The Haunted Vagina and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more
Buy New
$7.95
Qty:1
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
Gift-wrap available.
The Haunted Vagina has been added to your Cart
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See all 2 images

The Haunted Vagina Paperback – September 18, 2006


See all 3 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle
"Please retry"
Paperback
"Please retry"
$7.95
$7.95 $9.29
$7.95 FREE Shipping on orders over $35. In Stock. Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.

Frequently Bought Together

The Haunted Vagina + The Baby Jesus Butt Plug + The Faggiest Vampire
Price for all three: $25.85

Some of these items ship sooner than the others.

Buy the selected items together

Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought

If you buy a new print edition of this book (or purchased one in the past), you can buy the Kindle Edition for FREE. Print edition purchase must be sold by Amazon. Learn more.


Best Books of the Year
Best Books of 2014
Looking for something great to read? Browse our editors' picks for 2014's Best Books of the Year in fiction, nonfiction, mysteries, children's books, and much more.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 100 pages
  • Publisher: Eraserhead Press (September 18, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 097624988X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0976249887
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.2 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (115 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #17,923 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

In Carlton Mellick III's fourteenth bizarro novel, The Haunted Vagina, the reader is presented with another Mellickian mind-bending concept--what if your girlfriend's vagina was a gateway to another world? We are introduced to Steve and his girlfriend Stacy, whose "haunted" vagina is a problem for their sex life. When a skeleton-like creature emerges from Stacy's vagina, the two decide to explore what may be inside of her.

When Steve explores (and becomes trapped in) Stacy's vaginal world, he reflects upon his relationship with her. Mellick makes it obvious through clear dialogue and abstract imagery that their relationship is not healthy. Despite these strange occurrences and relationship problems, Steve remains hopelessly devoted to Stacy. This love is the basis for Mellick's return to a common theme: the power, figuratively and literally, a women's vagina can hold over a man.

The joys and terrors that Steve finds in the vagina reflect his relationship with Stacy. The power and trust struggles are seen from inside both characters--inside Steve, who is the narrator of the story, and from literally inside Stacy. This allows the reader a uniquely personal viewpoint of Steve and Stacy's downward spiral as lovers.

Mellick has made a name for himself by writing consistently engaging, strange, and downright weird stories. His characters can sometimes get lost in the weirdness. The Haunted Vagina is not really about the hallucinogenic world Steve finds inside Stacy; it is about the characters themselves. Their doubts and fears fuel the plot.

Fan's looking only for Mellick's hardcore gore and extremely bizarre imagery may be disappointed, as this book is more subtle than its predecessors. Don't be mistaken: this is still very much a horror book that explores the vagaries and dangers of lust, love and obsession. In this Bizarro novel, Mellick illustrates the human condition better than many authors of "realism."

Despite having dealt with similar themes before (e.g. Razor Wire Pubic Hair and The Steel Breakfast Era), this is Mellick's most mature and effective representation of men's sexual fears. His sparse style paints an intimate portrait of Steve and Stacy's relationship. The Haunted Vagina deserves attention; it's among Mellick's very best.

--The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction, Fall 2009

From the Back Cover

Praise for Carlton Mellick III

"Easily the craziest, weirdest, strangest, funniest, most obscene writer in America."
- GOTHIC MAGAZINE

"Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles... and the kinkiest fans!"
- CHRISTOPHER MOORE, author of The Stupidest Angel

"If you haven't read Mellick you're not nearly perverse enough for the twenty first century."
- JACK KETCHUM
, author of The Woman and The Girl Next Door

"Carlton Mellick III is one of bizarro fiction's most talented practitioners, a virtuoso of the surreal, science fictional tale."
- CORY DOCTOROW, author of Little Brother

"Bizarre, twisted, and emotionally raw--Carlton Mellick's fiction is the literary equivalent of putting your brain in a blender."
- BRIAN KEENE, author of The Rising and Dead Sea

"Carlton Mellick III exemplifies the intelligence and wit that lurks between its lurid covers. In a genre where crude titles are an art in themselves, Mellick is a true artist."
- THE GUARDIAN

"Just as Pop had Andy Warhol and Dada Tristan Tzara, the Bizarro movement has its very own P. T. Barnum-type practitioner. He's the mutton-chopped author of such books as Electric Jesus Corpse and The Menstruating Mall, the illustrator, editor, and instructor of all things Bizarro, and his name is Carlton Mellick III."
- DETAILS MAGAZINE

More About the Author

Like a real world Kilgore Trout, cult author CARLTON MELLICK III has been pumping out some of the weirdest, trashiest, most imaginative books that you'll never want to admit you secretly love.

His books are released on a quarterly basis (every January, April, July, and October).

Best known as one of the leading authors of the bizarro fiction movement in literature, he is also one of the most prolific authors of his generation with over 40 books in print since 2001. He won the Wonderland Book Award for his novel "Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland" and has had short stories make it into The Year's Best Fantasy and Horror and The Best Bizarro Fiction of the Decade.

Although many of his earliest works are on the surreal and experimental side, his current style is to take the most ridiculous concepts imaginable and approach them with complete sincerity, as if they are not intended to be ridiculous at all. Always full of tongue-in-cheek humor, social satire, and told in a simplistic straightforward prose style similar to that of children's literature or early pulp fiction, Carlton Mellick III's work is one of a kind, to say the least.

He lives in Portland, OR, the bizarro mecca.

