The Infertility Companion for Catholics: Spiritual and Practical Support for Couples [Paperback]

Carmen Santamaria (Author), Angelique Ruhi-Lopez (Author), John Grabowski (Foreword), Claire Grabowski (Foreword)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 16, 2012

One in every six United States couples experiences infertility but Catholic couples face additional confusion, worry, and frustration as they explore the medical options available to them. Filling a major void in Catholic resources, The Infertility Companion for Catholics describes the Church's teaching on reproductive technologies and provides a rich spiritual perspective on the emotions and faith involved in embracing the cross of infertility. The authors both experienced periods of being unable to conceive and they walk in solidarity with readers, compassionately coaching them through the challenging landscape of infertility.

• Includes a variety of spiritual resources: prayers, devotions,wisdom of the saints
• Chapter designed for friends and family of infertile couples, with tips on how to relate to the couple with compassion and sensitivity
• Appendixes include suggested further reading, reference materials, Catholic documents, and Catholic blogs about infertility

Editorial Reviews

Review

"This well-written, well-researched resource is a much-needed gift to Catholic couples struggling with infertility. The authors address all of the major issues faced by Catholic couples who have difficulty conceiving, offering hope, encouragement and practical guidance. Well-written, thorough, and highly recommended."--Dr. Anne Nolte, MD, Co-Founder and Director, National Gianna Center for Women's Health and Infertility, New York, NY

"Though a clear exposition of the science, morality, Church teaching, and theology [of infertility], this is no dry treatise. Though chock-full of genuine, raw testimonies, this is no sanitized morality tale. The authors' humility, faithfulness, and obedience--tested by the unique pain of infertility--has borne abundant fruit here for the faithful."--Damon Clarke Owens, President, New Jersey Natural Family Planning

"A river of healing waters for the hearts of those walking the journey of infertility, and a comprehensive, yet succinct guide for family life ministers committed to accompanying them."--Lucia Baez Luzondo, Director of Family Life, Archdiocese of Miami

"A sensitive, thought-provoking reflection on the effect of infertility in the lives of couples who experience it. It is a beautiful blend of Church teaching, spirituality, and personal testimony. A must-read for couples having difficulty conceiving and for those who love them!" --Steven Bozza, Director, Respect Life Office, Archdiocese of Philadelphia

"This personal witness of two couples' faith journey struggling with infertility is uplifting and refreshing. This labor of love is also extremely well researched and solidly within the teaching of the Catholic Church. Highly recommended!" --Rev. Alfred Cioffi, Senior Fellow, National Catholic Bioethics Center

About the Author

Angelique Ruhi-Lopez has been married to her husband Richard since 2003. They experienced infertility for one year before deciding to adopt their first child, Emmanuel, from Vietnam. They also have three biological children, Sebastian, Madeleine, and Anabella. Ruhi-Lopez holds a master's degree in theology from Boston College. She served as an award-winning staff writer at La Voz Catolica, the Spanish-language newspaper of the Archdiocese of Miami. Ruhi-Lopez is a freelance writer for The Florida Catholic, and a blogger and web editor for the Archdiocese of Miami.


Carmen Santamaria has been married to Alex since 2001. They have two biological children, Monica and Antonio Javier, and two adopted children, Victoria and Daniel. They experienced more than three years of secondary infertility following the birth of their second child and continue to face this challenge. Santamaria received a master's degree in business administration and a juris doctor from the University of Miami where she served as executive editor of the International and Comparative Law Review. She is an attorney and edits for the Association of Corporate Counsel.

Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Ave Maria Press (April 16, 2012)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1594712891
• ISBN-13: 978-1594712890
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #434,955 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Great Job of Covering the Biological and the Spiritual July 6, 2012

By ruthjoec

Format:Paperback

I found this one on NetGalley. It appears that Ave Maria Press has become one of their customers, so I decided to have a look-see. Thank God infertility has not been a cross I have had to bear, but I have a lot of friends who have suffered from secondary infertility and my son's Godparents were never able to have a baby. They are devout Catholics who wanted to follow the Church's teachings. They knew IVF was immoral, but when they went to talk to their pastor about adoption, they learned that, at least in his opinion, at least one of the procedures they did was against Church teachings. I have other friends who rejected the same procedure-a procedure our diocesan paper specifically said was licit. Clearly, there is a need for a resource that not only gives the Church's "ruling"on various procedures, but also explains the reasoning behind those rulings so that when faced with decisions about unknown procedures, couples will have the information needed to evaluate them.

