To get the free app, enter your email address or mobile phone number.
The No Hellos Diet Paperback – August 16, 2011
Top 20 lists in Books
View the top 20 best sellers of all time, the most reviewed books of all time and some of our editors' favorite picks. Learn more
Frequently Bought Together
Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought
From the Inside Flap
"No matter what he's writing, Pink's eye for describing the bizarre daily parade of being a person surrounded by other people and with a brain that won't turn off is by turns hilarious, self-destructive, surreal, precise, and moving without trying to be moving." - VICE
"Pink's got to have a bit of genius in him to take something as mind-numbing as a job stocking shelves and turn it into a side street billboard showcasing the internal struggle of the awkward and antisocial. Using the slightly uncomfortable second person perspective, "you" are sucked straight into the mind of, well, yourself. You work at an Ultra-High-Risk department store too close to Blood Alley for anyone's comfort. You're made to watch an orientation video of interviews of past employees who are missing body parts and have suffered brain damage due to workplace accidents. You chill with co-workers with names like Sour Cream and humor his fetishist questions. You get a quick thrill out of crushing boxes in the compactor. Your brain thinks up the weirdest shit while you're working. It just won't shut off. It never stops..." - THE NEXT BEST BOOK BLOG
More About the Author
Be his friend at www.impersonalelectroniccommunication.com.
Top Customer Reviews
There is an undercurrent of fear and paranoia that runs through the work: a piece of taffy could take out all your teeth, you watch people leaving a train to come out twice in case they are extras and you your life is fake. But they never are, and the taffy doesn't pull your teeth out. Perhaps you meditate on the fear and pain because they will make your life more interesting, more bearable in the monotony of work. There is however a certain comfort in the monotony of working a menial labor job at a giant department store: the security, the money, the safety from the streets.
Most of the conversations that occur in the book are meaningless or incomprehensible. Simply repeating what the other person says or simply saying gibberish can have more meaning that speaking your mind. In a very funny section the question of what makes you a good person is considered: in the world of The No Hellos Diet (and ours really) charity can only fix a problem temporarily, kindness, may only elicit strange looks or suspicion but scrumptioness? Scrumptioness is the highest ideal, appreciated by all especially the millions of readers of romance novels.Read more ›
George Carlin once talked about the way he came up with his material. He said there were two worlds. The "BIG" world, which involves lofty concepts like politics, and global issues stuff.
The second world, the "SMALL" world, dealt with more personal things. Observations on the self, existentialism, and what not.
Sam Pink is a master of the Small World. He understands what it means to be a person, a REAL person, to work at some awful job that you hate but don't hate because if it weren't for that job you'd be sitting at home staring at the walls. He has a knack for introspection, and a truly unique way of looking at things.
In this book, he talks about working in a department store. he has numerous conversations. Sneezes. Deals with an ex-girlfriend who still hangs around. Worries about his hair.
And so on.
I know how that sounds, but somehow Sam Pink makes all of the above activities incredibly entertaining, deep, humorous, and meaningful.
Normally I'd list plot points and such but I feel to reveal too much would ruin the fun of this book, so the basic plot is that "you" have a new job at a department store, "you" go to it, "you" encouter co-workers and "your" ex-girlfriend, "you" have strange conversations and thoughts along the way, sounds simple but it's very entertaining. Another short but fun read from Eraserhead imprint Lazy Fascist Press.
Also, be warned, if you're looking for the crazy weird Bizarro stuff this book isn't it. Read it anyway.
The No Hellos Diet is different, not in the ways described above, but in that its You. You are the one working for minimum wage at Target, not sam pink.
You experience everything firsthand. Your homophobic, but dick-obsessed coworker, Sourcream, will continue as always to deem you a big-d*ck hustler. Any why not.
You'll live the life your parents never wanted you to live, and it'll be profoundly funny, weird, and terrible. Some messed up kid will show you his pets. You'll hate it.
I can't get enough of Pink's books, it doesn't matter which one you read first. Pick any of them up, you'll question what any other writer is doing these days.
I don't mean that Sam like... talks Marxism, but he also doesn't complain about vague feelings of hopelessness. The feelings seem quite grounded in reality.
The character he creates doesn't seem to be on any sort of quest, he learns very little, he experiences very few positive things. Any yet, this is certainly a novel.
One that I enjoyed reading, harshly, the words falling around me like various items to be re-stocked at a large budget department store.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Sam Pink is the Walt Whitman of the zombie generation. This book, along with his other works Person, Rontel, and You Hear Ambulance Sounds and Think They are for You-forces you to... Read morePublished 6 months ago by Sarah Penney
I really, really liked No Hellos, it was funny and it was refreshing to read something in second-person. Read morePublished 13 months ago by Sharon
Regardless of number of species, the genus is the second-largest member of the arum family. Taxonomically, the genus Philodendron is still poorly known, with many undescribed... Read morePublished 20 months ago by St.
Sammy boy rocks my world. I want to have 10,000 or more of his babies. Really though, he is a very interesting writer and I am excited to watch him grow.Published on October 29, 2013 by Eugene Milquetoste
Hilarious. Won't say more, I wouldn't want to spoil anything. Here are ten more words as required by amazon dot com.Published on August 21, 2013 by Alex
I gave my mom this book to read. She did not finish it and gave it a review of "weird ramblings of a messed up loser". I can't disagree with her. Read morePublished on June 18, 2013 by SexyDale
The book had it's enjoyable parts but it's not as good as his later works. If you want to see how much Sam Pink has grown as an author I would definitely recommend this book but... Read morePublished on May 10, 2013 by J. W. Kosman
Sam Pink is really something.
This book is written in the 2nd person
which is "you"
it is amazing
prehaps even a
a modern classic