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The 11 Laws of Likability: Relationship Networking . . . Because People Do Business with People They Like Kindle Edition

4.6 out of 5 stars 65 customer reviews

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Length: 241 pages

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Editorial Reviews


“…show readers how to identify what’s likable in themselves and create honest, authentic interactions that become ‘wins’ for all parties involved.” --Foreword This Week

“…basic drivers of likability are the same for most of us…11 Laws of Likability has summarized these nicely…How high would you score on the likability scale?” --Martin Zwilling,

"...not just for people to grow and establish entrepreneur relationship, but also for the jobseeker who struggles with connecting with employers...I highly recommend to buy her book." --The Voice of Job Seekers

“This book is a fit for just about any B2B setting you can think of. Who doesn’t want to be perceived as likable.”

"Lederman outlines some ways to bolster your self-image and help you project an authentic image that will attract others and help lead you to the success you desire."

“Read the essential and timeless wisdom filled book… Liking others, and having them also like you, transforms business into pleasurable personal relationships that benefit everyone.” --Blog Business World

"…a superb addition to your personal library and it would also make a great gift." --Kennedy Reviews

"While valuable in business situations, the wisdom which the book contains can be applied to any’s upbeat, supportive, and full of good advice." --Anna Jedrziewski, Retailing Insight

“This book is recommended for professionals who struggle with or dislike networking. A great resource to read and reread." -- Genealogist Quarterly

Book Description

We all know that networking is important, and that forming relationships with others is a vital part of success. But sometimes it seems like networking removes all emotions from the equation and focuses only on immediate goals…whereas the kind of relationships that have true staying power, give us joy, and support us in the long run are founded on simply liking each other.

This book, featuring activities, self-assessment quizzes, and real-life anecdotes from professional and social settings, shows readers how to identify what’s likable in themselves and create honest, authentic interactions that become “wins” for all parties involved. Readers will discover how to:

• Start conversations and keep them going with ease

• Convert acquaintances into friends

• Uncover people’s preferences and tweak their own personal style to enable engaging, reciprocal interactions

• Create follow-up and stay in others’ minds long after the initial meeting

The worst thing we can do when trying to establish a personal bond with someone is to come across as manipulative or self-serving. Authentic connections go much deeper—and feel much easier—than trying to hit self-imposed business card collection quotas. This book presents a new paradigm that shows how even the most networking-averse can network…and like it.

Product Details

  • File Size: 339 KB
  • Print Length: 241 pages
  • Publisher: AMACOM; 1 edition (September 15, 2011)
  • Publication Date: September 15, 2011
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005M0IA00
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #262,260 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

Michelle Tillis Lederman, CPA, MBA, ACC

Michelle Tillis Lederman, CPA, MBA, ACC, author of The 11 Laws of Likability (AMACOM), is the founder of Executive Essentials, a training company that provides communications, leadership, and team-building programs, as well as executive coaching services. Michelle believes real relationships lead to real results and specializes in teaching people how to communicate to connect. She has delivered seminars internationally for fortune 500 companies, universities, high schools, and non profit organizations including; JPMorgan Chase, Morgan Stanley, Citibank, Deutsche Bank, Columbia Business School, Jazz at Lincoln Center, and The Museum of Modern Art. Michelle is an Adjunct Professor at NYU's Stern School of Business and serves on the faculty of the American Management Association. Michelle has appeared on Fox 5's Good Day NY, been published in Women For Hire, and quoted in the New York Times, The Star Ledger, Working Mother magazine, Real Simple magazine, US News & World Report, on, and among others.

Michelle spent ten years in finance beginning her career as a Certified Public Accountant in Arthur Andersen's audit practice, later joining Primedia as a mergers & acquisitions analyst. Her experience ranges from venture capital to hedge funds and includes positions as a financial strategist with Deloitte Consulting, a hedge fund investment adviser for HypoVereins Bank, and a director of communications at Investor Analytics, an alternative asset risk management firm.

Michelle is involved in extensive volunteer and community advocacy. She has developed a youth curriculum called Leadership Essentials which provides workshop and assembly programs. Having already reached over 1,000 teens, it is her mission to bring these critical communication and life skills to high school students to increase their likelihood of success. As an animal advocate, she has organized multiple benefits to raise awareness and donations for domestic and exotic animal rescue.

