The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity [Paperback]

Meg Meeker (Author)

Book Description

Release date: September 6, 2011

Mothers are expected to do it all: raise superstar kids, look great, make good salaries, keep an immaculate house, be the perfect wife. In this rallying cry for change, Meg Meeker, M.D., uses her twenty-five years’ experience as a practicing pediatrician and counselor to show why mothers suffer from the rising pressure to excel and the toll it takes on their emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual health. Complete with an all-new tool kit of wellness tips and exercises, Dr. Meeker’s book reveals the 10 most positive and impactful habits of healthy, happy mothers, including
 
• making friends with those who know the meaning of friendship
• finding out what money can buy (and what it cannot)
• lightening the overload—and doing less more often
• discovering faith and learning how to trust it
• taking some alone time and reviving yourself
 
By implementing Dr. Meeker’s key strategies, you can be happy, hopeful, and can teach your children to be the best they can be—and isn’t that the most precious reward of motherhood?

Now with wellness tips and exercises!

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

A Q&A with Dr. Meg Meeker, Author of The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Q: Your book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters received very positive critical acclaim and was a national bestseller. Why did you decide to shift your focus to mothers?
A: I decided to write on mothers for two reasons. First, after I saw the overwhelmingly positive response to the encouragement I gave fathers in Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, I realized that there is a huge paucity of encouragement out there not just for fathers, but for mothers too. Second, over the past 25 years, I have witnessed a shift in the level of stress that all mothers feel. I believe (and research supports this) that mothers are more stressed today than they have ever been. I wanted to drill down and find the sources of the stress and offer solutions to mothers in a positive, encouraging way. I also learned one extremely important lesson very early on as a pediatrician: if I really want to keep kids emotionally and physically happy, the best thing I can do for them is help their mothers. Once she's happy, I didn't need to worry about the kids.)

Q: This new book discusses ten essential habits that mothers should abide by to reclaim the passion, purpose and sanity in their lives. How did you come up with these specific habits--were any of them based on your own personal experience as a mother?
A: I comprised a list of "habits" for mothers after I identified the key stressors in mothers' lives. For instance, I found that money, feeling overwhelmed with complicated schedules, and fear that they weren't parenting well enough were some key stressors. These habits counter those key stresses. Since there isn't much research available on mothers' attitudes toward fear or competitiveness, for instance, much of my advice comes from years of listening intently to the mothers I see in my practice.

Q: Why is solitude so important to mothers these days.
A: Solitude is extremely important for several reasons. First, as mothers, we are continually bombarded with another person's needs and demands. In order to stay sane, we need a reprieve from these. Also, we need solitude so that we can spend reflective time on deeper, important issues such as: what do we want from our lives, what is our purpose and what do we really want for our kids? Finally, solitude teaches us to learn to enjoy our own company. This cannot be understated because every mother needs to learn to like herself and like being with herself. Only solitude affords this.

Q: Whether you are a single mother or in a happy relationship, you assert that it is so important for women to form friendships with other women. Why?
A: Mothers need other women friends because one of our primary needs is to be in deep relationship with a few close people. Our kids cannot serve this need and our husbands can only do so to a certain extent. We mothers need women friends because women think like we do, they stick with us when others leave us and they love us in ways that many husbands, family members or children can't.

Q: There are a lot of advice books for parents on the market. What makes your approach to parenting and motherhood different?
A: My approach to parenting has always been to start where you are and move forward. Many parents ruminate on their mistakes and this prohibits them from becoming better parents and from enjoying parenting more. Mothers, in particular, beat themselves up so much for past mistakes and I always encourage mothers to look forward, not back. This book, is the only book I have ever seen that is written for mothers, not to be better parents, but to learn how to enjoy parenting once again. And I know that any mother can enjoy her role as a mother more!

--This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Publishers Weekly

Arguing that many moms have gone overboard in their quest for perfection, the Michigan-based pediatrician and mother of four presents 10 "new habits" that will help moms maintain their passion, purpose, and sanity. In separate chapters, Meeker addresses understanding your value as a mother, maintaining key friendships, valuing and practicing faith, saying no to competition, creating a healthier relationship with money, making time for solitude, giving and getting love in healthy ways, finding ways to live simply, letting go of fear, and embracing hope. Meeker urges mothers to dig deep to find their life's purpose, rejecting cute but superficial one-liners such as "I'm here to drive my kids around." Though she claims to be "a scientist at heart," Meeker, a Christian, waxes philosophical on many issues, including the importance of faith and spirituality. She also urges moms to seek solitude and live more simply while rejecting such "toxic" cultural messages as being thinner, looking hot, and making more money. Readers in search of tips on how to help their kids excel won't find them here; this is a sincere and thoughtful discussion of what really matters in a mother's life. (Mar.)
(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books; 1 edition (September 6, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0345518071
• ISBN-13: 978-0345518071
• Product Dimensions: 5.1 x 0.6 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #29,807 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