Customer Reviews

It is well written and funny.
TheSugarRay
I think it's the first book I've read in one day albeit it's a short book, I am a bit of a slow reader so it just shows how much I liked it.
C. Juliet
You know your BF crawled inside your damn vagina!
SaturnMoonie

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 22 people found the following review helpful By Jeff Burk on January 23, 2007
Format: Paperback
Wow, we have another mind-blowing book from Bizarro high priest, Father Mellick. What if your girlfriend's vagina was a gateway to another universe? What would you find there?

Thematically similiar to "Razor Wire Pubic Hair," "the Haunted Vagina" is an exploration of the female body and the power it can hold over men (figuratively and literally). The tale is dark, disturbing, and funny. But most importantly, it causes the reader to think. If you have ever been in love, this book will pose some unsettling questions.

I am also pleased to say that this book features some of Mellick's best characterization. Sometimes Mellick's characters become secondary to the strangeness of the story; not in this book. You will be consumed with and his relationships in the real world and in the vagina world.

Don't let the small size fool you. There is a lot to this book. Highly, Highly recommended.
1 Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
19 of 22 people found the following review helpful By Schtinky VINE VOICE on December 16, 2006
Format: Paperback
Steve falls madly in love with Stacy, but it isn't until they move in together that he hears voices coming from Stacy's southern junction. When a skeletal creature makes it's was through Stacy into their world, Stacy convinces Steve he must go exploring to find out where this mysterious passage leads. After his fist foray, Steve almost doesn't make it back from the alternate world, but the next time Stacy sets him up for a full spelunking.

This is by far one of Mellick's best books ever. The alternate world is rich and mysterious, and occasionally frightening. The sheer strangeness of the tale will keep you turning pages until the end. My only complaint is that the book is short; I could have stayed much longer in Stacy's southern hemisphere. I highly recommend this book for aficionados of horror, punk, cult, or outlandish fiction. Enjoy!
1 Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
11 of 13 people found the following review helpful By smele on December 5, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book is as fun as its title. It is a short read, and if you're the type of person that's intrigued by the idea of a haunted vagina, you'll probably enjoy it. I was genuinely immersed in the weirdness of Mellick's world. The writing isn't the best. Mellick is no Shakespeare. But let's face it -- nobody is reading this because they want Pulitzer quality literature.

Like other reviewers have lamented, it's expensive for what it is. $4 if you buy it used, then another $4.99 for shipping. Would I buy it again? Probably not. Would I read it again? You bet. It's a quick, enjoyable read that can be finished in an evening, even if all your pretentious literary friends will look down on you for it.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Eric Mendez on October 30, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Insane. The writing feels a bit amateur at times but I think that is part of what gives it charm. I read it straight through not because it was short but because it was engaging. If you have the right attitude you will come to love this book. Punk writing in it's simplest form.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By TK on January 8, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
when i saw this book i was exited because i thought it was going to be symbolic in a very twisted way, after reading the book in less than one hour, (considering it only consist of about 50 pages of print, once you subtract margins and intro) i noticed that i liked everything about the book except the story, i loved his writing style and bizzaro imagery but the story line seemed to be to impulsive and ended with a very unexpected twist that leaves you kinda bummed, dont get me wrong i usually love a book that jerks you around at the end but this one just didn't impress me
-Tommy
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By J. Krall on August 19, 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
What we have here is another excellent work by Carlton Mellick III.

It's a love story that takes place (mostly) in the strange, haunted world of a vagina. It's not as crude as you'd think by reading the title. That's the brilliance of CM3. The title and concept just DRAWS you in. You think you might be getting a sleazy romp but instead you get a tight, bizarro, love story.

Fair enough. It's not a complete love story.. It's not a corny, tear-jerker. But, as another reviewer mentioned, it has great characterization of the main character. You really get to experience his feelings about the whole situation and emphasize with him many times. When he gets screwed over (so to speak) you really feel like you've been screwed over.

The imagery is vivid, too. In my opinion, that's key to a successful bizarro story. The only reason why I've given it only 4 stars is that I felt it could have benefited from a few more pages. Maybe that's just my attraction to the haunted world.. I really wanted to know a little more about things and perhaps see more interactions with the beings that reside there. That's just me, of course. Others may disagree. This should not, however, deter you from buying this book.

The humor in this book (and in other works by Mellick) is not intended as a "Hey, look, I'm funny!" type of thing. It's the hilarity of bad situations, of embarrassing moments, of uncomfortable realities.

Anyway, if you enjoy Mellick's work already, then you won't be disappointed. If you've never read anything by him.. [...].
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Spock on September 29, 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
On the page after the one-line author's note, there's a quote from Charlie Kaufman (Being John Malkovich, Adaptation, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind), which is quite suiting to the story. As in Being John Malkovich, The Haunted Vagina features a passage of sorts that leads to another world. It's also a love story, and like the protagonists in the formerly mentioned films, Steve of The Haunted Vagina initially comes across as shy, passive, and a bit awkward. This isn't the only CM3 book featuring such a character, and it isn't the only one with a domineering female either, but here he really hits the mark with both. In fact, the hyper-sexual/surreal content functions so harmoniously with the characters that they feel more fleshed out than in most 100 page books not just by Mellick, but by anyone.

Be warned, The Haunted Vagina is a strange little book. While it's heavy on sexual content, not once does it feel gratuitous. I would also venture to say that even when the lunacy kicks in full throttle, it remains firmly rooted in a very human story. Still, if you've never been exposed to Bataille, De Sade, or bizarro writers like Mellick, this might feel pornographic, as it did to someone who I gave the book to. Otherwise, crawl right into this hauntingly charming tale for an evening. It's dinner on me if you don't find yourself changed by the end.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again

Most Recent Customer Reviews


What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?