Start reading The Hour I First Believed on the free Kindle Reading App or on your Kindle in under a minute. Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here.

Deliver to your Kindle or other device

Enter a promotion code
or gift card

Try it free

Sample the beginning of this book for free

Deliver to your Kindle or other device

Anybody can read Kindle books—even without a Kindle device—with the FREE Kindle app for smartphones, tablets and computers.
Sorry, this item is not available in
Image not available for
Image not available

The Hour I First Believed [Kindle Edition]

Wally Lamb
3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (689 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $15.99
Kindle Price: $8.99
You Save: $7.00 (44%)
Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers

If you buy a new print edition of this book (or purchased one in the past), you can buy the Kindle edition for only $2.99 (Save 67%). Print edition purchase must be sold by Amazon. Learn more.


Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle Edition $8.99  
Hardcover --  
Paperback $12.22  
Audible Audio Edition, Unabridged $53.95 or Free with Audible 30-day free trial
Audio, CD, Audiobook, Unabridged $44.06  
Unknown Binding --  
Literature & Fiction Books for $1.99 Each
Now through March 11, select literature & fiction Kindle books are $1.99 each. Browse the full selection to find your next great read.

Book Description

When high school teacher Caelum Quirk and his wife, Maureen, a school nurse, move to Littleton, Colorado, they both get jobs at Columbine High School. In April 1999, while Caelum is away, Maureen finds herself in the library at Columbine, cowering in a cabinet and expecting to be killed. Miraculously, she survives, but at a cost: she is unable to recover from the trauma. When Caelum and Maureen flee to an illusion of safety on the Quirk family's Connecticut farm, they discover that the effects of chaos are not easily put right, and further tragedy ensues.

Editorial Reviews Review

Product Description

Wally Lamb's two previous novels, She's Come Undone and I Know This Much Is True, struck a chord with readers. They responded to the intensely introspective nature of the books, and to their lively narrative styles and biting humor. One critic called Wally Lamb a "modern-day Dostoyevsky," whose characters struggle not only with their respective pasts, but with a "mocking, sadistic God" in whom they don't believe but to whom they turn, nevertheless, in times of trouble (New York Times).

In his new novel, The Hour I First Believed, Lamb travels well beyond his earlier work and embodies in his fiction myth, psychology, family history stretching back many generations, and the questions of faith that lie at the heart of everyday life. The result is an extraordinary tour de force, at once a meditation on the human condition and an unflinching yet compassionate evocation of character.

When forty-seven-year-old high school teacher Caelum Quirk and his younger wife, Maureen, a school nurse, move to Littleton, Colorado, they both get jobs at Columbine High School. In April 1999, Caelum returns home to Three Rivers, Connecticut, to be with his aunt who has just had a stroke. But Maureen finds herself in the school library at Columbine, cowering in a cabinet and expecting to be killed, as two vengeful students go on a carefully premeditated, murderous rampage. Miraculously she survives, but at a cost: she is unable to recover from the trauma. Caelum and Maureen flee Colorado and return to an illusion of safety at the Quirk family farm in Three Rivers. But the effects of chaos are not so easily put right, and further tragedy ensues.

While Maureen fights to regain her sanity, Caelum discovers a cache of old diaries, letters, and newspaper clippings in an upstairs bedroom of his family's house. The colorful and intriguing story they recount spans five generations of Quirk family ancestors, from the Civil War era to Caelum's own troubled childhood. Piece by piece, Caelum reconstructs the lives of the women and men whose legacy he bears. Unimaginable secrets emerge; long-buried fear, anger, guilt, and grief rise to the surface.

As Caelum grapples with unexpected and confounding revelations from the past, he also struggles to fashion a future out of the ashes of tragedy. His personal quest for meaning and faith becomes a mythic journey that is at the same time quintessentially contemporary—and American.

The Hour I First Believed is a profound and heart-rending work of fiction. Wally Lamb proves himself a virtuoso storyteller, assembling a variety of voices and an ensemble of characters rich enough to evoke all of humanity.

From the Author: Wally Lamb's Playlist for The Hour I First Believed

I’m often asked what novels by other authors I 'm reading when I’m writing one of my own. The better question is: What and who am I listening to? I’m pleased to share many of the tunes, recognizable and obscure, that helped me write Part I, "Butterfly" of my novel, The Hour I First Believed. I hope you enjoy them.

