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The Intentional Family: Simple Rituals to Strengthen Family Ties [Paperback]

William J. Doherty
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)

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Book Description

October 1, 1999
Today's family is in crisis. Many diverse factors have combined to weaken its structure in American society: the conflicting needs and schedules of dual working parents; the ongoing fragmentation of our civic, cultural, and religious communities; the prevalence of divorce and remarriage; the advent of technological distractions like video games and computers. What was once a strong, cohesive unit has become, in many cases, no more than a loose grouping of individuals with individual timetables and agendas. However, now more that ever before, we have the freedom to shape the kind of family we want, rather that an obligation to conform to inflexible concepts of what a family should be.

Nationally respected family therapist William J. Doherty believes that we can strengthen the ties that bind us together-and create new, more permanent ones in the process-through the use of family-specific everyday rituals. The Intentional Family -- a practical guide to avoiding conflicts and promoting understanding -- offers a myriad of simple yet effective methods for opening regular channels of communication between parents and their children, husbands and wives: from shared family meals and vacations, to regular "storytime," weekly drives, religious services, and monthly "spouse only" romantic dinners. Clearly presented and engagingly written, here are proven and indispensable strategies for reviving a lost sense of family -- useful guidelines that will help us make the most of our most important relationships.


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Editorial Reviews

Review

"A family, like a canoe, must be steered or paddled, or it won't take you where you want to go." -- William J. Doherty

"A home improvement manual for the modern family. The advice will build strong and loving families." -- Mary Pipher, bestselling author of Reviving Ophelia

"Wise and compassionate, The Intentional Family is a 'user's guide' to building satisfying and lasting family ties. It belongs on every family's bookshelf." -- Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, author of The Divorce Culture

"A family, like a canoe, must be steered or paddled, or it won't take you where you want to go." -- -- William J. Doherty

"A home improvement manual for the modern family. The advice will build strong and loving families." -- -- Mary Pipher, bestselling author of Reviving Ophelia

"Sensible well-written Doherty offers up actual tips that will help families connect." -- USA Today

About the Author

William J. Doherty, Ph.D., is one of the leading family therapists in the country. He is a practicing therapist and Director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at the University of Minnesota. He lives in St. Paul, Minnesota.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks; 1 edition (October 1, 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 038073205X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0380732050
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #332,788 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
28 of 29 people found the following review helpful
This is one of those rare psychology books related to family life that is eminently practical as well as theoretical. Dr. William Doherty does a fantastic job of blending a fairly simple, almost obvious, psychological concepts with ideas and suggestions you can actually use immediately in your daily life. I was never submerged in theory but had enough to appreciate the thought behind the suggestions. I was both inspired and challenged by what I read. If you work with or care about families and children I recommend you read this book. Thoughtful readers will be changed by what they read.
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21 of 22 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great text for designing couple and family practices November 17, 1999
William Doherty provides an opportunity to reflect on the state of your relationship with your spouse and your children and he provides ideas to bring the family together. He is non-judgemental in his approach and is not an idealist, rather, he knows that people are busy and that it takes work (and some failure) to produce a family of meaning, love and togetherness. We have found this to be a very useful text for conversations with each other and with other couples.
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20 of 22 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Essential information! December 6, 1999
I read this book when it first came out in hard cover. Since then I have used it as a text book in a family resource management class I teach at a university (because family resources are not limited to money and "things").

Doherty has done a super job of translating what he knows as a family professional to the language of typical readers interested in improving family life. I believe every family should read this to reinforce the notion that material possessions don't make a great family. Actively attending to interpersonal relationships is the key to family success!

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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Good Book
Very insightful. It gives a new perspective on being happy and what happiness really means. And just what truly does make you happy; some things were a duh. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Rach
5.0 out of 5 stars College book great!
Bought this book for a class I took on campus and did not want to pay the extreme price on campus. Found it on here for a 1/3 of the cost and it was the extact same book it was... Read more
Published 16 months ago by kek5116
5.0 out of 5 stars I wish my parents had read this book
It's not kidding when it says the rituals are simple. However, when it comes to protecting stability and building relationships--mostly during activities you're likely already... Read more
Published on January 28, 2011 by Roe
5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Book to Keep Around
I got this book as a present around the time I got pregnant with my first child. Every few years I read it again, and there isn't anything earth-shattering about it, but it has... Read more
Published on October 25, 2010 by SubversiveMama
5.0 out of 5 stars Interesting and Practical
I was assigned this book for an outdoor recreation class. "The family that plays together, stays together. Read more
Published on February 26, 2009 by K. Hecht
2.0 out of 5 stars what's the hype about?
I seriously got next to nothing out of this book. I did realize that we are already an intentional family, which is why i gave this book 2 stars instead of one. Read more
Published on July 25, 2008 by Dan and Rachel
1.0 out of 5 stars Worthless -- not helpful to me at all
We just adopted a 12 year old girl and I was looking for additional activities/rituals to strengthen our family ties. This book sure didn't help. Read more
Published on December 24, 2005 by J. Yost
4.0 out of 5 stars A different perspective
I like Doherety because he seems to write about things we all should know about marriage and family but have forgotten or been lulled to sleep by our fast paced commercial life... Read more
Published on June 21, 2003 by Dr. John Laughlin
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