52 of 52 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A much-needed book for moms April 7, 2011

By bluekitten

Format:Hardcover

I stumbled upon this book when browsing a bookstore during my lunch break. On that particular day, I was feeling really down on myself. Was I being the best mom I could be? Did my friends and family hate me because I wasn't as available as I used to be now that I had a young child? And geez, when will I EVER lose the baby weight? I nearly cried reading just the first chapter, in which Meeker describes the value of a mother, and why it has nothing to do with her employment status, weight and looks, housekeeping abilities, etc. I simply had to buy this book. Finally, a book about motherhood from an author who GETS IT. I love my son deeply and am so happy to be a mother, but just 16 months into this gig, I felt myself drowning in unrealistic expectations -- from myself and from parenting culture in general. I was constantly beating myself up for not being perfect, and those feelings were starting to crowd out the generally positive feelings I have about parenthood. Meeker does a great job of building women up and encouraging them to understand their value. She coaches mothers to pay attention to nurturing themselves and surrounding themselves with people and activities that make them more resilient to handling the challenges of parenting and give them the energy needed to raise children. I suppose deep in my gut, I knew these things were true, but it felt good to hear it from someone else. Taking time to reflect on the author's words and the questions she asked was much better than the therapy I'd been tempted to seek.

26 of 27 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Surprisingly Fresh and Spiritually Deep Approach to Happiness April 13, 2011

By David Crumm TOP 1000 REVIEWER

Format:Hardcover

Dr. Meg Meeker will surprise you. I write this as a journalist who has read both of her books: this new volume for women and her earlier Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know. If you've seen Dr. Meeker in one of her brief TV appearances or you automatically associate her books with the work of other self-help gurus out there, you may not anticipate the breadth of what she offers readers. And you may not expect the depth of her advice.

Most self-help books tick off a list that begins with popular desires like weight loss, controlling the family budget, reducing stress at work--all tied up in a neat bundle of tips to help you do more with less. If that's what you're seeking, then you don't want Dr. Meeker's books.

She starts with substance. Dr. Meeker is a woman of deep faith, although she writes for a general audience and her books welcome readers of many spiritual backgrounds. She understands that happiness stems from deep spiritual satisfaction and the truly urgent spiritual questions in our lives are not about doctrine. They're about why we should climb out of bed in the morning, how we can make it through another stressful day and what truly matters in our lives at the end of each day.

That's why she began her first book with a chapter on the basic value of men and fathers: the "what-truly-matters" message. Now, she begins this new book with an entire chapter on the value of women and mothers. Why? Because, if we appreciate our value as human beings, she writes, "We would wake up every morning excited for the day rather than feeling as though we'd been hit by a truck during the night." This is a wise woman. Yes, she's a physician and specializes in health-care issues among children, adolescents and their parents as well. But she's writing about far more than physical health here.

She finds that the core issues in a truly happy life aren't the goals that most self-help gurus preach. In the new book on Moms (and on the lives of women in general) you'll especially appreciate the no-nonsense chapter on the dangers of isolation and loneliness. Relationships are vital to a healthy life, and not the typical Hollywood stereotypes of relationships, but strong, pragmatic, honest friendships. She argues that women's friendships differ from men's friendships and I think she's right. In fact, I urge both men and women to read both of her books and talk about the issues she raises in each one. That would be a truly healthy discussion!

No, Meg Meeker won't help you lose 10 pounds in 10 days or make you rich in 30 days, but she will help you find a far richer life and, if you're careful in your response to her books, she just might help you find that often-elusive goal that lights up the world around us: Happiness.

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Level-Headed Advice Among So Much Noise April 6, 2011

By Marijo Tinlin

Format:Hardcover

Dr. Meeker's new book "The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers" is full of great insight about remembering exactly WHY you became a mom. It's not just to run to soccer practice and to make your 1 millionth peanut butter sandwich. It's to love and enjoy your children. To truly love and enjoy your children, you have to be happy yourself. It's like when you hear people say you can love someone fully until you love yourself. That's exactly what Dr. Meeker says for moms too! Instead of trying to decode all the hype around what type of parent to be (Tiger Mom, Panda Dad, whatever) just be happy and things fall in to place. As a mom with five kids in the family, I absolutely see how her approach works! This is a great read and I recommend it for all moms.