1. "Gloria," by Van Morrison from The Sopranos - Peppers and Eggs: Music from the HBO Series (Morrison) Caelum saves a slot for Van the Man in his list of “Greatest Songs of the Rock Era.” Morrison had this hit with the band Them in 1964, the year Caelum was 13.

2. "The Meaning of Loneliess," by Van Morrison from Wh at's Wrong with This Picture? (Morrison) In a bluesy mood, now-middle-aged Morrison explores the “existential dread” of life’s second half. Middle-aged Caelum’s pondering life’s meaning, too.

3. "A--hole," by James Luther Dickinson from Free Beer Tomorrow (Unobsky) “Ask any of us cynical bastards to lift up our shirt, and we’ll show you where we got shot in the heart,” says Caelum, as he angrily grieves two failed marriages and a third failing one.

4. "Black Books," by Nils Lofgren from The Sopranos - Peppers and Eggs: Music from the HBO Series (Lofgren) Lofgren’s mournful vocal, matched to his stunning guitar work, mirrors Caelum struggles to accept the jolting reality of Maureen’s infidelity.

5. "Useless Desires," by Patty Griffin from Impossible Dream (Griffin) Dr. Patel advises Caelum that if he cannot forgive his wife, he should move on. Instead, the Quirks move away from Three Rivers and toward tragedy in Littleton. Griffin’s bittersweet road song captures both the desire for and the futility of escape.

6. "At the Bottom of Everything," by Bright Eyes from I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning (C. Oberst) Conor Oberst (aka Bright Eyes) imagines an airplane ride every bit as strange as the one Caelum takes beside chaos theorist Mickey Schmidt.

7. "House Where Nobody Lives," by Tom Waits from Mule Variations (Waits) In response to his aunt’s stroke, and later, her death, Caelum returns to a now-empty farmhouse.

8. "When God Made Me," by Neil Young from Prairie Wind (Young) Caelum, back in Three Rivers and now in his late forties, contemplates an earlier, more innocent youth--and its loss.

9. "Mbube (The Lion Sleeps Tonight)," by Ladysmith Black Mambazo with Taj Mahal from Long Walk to Freedom (traditional) Mr. Mpipi performs a dance of hunger that turns into a dance of love, and a praying mantis egg case explodes with life on young Caelum’s windowsill.

10. "Believe," by Cher from The Very Best of Cher (B. Higgins/S. McClennan/P. Barry/S. Torch/M. Gray/T. Powell) “Believe” was inescapable in 1999, the year I toured Europe with my previous novel and began this one. The pop star’s durability causes Caelum to speculate that only two life forms would survive a nuclear holocaust: cockroaches and Cher.

11. "My Buddy," by Chet Baker from The Best of Chet Baker Sings (Donaldson/ Kahn) My dad used to sing this song to me when I was a little boy, riding beside him in our green Hudson during Saturday errands. Baker’s songs always makes me sad, but this one’s bittersweet. I played it over and over when I was writing the episode where Caelum’s father drives him to town to buy him his belated Christmas gift.

12. "Mary," by Patty Griffin from Flaming Red (Griffin) When the shooting begins in the Columbine library, Maureen crawls inside a cabinet, writes Caelum a goodbye note, and prays the Hail Mary.

13. "A Case of You," by Prince from < i>A Tribute to Joni Mitchell (Mitchell) This Joni Mitchell classic evokes, for me, the impact of Mo’s Columbine experience on the Quirks’ marriage.

14. "Losing My Religion," by R.E.M. from In Time: The Best of R.E.M 1988-2003 (M. Stipe/P. Buck) How could a merciful deity allow Columbine to happen? Caelum’s ambivalence about god turns to bitter rejection.

15. "Couldn’t Hear Nobody Pray," by Maggie and Suzzy Roche, Ysaye Barnwell, and DuPree from Zero Church (traditional) Disengaged and disspirited, Caelum gropes for a spiritual connection but hears only silence. This song was recorded by vocalists from the Roches and Sweet Honey in the Rock in the aftermath of 9/11/2001. The shadow of that cataclysmic day hung over my writing of this novel for six years.

16. "I Drink," by Mary Gauthier from Mercy Now (Gauthier/Harmon) As Maureen’s reliance on prescription drugs increases, Caelum, too, numbs himself--with his father’s, and later Ulysses’s, preferred poison.

17. "Hallelujah," by Jeff Buckley from So Real: Songs from Jeff Buckley (L. Cohen) Leonard Cohen’s haunting meditation about the spirit and the flesh has been covered by many artists. The late Jeff Buckley’s version is perhaps the loveliest and most poignant.

