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The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun
 
 

The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun [Kindle Edition]

Gretchen Rubin
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (401 customer reviews)

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Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers
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Book Description

December 29, 2009

Gretchen Rubin had an epiphany one rainy afternoon in the unlikeliest of places: a city bus. "The days are long, but the years are short," she realized. "Time is passing, and I'm not focusing enough on the things that really matter." In that moment, she decided to dedicate a year to her happiness project.

In this lively and compelling account of that year, Rubin carves out her place alongside the authors of bestselling memoirs such as Julie and Julia, The Year of Living Biblically, and Eat, Pray, Love. With humor and insight, she chronicles her adventures during the twelve months she spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific research, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier.

Rubin didn't have the option to uproot herself, nor did she really want to; instead she focused on improving her life as it was. Each month she tackled a new set of resolutions: give proofs of love, ask for help, find more fun, keep a gratitude notebook, forget about results. She immersed herself in principles set forth by all manner of experts, from Epicurus to Thoreau to Oprah to Martin Seligman to the Dalai Lama to see what worked for her—and what didn't.

Her conclusions are sometimes surprising—she finds that money can buy happiness, when spent wisely; that novelty and challenge are powerful sources of happiness; that "treating" yourself can make you feel worse; that venting bad feelings doesn't relieve them; that the very smallest of changes can make the biggest difference—and they range from the practical to the profound.

Written with charm and wit, The Happiness Project is illuminating yet entertaining, thought-provoking yet compulsively readable. Gretchen Rubin's passion for her subject jumps off the page, and reading just a few chapters of this book will inspire you to start your own happiness project.



Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. Rubin is not an unhappy woman: she has a loving husband, two great kids and a writing career in New York City. Still, she could-and, arguably, should-be happier. Thus, her methodical (and bizarre) happiness project: spend one year achieving careful, measurable goals in different areas of life (marriage, work, parenting, self-fulfillment) and build on them cumulatively, using concrete steps (such as, in January, going to bed earlier, exercising better, getting organized, and "acting more energetic"). By December, she's striving bemusedly to keep increasing happiness in every aspect of her life. The outcome is good, not perfect (in accordance with one of her "Secrets of Adulthood": "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good"), but Rubin's funny, perceptive account is both inspirational and forgiving, and sprinkled with just enough wise tips, concrete advice and timely research (including all those other recent books on happiness) to qualify as self-help. Defying self-help expectations, however, Rubin writes with keen senses of self and narrative, balancing the personal and the universal with a light touch. Rubin's project makes curiously compulsive reading, which is enough to make any reader happy.

Review

“Practical and never preachy . . . the rare self-help tome that doesn’t feel shameful to read.”

Product Details

  • File Size: 580 KB
  • Print Length: 324 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0062011944
  • Publisher: HarperCollins e-books; 1 edition (December 29, 2009)
  • Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B002VJ9HRK
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,200 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
394 of 426 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Vine™ Review (What's this?)
This book is part memoir, part thinking person's self-help book. I like the fact that it draws not only on recent research in the new field of positive psychology, such as the work of Martin Seligman, but on the wisdom of thinkers as disparate as Samuel Butler and the ancient Stoic philosopher, Seneca. Many wonderful and wise quotations are included in the text. Gretchen Rubin has done a lot of research and reading, and distilled it all here, attempting to answer some vital questions. Is it possible to become a happier person? Is happiness a meaningful and worthwhile goal? She comes to the conclusion that while we may have a happiness set point, and a great deal of our mood is--researchers believe-- determined by heredity (50% or so), to some degree it is under own control (perhaps 30%). It may seem that someone who is not suffering from a painful mood disorder should be focused on other (more worthwhile?) goals than mood elevation. But happiness, after all, is something just about every human being wants, the goal that motivates much of our day to day striving. And rather than suggesting a life of self-centered hedonism, research indicates that the very factors that make for a meaningful life--good relationships, acting in a loving and generous way, engaging creatively with the world--contribute to happiness.

