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The Hypochondriac's Guide to Life. And Death. Kindle Edition
|Length: 208 pages|
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More About the Author
Top Customer Reviews
According to Weingarten, all of these seemingly harmless activities can lead to our imminent demise, accompanied by horrible pain and distressing body noises.
For instance, the only place where we probably can't get cancer is the lens of our eye.
Then there is this really gross tumor called a "teratoma" that can have teeth and hair. If you ever bit the head off of one of those ugly little Smurf® dolls when you were a kid (or as part of a fraternity initiation rite when you were still a kid but had the body of an adult), then picture it as wandering to a sensitive portion of your anatomy and MUTATING!!!
Even the author had trouble finding anything humorous about cancer. He tried asking an oncologist, "So, Doctor, what's funny about cancer?"
"'Let's see,' [the oncologist] said. `Humor. OK, what is the difference between Sloan-Kettering and Shea Stadium?'
"Dunno, I said.
"'At Sloan-Kettering, the mets always win.'
"Ha ha, I said. What?
"'See, `mets' is an abbreviation for `metastasis,' which is a cancer that has spread systemically from one organ or system to another.'
"A desperate silence filled the room."
I suppose if I had to stagger off of this mortal coil, "beer potomania" wouldn't be such a bad way to go (compared to most of the other diseases in this book). People who drink in excess of eight quarts of beer per day can accumulate too much water in their blood (I guess the liver hogs all of the beer), which leads to confusion, lethargy, and death.Read more ›
I first read about Gene Weingarten in a Dave Barry column where dear Dave got a laser gun stuck in his eye (don't ask) where he called Gene to ask him what the drowsiness meant. Gene's eventual reply was that he needed a CAT scan and probably was going to die. This book pretty much sticks to that vein.
The book becomes slightly more serious near the end, where Gene recounts his diagnosis of Hepatitis C, as well as a visit to a friend with AIDS. But even these are leavened with humor, such as Weingarten's mental ramblings when his friend offers him a cookie: "This dying man is offering me nourishment! This is Saint Francis of Assisi!" (not a direct quote)
One warning: Do not read this book if you will afterward start anxiously looking up the symptoms of a twenty-foot-long tapeworm. You have been warned.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Just start reading the book preview to get an idea of how the entire book will read. Humor throughout.Published 2 months ago by robsbombs
A good light read from an author who clearly understands more than he lets on. I won't reveal too much of the book (especially the ending). Read morePublished 20 months ago by Dan
This book was marketed as a funny book about sicknesses and the author's experience thinking he had every disease in the world. Read morePublished on June 4, 2013 by iluvmypenguin
This should have been , and with minimal further effort could have been , a WHOLE lot better. A lot funnier . Read morePublished on May 2, 2013 by Martina Dinale
Combine Hiaasen and Dave Barry and you get this lunatic effort. Every page will give you a laugh and a recognition of your foibles or a friend'sPublished on April 2, 2013 by John O. Oconnor
This will be for my Uncle for Christmas and he will love it. I'm positive he will. Who wouldn't? If he doesn't there's something wrong with him and then I'LL use this book to... Read morePublished on June 24, 2011 by Lauren
I bought this book based on the reviews and even though I expected it to be funny, I was hoping that it would also be helpful--not happening! Read morePublished on November 4, 2010 by Lori V.
One of the funniest books I've read, even for a bit of a hypochondriac like myself. FULL of the most fear-inducing information that one shouldn't take on board- like the chapter on... Read morePublished on February 12, 2008 by N. J. Wilson
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