18. "The Ghost of Tom Joad," by Bruce Springsteen from The Ghost of Tom Joad (Springsteen) In the closing days of a traumatic school year, in a borrowed classroom, Caelum and his students discuss Steinbeck’s masterpiece, The Grapes of Wrath. Shortly after, Caelum and Mo will take to the road as the Joads did, yet they’ll travel from west to east.

Praise for The Hour I First Believed

“Lamb...has delivered a tour de force, his best yet. A”
--Entertainment Weekly

“Lamb, a maestro of orchestrating emotion . . . knows how to make his fans’ hearts sing.”

“A page-turner... Lamb remains a storyteller at the top of his game.”
--USA Today

“A soaring novel as amazingly graceful as the classic hymn that provides the title”
--Miami Herald

“Wally Lamb is a remarkable talent.”
--Columbus Dispatch

“Every character is rendered with vivid, utterly convincing depth....a heck of a page-turner.”
--Dallas Morning News

“[Lamb’s] pacing is superb: Sections of the story expand to accommodate a mix of characters, yet scenes don’t linger overlong.”
--Cleveland Plain Dealer

“Lamb has crafted another affecting, engrossing tome about complicated, interesting characters.”
--Minneapolis Star Tribune

“…too compelling to put down…a richly textured story...”
--St. Louis Post-Dispatch

“Lamb does an extraordinary job narrating some of the most terrifying tragedies of the past 10 epic journey. Grade: A.”
--Rocky Mountain News

“When you put Lamb’s newest novel down, it will be reluctantly. It’s that good.”
--Knoxville News-Sentinel

From Bookmarks Magazine

Fans of Wally Lamb's previous novels will find few thematic surprises in his newest: tales of family dysfunction, loneliness, sexual abuse, infidelity, and pain abound. Critics agreed that Lamb, a wonderful storyteller, allows his tragedies to unfold naturally; the best—and scariest—part relates the details of the Columbine massacre. However, not all agreed that the novel fully succeeds. While the first half (about Columbine and its aftermath) is utterly riveting, the second part—which tries to recount every violent event from the mid-19th century to the present—contains too many subplots and "fails even as a melodrama" (Washington Post). But readers who don't buy into Lamb's grand statement on the American experience should still find something worthy in his very real, achingly complex, set of characters.
Copyright 2008 Bookmarks Publishing LLC

Product Details

  • File Size: 1242 KB
  • Print Length: 645 pages
  • Publisher: HarperCollins e-books; Reprint edition (October 6, 2009)
  • Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0018QQQFS
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #37,531 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  •  Would you like to give feedback on images?

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
143 of 166 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Gritty, confident, witty, and direct November 12, 2008
The story begins with the Columbine School Massacre, having followed the seemingly innocent culprits before the event. It then goes into fiction centred on the two main characters, husband and wife, and how they are affected, along with glimpses into their family's past. It all makes for an epic journey.

I must admit had difficulty finishing this book, the reason? Quite simply I did not like the character who was the narrator. The narrator, Caelum Quirk, is an educated man, a teacher, but he has among other failings anger management problems, a wife who was once unfaithful, and they both are prone to using unsavoury language. To follow them through their traumatic experiences was at time almost a burden. For me it is important to feel something for the main characters in a story, to care about them, but here I was unable to connect.

Maybe the fault is mine. The book is extremely well written and reads with great ease. It is gritty, confident, witty, and direct; putting aside my reservations it would make very involving and rewarding reading. But if I am going to become involved in a story it is essential that I am able to feel something of the main characters; I do not expect them to be perfect, but I need to be able warm to them, to care about them, and here I could not.
Was this review helpful to you?
41 of 45 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Dark Book November 17, 2008
By Adriana
If you allow it, this book will effect your mood. The story ties in actual events that took place at Columbine High with the actual people, places and evidence tied into a fictional account of the narrator/author's account of things happining in his life before,during and the most compelling, dark period, after the columbine murders and it's affect it takes on himself and his wife and the world around him. This is truly dark stuff, because you KNOW that someone, somewhere is experiencing exactly what your reading in this book.

If the general story doesn't sound interesting enough for a 750+ page hardcover book, don't worry, the story will not allow you to put the book down as the pages fly by. I have had the book for 3 days and have finished it and didn't once feel like I was reading a (big) book.

