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The No Hellos Diet Paperback – August 16, 2011


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 88 pages
  • Publisher: Lazy Fascist Press (August 16, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1936383764
  • ISBN-13: 978-1936383764
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #536,366 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

"The No Hellos Diet by Sam Pink backs in to weirdness in much the same way as the early novels of Chuck Palahnuik. Life lived on the sketchy edges of society has an innate weirdness brought on by poverty, social exclusion and mental illness. Pink is a keen observer of the culture of minimum-wage jobs and low-rent studio apartments that is the reality of life for all those who don't find a cog space in today's hyper-capitalist economy. The No Hellos Diet is the story of a shop clerk with no dreams or aspirations, told in the second person because, frankly, this is your life we're talking about here." - THE GUARDIAN

"No matter what he's writing, Pink's eye for describing the bizarre daily parade of being a person surrounded by other people and with a brain that won't turn off is by turns hilarious, self-destructive, surreal, precise, and moving without trying to be moving." - VICE       

"Pink's got to have a bit of genius in him to take something as mind-numbing as a job stocking shelves and turn it into a side street billboard showcasing the internal struggle of the awkward and antisocial. Using the slightly uncomfortable second person perspective, "you" are sucked straight into the mind of, well, yourself. You work at an Ultra-High-Risk department store too close to Blood Alley for anyone's comfort. You're made to watch an orientation video of interviews of past employees who are missing body parts and have suffered brain damage due to workplace accidents. You chill with co-workers with names like Sour Cream and humor his fetishist questions. You get a quick thrill out of crushing boxes in the compactor. Your brain thinks up the weirdest shit while you're working. It just won't shut off. It never stops..." - THE NEXT BEST BOOK BLOG

More About the Author

Sam Pink is the author of The No Hellos Diet, Hurt Others, I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It, Frowns Need Friends Too, and the cult hit Person. His writing has been published widely in print and on the internet, and also in other languages. He lives in Chicago, where he plays in the band Depressed Woman.

Be his friend at www.impersonalelectroniccommunication.com.

Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
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See all 19 customer reviews
Part of the quickness of the read is because the book keeps you turning pages.
Marcos
The character works in a department store and I like this average Joe anti-hero protagonist.
Santiago
He has a knack for introspection, and a truly unique way of looking at things.
Dustin Reade

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Samuel Moss on May 29, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
There are plenty of reasons for you to not like "The No Hellos Diet": it is written in the second person which you may find gimmicky or strange, its paragraphs are one often sentence statements which you may find thin, lacking or undescriptive. You may find the main character unusual or disgusting, his relationships flawed his life disturbing. You may find Uptown Chicago, the environment in which he lives, frightening and cold, his job boring, his body decaying. You are kind, confused and you only have one friend: your ex-girlfriend whom you no longer love. But this book is about you. So you better learn to deal with it.

There is an undercurrent of fear and paranoia that runs through the work: a piece of taffy could take out all your teeth, you watch people leaving a train to come out twice in case they are extras and you your life is fake. But they never are, and the taffy doesn't pull your teeth out. Perhaps you meditate on the fear and pain because they will make your life more interesting, more bearable in the monotony of work. There is however a certain comfort in the monotony of working a menial labor job at a giant department store: the security, the money, the safety from the streets.

Most of the conversations that occur in the book are meaningless or incomprehensible. Simply repeating what the other person says or simply saying gibberish can have more meaning that speaking your mind. In a very funny section the question of what makes you a good person is considered: in the world of The No Hellos Diet (and ours really) charity can only fix a problem temporarily, kindness, may only elicit strange looks or suspicion but scrumptioness? Scrumptioness is the highest ideal, appreciated by all especially the millions of readers of romance novels.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful By spencer madsen on June 18, 2012
Format: Paperback
If you've read any Sam Pink book, you know you're going to laugh, cringe, nod your head repeatedly, and feel a sort of sadness that appears enormous, a sadness for everyone.

The No Hellos Diet is different, not in the ways described above, but in that its You. You are the one working for minimum wage at Target, not sam pink.

You experience everything firsthand. Your homophobic, but dick-obsessed coworker, Sourcream, will continue as always to deem you a big-d*ck hustler. Any why not.

You'll live the life your parents never wanted you to live, and it'll be profoundly funny, weird, and terrible. Some messed up kid will show you his pets. You'll hate it.

I can't get enough of Pink's books, it doesn't matter which one you read first. Pick any of them up, you'll question what any other writer is doing these days.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By E. Stinson on March 27, 2013
Format: Paperback
There aren't many people who are so explicit about the reason for doomed tonality.

I don't mean that Sam like... talks Marxism, but he also doesn't complain about vague feelings of hopelessness. The feelings seem quite grounded in reality.

The character he creates doesn't seem to be on any sort of quest, he learns very little, he experiences very few positive things. Any yet, this is certainly a novel.

One that I enjoyed reading, harshly, the words falling around me like various items to be re-stocked at a large budget department store.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Anthony Fischer on December 12, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
The concept of this book is that it's about "your" life as seen from "your" point of view over the course of a year. Each chapter is a different month over that year period. While I was initially sceptical of this concept, by the end I was amazed at how similar some of the character's conversations/thoughts are to actual coversations/thoughts I've had in real life. I even live right outside Chicago, where the book takes place.
Normally I'd list plot points and such but I feel to reveal too much would ruin the fun of this book, so the basic plot is that "you" have a new job at a department store, "you" go to it, "you" encouter co-workers and "your" ex-girlfriend, "you" have strange conversations and thoughts along the way, sounds simple but it's very entertaining. Another short but fun read from Eraserhead imprint Lazy Fascist Press.

Also, be warned, if you're looking for the crazy weird Bizarro stuff this book isn't it. Read it anyway.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Dustin Reade on October 24, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book...it is really something special.
George Carlin once talked about the way he came up with his material. He said there were two worlds. The "BIG" world, which involves lofty concepts like politics, and global issues stuff.
The second world, the "SMALL" world, dealt with more personal things. Observations on the self, existentialism, and what not.
Sam Pink is a master of the Small World. He understands what it means to be a person, a REAL person, to work at some awful job that you hate but don't hate because if it weren't for that job you'd be sitting at home staring at the walls. He has a knack for introspection, and a truly unique way of looking at things.

In this book, he talks about working in a department store. he has numerous conversations. Sneezes. Deals with an ex-girlfriend who still hangs around. Worries about his hair.
And so on.

I know how that sounds, but somehow Sam Pink makes all of the above activities incredibly entertaining, deep, humorous, and meaningful.
Or meaningless.
Whatever.
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