Will revamping your life and taking a systematic approach to seeking happiness work? Research indicates that it may. "I really am happier," says Rubin after a year of following through on her own personal happiness plan. She goes into enough specific detail here about how she got to her more happy state that I have no trouble believing her.

Very responsibly, Rubin points out that her intent is to help people who are well become happier, not to treat a medical condition, i.e., depression. I can imagine her book, however, being an aid for those who are mildly depressed, perhaps as an adjunct to medical treatment, though perhaps they need to be a bit easy on themselves and not follow the plan in a perfectionist, pressured way.

I'm with Rubin when she says that even though we are all very different, learning about someone else's successes and failures can be a better catalyst for change than studying ideas in the abstract. She is generous about revealing the details of her own life--her own "happiness project." What is most transferable is not the specifics--particular actions she decided to experiment with in order to become more happy--but the idea of identifying potential sources of joy, designing steps to take to become happier, making monthly resolutions, carrying through and being accountable--i.e., quantifying the results. The average reader is not going to be as thorough and focused as Rubin was--but in my view that does not negate the value of this book. I'm into progress, I guess, and I believe that even a couple of changes modeled on the plan could make a difference in people's lives.

The book is written in an open, engaging, often humorous style. There is no posturing--Rubin is if anything self-deprecating-- but the writing crackles with intelligence. I found the THE HAPPINESS PROJECT a pleasure to read, and I can imagine people reading it with enjoyment even if they are already happy as clams and have no desire to get with the program. Rubin includes a specific guide for those who want to construct their own happiness plans, and also directs the reader to tools on her web site--nice helpful touches. All in all, a terrific book.
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58 of 59 people found the following review helpful
By WHOru
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
I bought Gretchen Rubin's book after seeing an ad for it in the paper and reading only the 5-star reviews on Amazon.

Big mistake!

I have since read all the 1 and 2 star reviews here, and they get it exactly right.

When the book arrived, I flipped through it and it mentioned Ben Franklin, Carl Jung and other thinkers I greatly admire, so I sat down with great happiness to start reading.

Turns out the book is almost all about Gretchen "being Gretchen" and is way too padded out with filler "guest posts" from her blog.

I'm halfway through and - like many others - am about to give up on this book.

(P.S. I also kept wondering how much household help she has to have. Nannies, at least, as she wanders around NYC all day and never seems to have her 1-year-old with her!)

I wish I had saved the $$$ and not bought this book at all! Next time I won't be influenced by the fact that there were a ton of good reviews without at least sampling the 1-2 star ones too. Lesson learned!
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214 of 235 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Vine™ Review (What's this?)
I was torn between giving this book 2 stars and 4 stars (yes, I realize the compromise would've been to give it 3 stars, but that didn't seem to say much, really), because there are some real clunkers and some real gems here. But in the end, I liked what Rubin was trying to do, and I liked how she wrote about it. Rubin herself is pretty likeable and interesting--I wouldn't mind having a cup of coffee with her. Unlike a lot of self-help books, this book focuses on helping one particular self--the author. Rubin wanted to see if she could make her already-pretty-good life even better by trying a rather scattershot assortment of advice, focusing on one area of her life per month. Perhaps a better title for the book may have been "Gretchen's Happiness Project" but I suspect a title like that wouldn't fly off the shelves. But that is in large part her point: what makes one person happy may make another quite miserable. If you're struggling to figure out how to make your life happier, reading Rubin's book could either be a cautionary tale of what wouldn't work for your (quite useful information, actually), or a handy how-to guide that really could make you happier. I feel it's a book worth taking a chance on regardless.

