle-class, northern California couples who had been married nine years or more and had at least one child. These strong marriages flourish, they argue, because every partner confronted a series of psychological tasks including separating emotionally from the family of childhood, carving out his or her autonomy and creating an environment where anger and conflict could be safely vented. The couples reveal their interior lives in rich, explicit detail. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

Based on interviews with 50 happily married couples, this book examines the factors that allow relationships to succeed.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 368 pages
• Publisher: Grand Central Publishing; Reprint edition (October 1, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0446672483
• ISBN-13: 978-0446672481
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 1 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #44,245 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

33 of 33 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful October 30, 2000

By Kelley Hunt

Format:Paperback

I think the best thing I got out of this book was the notion that happy marriages are not the exclusive domain of people who had happy, carefree childhoods. Wallerstein's message that the love two people experience in a marriage can be a healing, transforming love was a very hopeful message for those who come from broken and/or abusive homes. I also thought the characteristics of a happy marriage were nicely elucidated by the stories of the real-life couples, their good times, trials and tribulations.

26 of 27 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars A readable study of what makes a marriage "good". January 30, 1997

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

The authors of "The Good Marriage" have broken new ground.
Instead of offering criteria on how to identify a bad
marriage, Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee have
discovered through their pilot study the secrets of a good
marriage.

In this very well written book, the authors conclude there
are four types of marriages and nine tasks that must be
completed in order to have a good marriage. The reader is
allowed inside the couple's marriages as the authors
interview Matt and Sara, Helen and Keith, Fred and Marie
and others.

I began reading this book with much skeptiscm. I was
convinced these couples were deluding themselves - no
marriage can be truly good for any extended period of time.
But I was wrong, although each couple admitted bad times
in their marriages there remained enough romance to carry
them through.

I recommend this book to any adult who really wants to know
how a successful marriage can be a dream-come-true.

30 of 33 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A valuable guide January 31, 2002

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

When we came upon this book, both my husband and I were in the middle of painful, long, stretched-out divorces. We made the decision to read the book together, yet independently. It was one of the best decisions we ever made. The insights gained from these pages literally pulled us through some very trying times. We both absolutely loved it! Judith Wallerstein is a wise, compassionate woman. After reading the book, both my husband and I understood (too late, unfortunately) why our first marriages hadn't worked out. Neither one of our marriages had the romantic component.
We've been together now for 6 years, and ours is definitely the "romance" marriage. What a difference! This is our second marriage for both of us, but we are determined to succeed this time. So far, excellent! We highly recommend this book to anyone considering marriage. It is important for any young couple to become aware of the consequences of not properly separating from their family of origin. A couple needs to form a new family unit without undue interference from parents.
We feel that what the book shows best is that the success of a couple's relationship has more to do with how strong a "we" they form than any other factor. Neither my husband nor I had a strong "we" in our first marriage. We also both had lousy sex lives. It was reassuring to realize that other happy couples felt that sex within a loving marital relationship is the best sex there is. We agree.