The authors of this book have walked the walk. They have tried to get pregnant and failed. They have been poked, prodded,injected, examined and pumped full of medications. They have spent lots of money. They have had doctors and others consider them to be overly religious when they refused treatments on moral grounds. I think it gives the book a credibility that books by celibate theologians lack--yes, the theologians may have the right answers but they haven't been there, done that.

The book is filled with information that would be useful to any couple, Catholic or not, beginning the journey of treating infertility. It describes many of the common problems, tests and treatments. It also describes NaPro Technology, though I would have liked to have learned more about it. Nutritional support for fertility is briefly discussed as well. It looks at both moral and immoral fertility treatments and talks about why each is in the category it is. Procedures with debated morality, specifically GIFT and embryo adoption are also mentioned, along with the fact that their morality has not been definitively established.

I'd recommend the book to couples solely on the basis of the scientific information, but besides the fact that it looks at the morality of various procedures, the other thing that makes this book Catholic is that it offers spiritual support to couples. Each chapter ends with a prayer and the spiritual aspects of suffering, of wanting, and of discernment are given a lot of attention. The importance of couple prayer is stressed, and a method of discerning God's will as a couple is given.

Each chapter has a bibliography for additional reading and links to blogs and internet forums for infertile Catholics are given.

In short, if you are looking for support on the painful walk to the Calvary that is infertility, I think this book will be helpful. Grade: A.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars A new perspective April 28, 2012

By Anonymous

Format:Paperback

Highly recommend. The authors share their journeys with infertility and tell a very personal and honest story. A great resource for Catholics that includes prayers, Ignatian spirituality, and references to other books, blogs and websites about infertility. There is so much information here that can benefit someone just starting to deal with this issue as well as someone who has read everything else and is looking for a new perspective. I would also recommend this book to a friend or family member who wants to understand and learn how to be supportive.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Go-to guide for Catholics struggling with infertility April 24, 2012

By Brandon Vogt TOP 1000 REVIEWER

Format:Paperback

Chances are, you are someone you know struggles with infertility. After all, about one in six American couples do. This silent cross is often wrought with confusion, depression, and spiritual darkness, which push many couples toward alternatives like in vitro fertilization or surrogate parenthood.

Until now, there hasn't been a one-stop guide for Catholic couples facing these difficulties. But two Catholic women, who have each experienced infertility, have produced a new book titled The Infertility Companion for Catholics: Spiritual and Practical Support for Couples (Ave Maria Press, paperback, 256 pages). Angelique Ruhi-Lopez and Carmen Santamaria have created the go-to guide for Catholics experiencing infertility and their book fills a great need.

The Infertility Companion is primarily designed for couples struggling with infertility, yet there's something for everyone. While my wife and I haven't faced this ourselves, we know several couples that have. Being compassionate in those situations can be hard as I'm often left wondering what to say or how to help. So I was thrilled to find a chapter in this book on how family and friends can help couples with this burden. The authors provide concrete suggestions, including things you should never say to struggling couples and tips on how to act with compassion.

The Infertility Companion also probes the moral ramifications of different reproductive technologies such as fertility treatments, artificial insemination, and in vitro fertilization. Both authors admit the strong temptation to take the "easy way out," to use reproductive technology that seem morally neutral at first glance. But like the Church, they encourage couples to explore more deeply solutions that maintain dignity and jive with natural law. Most people will be surprised to learn that the Catholic Church doesn't offer a blanket "no" to all reproductive technologies. In fact the authors cover seven different technologies that are morally acceptable for Catholics.

The book also beautifully explores the pain and emotions of infertility, especially from a spiritual perspective. The authors show how even though infertility can be a "cross," it can actually help you grow closer to God and provide deeper meaning and purpose.

The Infertility Companion closes with a robust Appendix full of resources. You'll find local Catholic ethicists, medical and mental health referrals, and a clear glossary of terms and procedures related to infertility.

With raving endorsements from moms, theologians, pro-life activists, and even a senior researcher at the National Catholic Bioethics Center, this book should be the first choice for those dealing with infertility and a helpful guide for their family and friends.