Why this could've been a two-star book: the author sounds whiny and overprivileged in many places, especially when she thinks she deserves praise for something. She does, in fact, realize that this is a flaw in her, and to her credit, takes steps to change that. The book skips around a bit, too, especially when it comes to mentions of a certain saint. This saint is mentioned throughout the book, but no background on her (she seems to be a less-well-known saint, at least I had never heard of her) is given until the book is almost over, so it was really hard to see how these random quotes from this person fit without knowing anything about her. After reading about the saint, I can understand why the author liked her--knowing that upfront would've been very helpful. The thing that drove me the most crazy about this book was the insistence that introverts can be made more happy if they are around people. While there may be some backing for this (I've never seen any studies that say this, and none are cited here, just mentions that "research shows that. . . "), I don't find that to be at all true, and it struck me as a rather typical thing for an extrovert to claim. I'm not saying all introverts should or want to be hermits, but acknowledging that social interaction is actually very draining for introverts would've been welcome, and more true to the book's dictate to "be yourself."

IN the end, in the spirit of happiness, I gave the book 4 stars. There isn't really anything earth shattering or new here. But I did laugh in several places, and enjoyed reading it despite its flaws.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
THE HAPPINESS PROJECT
I stumbled upon this book by accident, and the title appealed to me immediately. After all, who doesn't want to be happy? Read more
Published 2 days ago by Olga Lita
Some good, some bad
I'm a tiny bit like Gretchen in that I like to be happy, I like projects and I like to be orderly and neat, so I was pretty excited to read about her closet-cleaning and... Read more
Published 4 days ago by P. Brooks
Wish I Could Get My Money Back...
I rarely abandon a book midway through, but after the 6th month of Gretchen "being Gretchen" I couldn't take any more. Read more
Published 5 days ago by CAnn
The Happiness Project
A friend of mine thought this would be fun read for our book club and we were all excited about reading it. Unfortunately, we all have found it pathetically difficult to read. Read more
Published 11 days ago by kaycee
None
While one cannot help leading a life of privilege and need not apologize for educational achievements or wealth, how can Ms. Read more
Published 15 days ago by James Blevins
an honest book about trying to be happier....
I had wanted to pick this book up for a while and finally did when I saw it on the library shelf. I'm glad I did. This book is in no way a "how to be happy" book. Read more
Published 16 days ago by Colleen M. Schneider
Best book ever
Originally I borrowed this book from my best friend who recommended it. I loved it so much that not only did I buy it for myself but I've purchased it as a gift for two of my close... Read more
Published 19 days ago by J. C. Hudder
A good curl up on the couch book!
I've read the good reviews and the bad reviews. This book has so many reviews, it hardly needs my help to sell it. Read more
Published 19 days ago by L.S.
Good read
The Happiness Project, I just couldn't stop reading it, I couldn't put it down, I couldn't stop talking about it, and I feel like it has greatly influenced me. Read more
Published 20 days ago by Skylar Masterson
Inspirational book!
I loved Gretchen Rubin's honesty, as well as her openness to trying new ways to create happiness. She actually inspired me to create my own personal happiness project.
Published 24 days ago by Lydia Remington
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More About the Author

I'm the author of "The Happiness Project," about the year I spend test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happy, to see what really worked. Happily, the book became a #1 New York Times and international bestseller.

On my blog, www.happiness-project.com, I write about my daily adventures in happiness.

My previous books include a bestselling biography of Winston Churchill, "Forty Ways to Look at Winston Churchill," and one of John Kennedy, "Forty Ways to Look at JFK." My first book, "Power Money Fame S..: A User's Guide," is social criticism in the guise of a user's manual. "Profane Waste" was a collaboration with artist Dana Hoey. I've also written three dreadful novels that are safely locked away in a drawer.

Before turning to writing, I had a career in law. A graduate of Yale and Yale Law School, I clerked for Justice Sandra Day O'Connor and was editor-in-chief of the Yale Law Journal. I live in New York City with my husband and two young daughters.

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To eke out the most happiness from an experience, we must anticipate it, savor it as it unfolds, express happiness, and recall a happy memory. &quote;
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