Great book, but beware. The author touches on alot of personal subjects that cover depression, anxiety, sexual abuse, murder, adultery, and a host of others that can and will carry with you after you put the book down.
Was this review helpful to you?
134 of 159 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Love Wally Lamb - very disapointed December 2, 2008
I consider Wally Lamb to be one of the most personally influential authors I have ever read. I have waited in anticipation for this book to be released. He lacks in areas I normally site as his strength - character development. Usually Lamb has the power to pull you into the body of the character and feel their emotions with them however in this work, I merely felt that he used side stories to distract from the fact that none of them had depth. Maureen, 'Mo' is the character I found the most appealing, but because the story is written from her husbands point of view, her deep tragedy goes without any sort of lasting impact on the reader. Lamb claims to have chosen events & people that occurred over the past 8 years to draw inspiration from and give them everlasting tributes through their impact in his characters lives. But all he manages to achieve is a listless and unconvincing review of the events of the stories we still see day to day on the 6 o'clock news. His closing remarks reveal that he struggled with writing this book, and I believe the pressure got to him... he wasn't true to himself in this work. Such a shame.
Was this review helpful to you?
17 of 19 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars A Disappointment January 19, 2009
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
It's hard what to make of Wally Lamb's big new book. It has, at its heart, a tale of devastation, pseudo-Greek tragedy. The book's conceit, the senseless day of slaughter at Columbine High School in Littleton Colorado in the late 90s by two disaffected teens should be what this book is about. Indeed, we are given a sort of TV view of the masacre, and the book pays it a lot of attention. For a while.

But ultimately, Columbine remains unexamined. Instead, this weighty tome rambles through lots and lots of what turns out to be frustratingly tedious Family History, which may be fascinating to our protagonist, to me sounds like trying real hard to make this book into what it cannot be, but is anyway: a Great Big Novel.

I really liked quite a bit of the buildup to the tragedy, the imperfect veil of tears that entwines itself into every endeavor, every feeling. The story of the marriage might have been the better counterpoint, but it gets swallowed up in the novel's own self destruction. Slowly but surely, the central terrible act of the book is pulled ever so slightly off the stage. A central character's reaction to that tragedy gets trivialized into boring jailhouse conversations.

But then it turned into a (self-serving) "Quest" novel, and it fell apart. This might have been a lean nouvelle, except Mr Lamb is not known for writing short novels. If this ever makes it to movie form, I would seriously consider dropping the whole subplot about 19th century answers and secrets revealed that mean everything to some character, but to the reader, not much. Problems are too acute and then too easily solved so as to get on with things.
Read more ›
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Not his best but a good read
I like wally lamb. This wasn't my favorite book of his but it was a good read.
Published 14 hours ago by Cheri Salazar
5.0 out of 5 stars Surprises galore
Fascinating and a treasure of surprising plots!
Published 2 days ago by Linda F. Dudley
2.0 out of 5 stars Caelum??
First of all, I liked to say I love Wally Lamb's stories. I've read "I Know This Much Is True" three times. Read more
Published 4 days ago by Cat Roaming
5.0 out of 5 stars Wally Lamb is a great read
I love Wally Lamb. This book kept me interested the whole time. I've read it twice. The author gets a little political but I just glossed past that because it isn't enough to... Read more
Published 23 days ago by Suzanne Root
2.0 out of 5 stars Not good
This book was long and boring at the end it was totally not was I expecting. Good thing the book was cheap
Published 1 month ago by Dana Woodbury
5.0 out of 5 stars Wally Lamb is the best! This is my favorite book by him
Wally Lamb is the best! This is my favorite book by him, probably because I liked the Colombine, CO storyline. He made me feel like I was there.
Published 1 month ago by Elizabeth
5.0 out of 5 stars Incredible book
Wally Lamb has become one of my favorite authors. He wove history into a modern-day tragic event in this book. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Patricia Taylor
3.0 out of 5 stars Slow at times
I absolutely loved I've Come Undone. I was less impressed with this book. I loved the main story line of the book, however, parts of it were long and unnecessary and I found myself... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Kindle Customer
3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
Enjoyed the beginning but am lost in the middle....way too long for me.
Published 1 month ago by Irene Billingsley
2.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing
Wally Lamb is my favorite author! I was disappointed in this book, however. He tried to weave in several stories into this novel and it did not work well. Read more
Published 2 months ago by SJHG
Search Customer Reviews
Search these reviews only

