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on January 8, 2011
My understanding was that Gurian was a scientist. If anything, I was expecting this book to be too dry and academic. Turns out this particular book, at least, revolves mostly around mythology and ritual... think Campbell or Bly... very Mens Movement, not very substantive. For me, the book suffers from "It's true because I say it's true" syndrome. For Gurian, and presumably the mens groups he leads, I'm sure it is true; he seems to write from the heart. But I question how universal his truths are. They certainly don't resonate for me, even though I'm trying to stick it out and glean what nuggets I can. (I'm a little over halfway through the book.) Gurian's primary premise is that men in our society don't take responsibility for initiating boys into manhood, and hence they never quite BECOME men. They continue to "see themselves in their mothers' mirrors" instead of, presumably, receiving access to the tribe's Man Mirror. Can you tell I'm less than convinced? Gurian's books are fairly popular, so probably either this book is an outlyer or I am. I'll let others post their own reactions. But I personally feel there are more insightful books on the topic of how mothers influence their sons' lives and relationships.
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on July 18, 2014
I thought this would be an interesting read because my son goes to a school based on the Gurian method. After reading this book, I'm questioning the wisdom of choosing to do anything on the advice of a man that obviously has huge issues with women. I read this book with a group of mom and everyone felt the same way.
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on November 28, 2014
This is not a book to read. It is a program of personal transformation that takes about a year. A man needs more than just the book to undertake this effort: Companions, spiritual guidance, and willingness to put in sustained effort. If you don't have all three of these, the first chapter has some cools stories you might like, but the remainder will not be accessible.

Not recommended for weaklings.
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on February 12, 2013
It seems there is no end of how-to books. Gurian's book has too much of Joseph Campbell's approach, and then too much like a how to do it textbook. It does not deal with specific difficulties of interpersonal dynamics between mothers and sons.
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on October 31, 2013
I came to this after grown son stopped speaking to me. It helped when heart was broken. I can't redo it but now it is a more bearable and less frequent sadness.
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on November 27, 2014
A read for all men and women
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on January 5, 2013
and how they affect both men and women. Not just for men, Gurian's story is first, about himself,
but the sorrows spread out and can guide all of us, even in retrospect.
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