She received her BS, Summa Cum Laude, in Accounting and Communications from Lehigh University, her MBA, with honors, from Columbia Business School, and her coaching certification from the Institute for Professional Empowerment Coaching and is accredited by the International Coaching Federation. Michelle is certified in numerous assessment tools including Myers Briggs (MBTI), Lominger Voices 360, Whole Brain (NBI), Social Styles, Thomas Kikman (TKI), and Insights Inventory. Michelle is a member of the National Speakers Association and Executive Essentials is a certified Women Business Enterprise.

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
Michelle Tillis Lederman, the author of The 11 Laws of Likability, is the founder of Executive Essentials, a company that provides executive coaching among other services. Lederman writes this book out of a stunning realization she had -- wanting to be liked is a good thing. In fact, Lederman argues that networking is nothing more than being your authentic, likable self.

One of the strongest chapters in this book focused on likability in conversation, and it dealt with details like body language, curiosity, and open-ended questions. I particularly like Lederman's suggestion that we ask "How come?" instead of "Why?" because the latter automatically puts the listener on the defensive.

I appreciated how well Lederman mixed suggestion and story, teaching and illustrating. The interspersed stories were great for sparking thought and reflecting on how each chapter applies to my own life. The book is helpful for giving the reader a mental framework in which to understand networking, but it is weaker when providing specific suggestions for how to network.

I thought the chapter on the four personality types fell flat. There are already a host of personality tests, familiar to most, but the author chose to label people Straight Lines, Circles, Zig Zags, and Angles. I struggled to remember which was which, and I wish the author had stuck to a more popular system -- like the Myers-Briggs categories.

There is also a lengthy section defining terms used on various websites, including Facebook and Twitter. While those definitions might help some older readers, I found them self-evident and unnecessary.

I recommend this book particularly to introverts who wish networking came more naturally to them.
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Format: Paperback
Seeing the title of this book, I did wonder if it would be a manipulative, "Get people to like you so they buy what you're selling". Instead, the focus is on building genuine relationships with people. Traditional networking is exhausting if it's not authentic and people probably won't do business with people they don't like or who are not genuine. Lederman addressees these ideas in "The 11 Laws of Likability".

Building relationships should not be about the transactional - "what can I get"? - but rather should be about forming real, meaningful connections. If these connections are built authentically, then yes, down the road, you may find a way to help each other. It's important though to focus on the connections you want to have, rather than connections you feel you should have. Not only is constantly operating on the "should" a tiring way to live your life, but you're also spending time with people you may not like! Why waste your time?

Instead, keep your ears open for ways you can help people and make a point to listen to others so you can see if there's a possibility for a connection based on similarities. Also, think more about the way you portray yourself to others. Do you focus on the negative? Is your talk self-centered? Don't be afraid to promote yourself, but make sure it's not always and only about you. If you don't like the way you're acting, others probably won't either!

At first glance, the points in the book may seem obvious to some, but they offer a good message about being yourself and not trying to be something you're not.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
The 11 Laws of Likability is one of several books I've recently read on the topic of networking. What I especially liked about this book is that it extends the context and concept of relationship networking beyond the conversation itself. The three parts of the book form a framework that organizes the 11 Laws of Likability into three categories: Part A: Before the Conversation (Get Real); Part B: The Conversation (Always Have It); and Part C: After the Conversation (Build Relationship). "Relationship Networking" is a great term that distinguishes itself from "Transactional Networking" and "Connectional Networking" as something that is a long-term process or investment as opposed to a short term event or gain. I like how the 11 Laws are all connected, interrelated, and interdependent as opposed to a random collection of independent laws.

The stories, chapter summaries, and "Living the Law" tips allow the reader to devise a personal development program that converts the laws into habits of mind and practice. My favorite of the 11 Laws is "The Law of Energy" because it reminded me that energy is contagious and comes in two flavors: positive and negative, which can influence my interactions with others for better or for worse. The author states: "During any interaction, each person involved transmits energy that affects the dynamic of that relationship." Monitoring, acknowledging, and shifting my energy levels relative to that of others as the author suggests is a simple and useful strategy that I will endeavor to develop as a habit. I found the new term "Energy Knowledge" to be an interesting and useful concept to add to my, well, knowledge. I consider the Law of Energy as a Fundamental Law of Personal Dynamics that fuels all the other 10 Laws of Likability.
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