More About the Author

Wally Lamb's first two novels, She's Come Undone (Simon & Schuster/Pocket, 1992) and I Know This Much Is True (HarperCollins/ReganBooks, 1998), were # 1 New York Times bestsellers, New York Times Notable Books of the Year, and featured titles of Oprah's Book Club. I Know This Much Is True was a Book of the Month Club main selection and the June 1999 featured selection of the Bertelsman Book Club, the national book club of Germany. Between them, She's Come Undone and I Know This Much Is True have been translated into eighteen languages. Lamb is also the editor of the nonfiction anthologies Couldn't Keep It to Myself: Testimonies from Our Imprisoned Sisters (HarperCollins/ReganBooks, 2003) and I'll Fly Away (HarperCollins, 2007), collections of autobiographical essays which evolved from a writing workshop Lamb facilitates at Connecticut's York Correctional Institute, a maximum-security prison for women. He has served as a Connecticut Department of Corrections volunteer from 1999 to the present. Wally Lamb is a Connecticut native who holds Bachelors and Masters Degrees in teaching from the University of Connecticut and a Master of Fine Arts in Writing from Vermont College. Lamb was in the ninth year of his twenty-five-year career as a high school English teacher at his alma mater, the Norwich Free Academy, when he began to write fiction in 1981. He has also taught writing at the University of Connecticut, where he directed the English Department's creative writing program. Wally Lamb has said of his fiction, "Although my characters' lives don't much resemble my own, what we share is that we are imperfect people seeking to become better people. I write fiction so that I can move beyond the boundaries and limitations of my own experiences and better understand the lives of others. That's also why I teach. As challenging as it sometimes is to balance the two vocations, writing and teaching are, for me, intertwined." Honors for Wally Lamb include: the Connecticut Center for the Book's Lifetime Achievement Award, the Connecticut Bar Association's Distinguished Public Service Award, the Barnes & Noble Writers for Writers Award, the Connecticut Governor's Arts Award, The National Institute of Business/Apple Computers "Thanks to Teachers" Award. Lamb has received Distinguished Alumni awards from Vermont College and the University of Connecticut. He was the 1999 recipient of the New England Book Award for fiction. I Know This Much Is True won the Friends of the Library USA Readers' Choice Award for best novel of 1998, the result of a national poll, and the Kenneth Johnson Memorial Book Award, which honored the novel's contribution to the anti-stigmatization of mental illness. She's Come Undone was a 1992 "Top Ten" Book of the Year selection in People magazine and a finalist for the Los Angeles Times Book Award for Best First Novel of 1992. Wally Lamb's third novel, The Hour I First Believed, explores chaos theory by interfacing several generations of a fictional Connecticut family with such nonfictional American events as the Civil War, the Columbine High School shootings of 1999, the Iraq War, and Hurricane Katrina. The book will be published by HarperCollins in November of 2008.

What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?


Search Customer Discussions
Search all Amazon discussions

Topic From this Discussion
Your opinion of The Hour I First Believed
I look at this book as an quintessential American narrative... from the various marriage counseling scenes to cherubs& to pleasuring one self next to a box of Cheeze-It sitting on a recliner in front of a TV set. I recall so many things when I think of this book..unlike many of the... Read More
Dec 23, 2008 by Hina |  See all 50 posts
I've been waiting for years!!!
Me, too! I've been spending the last ten years since I Know This Much Is True trying to find another author who can move me as much as Wally Lamb did. But I just find myself going back and re-reading I Know... and She's Come Undone. Only six more months of waiting, Liv! I love the title... Read More
Apr 26, 2008 by Chiri Nagatsuka |  See all 37 posts
your opinion on Hallowed Moon By S.M.Nelson...
I really enjoyed the book. Ms. Nelson has a great imagination and I am looking forward to her next literary work. Keep them coming.
Mar 20, 2009 by M.M. Turgeon |  See all 11 posts
I'm looking for a great read too...please recommend....
Here are a list of my all-time favorites. Some are very well-known, though I still added them because of the affect they had on me.

Little Children by Tom Perrotta- is better than the movie (has many more details and insight into the thoughts of the characters,) though I thought the movie was... Read More
Nov 29, 2008 by Atr.eyu |  See all 46 posts
wally lamb lover!!!
i too love wally lamb and "i know this much is true" is probably my favorite book of all time, even though it seems silly to try and quantify such feelings. one of the fabulous things about this book was the unique
employment of a parallel story unfolding withing the main narrative. i... Read More
Jul 17, 2009 by Scott L. Wafrock |  See all 4 posts
Why is The Hour I First Believed no longer available on the KIndle? Be the first to reply
Start a new discussion
First post:
Prompts for sign-in