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The 11 Laws of Likability: Relationship Networking . . . Because People Do Business with People They Like [Paperback]

Michelle Tillis Lederman
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)

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Book Description

September 15, 2011
We all know that networking is important, and that forming relationships with others is a vital part of success. But sometimes it seems like networking removes all emotions from the equation and focuses only on immediate goals...whereas the kind of relationships that have true staying power, give us joy, and support us in the long run are founded on simply liking each other. This book, featuring activities, self-assessment quizzes, and real-life anecdotes from professional and social settings, shows readers how to identify what's likable in themselves and create honest, authentic interactions that become "wins" for all parties involved. Readers will discover how to: start conversations and keep them going with ease; convert acquaintances into friends; uncover people's preferences and tweak their own personal style to enable engaging, reciprocal interactions; and, create follow-up and stay in others' minds long after the initial meeting. The worst thing we can do when trying to establish a personal bond with someone is to come across as manipulative or self-serving. Authentic connections go much deeper-and feel much easier-than trying to hit self-imposed business card collection quotas. This book presents a new paradigm that shows how even the most networking-averse can network...and like it.

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The 11 Laws of Likability: Relationship Networking . . . Because People Do Business with People They Like + The Likeability Factor: How to Boost Your L-Factor and Achieve Your Life's Dreams
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“…show readers how to identify what’s likable in themselves and create honest, authentic interactions that become ‘wins’ for all parties involved.”—Foreword This Week



“…basic drivers of likability are the same for most of us…11 Laws of Likability has summarized these nicely…How high would you score on the likability scale?” —Forbes.com, Martin Zwilling



"...not just for people to grow and establish entrepreneur relationship, but also for the jobseeker who struggles with connecting with employers...I highly recommend to buy her book." --The Voice of Job Seekers



“This book is a fit for just about any B2B setting you can think of. Who doesn’t want to be perceived as likable.” —blogcritics.org



"Lederman outlines some ways to bolster your self-image and help you project an authentic image that will attract others and help lead you to the success you desire."--USAToday.com



“Read the essential and timeless wisdom filled book… Liking others, and having them also like you, transforms business into pleasurable personal relationships that benefit everyone.” — Blog Business World



"…a superb addition to your personal library and it would also make a great gift." --Kennedy Reviews



"While valuable in business situations, the wisdom which the book contains can be applied to any relationship...it’s upbeat, supportive, and full of good advice." --Anna Jedrziewski, Retailing Insight

Book Description

We all know that networking is important, and that forming relationships with others is a vital part of success. But sometimes it seems like networking removes all emotions from the equation and focuses only on immediate goals…whereas the kind of relationships that have true staying power, give us joy, and support us in the long run are founded on simply liking each other.

This book, featuring activities, self-assessment quizzes, and real-life anecdotes from professional and social settings, shows readers how to identify what’s likable in themselves and create honest, authentic interactions that become “wins” for all parties involved. Readers will discover how to:

• Start conversations and keep them going with ease

• Convert acquaintances into friends

• Uncover people’s preferences and tweak their own personal style to enable engaging, reciprocal interactions

• Create follow-up and stay in others’ minds long after the initial meeting

The worst thing we can do when trying to establish a personal bond with someone is to come across as manipulative or self-serving. Authentic connections go much deeper—and feel much easier—than trying to hit self-imposed business card collection quotas. This book presents a new paradigm that shows how even the most networking-averse can network…and like it.


Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: AMACOM (September 15, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0814416373
  • ISBN-13: 978-0814416372
  • Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 0.6 x 9.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #113,382 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Michelle Tillis Lederman, CPA, MBA, ACC

http://www.facebook.com/MichelleTillisLederman

Michelle Tillis Lederman, CPA, MBA, ACC, author of The 11 Laws of Likability (AMACOM), is the founder of Executive Essentials, a training company that provides communications, leadership, and team-building programs, as well as executive coaching services. Michelle believes real relationships lead to real results and specializes in teaching people how to communicate to connect. She has delivered seminars internationally for fortune 500 companies, universities, high schools, and non profit organizations including; JPMorgan Chase, Morgan Stanley, Citibank, Deutsche Bank, Columbia Business School, Jazz at Lincoln Center, and The Museum of Modern Art. Michelle is an Adjunct Professor at NYU's Stern School of Business and serves on the faculty of the American Management Association. Michelle has appeared on Fox 5's Good Day NY, been published in Women For Hire, and quoted in the New York Times, The Star Ledger, Working Mother magazine, Real Simple magazine, US News & World Report, on MSNBC.com, and Monster.com among others.

Michelle spent ten years in finance beginning her career as a Certified Public Accountant in Arthur Andersen's audit practice, later joining Primedia as a mergers & acquisitions analyst. Her experience ranges from venture capital to hedge funds and includes positions as a financial strategist with Deloitte Consulting, a hedge fund investment adviser for HypoVereins Bank, and a director of communications at Investor Analytics, an alternative asset risk management firm.

Michelle is involved in extensive volunteer and community advocacy. She has developed a youth curriculum called Leadership Essentials which provides workshop and assembly programs. Having already reached over 1,000 teens, it is her mission to bring these critical communication and life skills to high school students to increase their likelihood of success. As an animal advocate, she has organized multiple benefits to raise awareness and donations for domestic and exotic animal rescue.

She received her BS, Summa Cum Laude, in Accounting and Communications from Lehigh University, her MBA, with honors, from Columbia Business School, and her coaching certification from the Institute for Professional Empowerment Coaching and is accredited by the International Coaching Federation. Michelle is certified in numerous assessment tools including Myers Briggs (MBTI), Lominger Voices 360, Whole Brain (NBI), Social Styles, Thomas Kikman (TKI), and Insights Inventory. Michelle is a member of the National Speakers Association and Executive Essentials is a certified Women Business Enterprise.



Customer Reviews

This is an insightful and practical book. Becky Sheetz-Runkle  |  13 reviewers made a similar statement
I recommend this book to anyone and everyone looking to get ahead at work (and in life). Jodi Glickman  |  5 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A Helpful Framework January 22, 2012
Format:Paperback
Michelle Tillis Lederman, the author of The 11 Laws of Likability, is the founder of Executive Essentials, a company that provides executive coaching among other services. Lederman writes this book out of a stunning realization she had -- wanting to be liked is a good thing. In fact, Lederman argues that networking is nothing more than being your authentic, likable self.

One of the strongest chapters in this book focused on likability in conversation, and it dealt with details like body language, curiosity, and open-ended questions. I particularly like Lederman's suggestion that we ask "How come?" instead of "Why?" because the latter automatically puts the listener on the defensive.

I appreciated how well Lederman mixed suggestion and story, teaching and illustrating. The interspersed stories were great for sparking thought and reflecting on how each chapter applies to my own life. The book is helpful for giving the reader a mental framework in which to understand networking, but it is weaker when providing specific suggestions for how to network.

I thought the chapter on the four personality types fell flat. There are already a host of personality tests, familiar to most, but the author chose to label people Straight Lines, Circles, Zig Zags, and Angles. I struggled to remember which was which, and I wish the author had stuck to a more popular system -- like the Myers-Briggs categories.

There is also a lengthy section defining terms used on various websites, including Facebook and Twitter. While those definitions might help some older readers, I found them self-evident and unnecessary.

I recommend this book particularly to introverts who wish networking came more naturally to them. This book provides a new understanding and new suggestions that are particularly helpful to those who fear networking, and it will be a great resource. Lederman's contribution to this genre is her focus on likability and building relationships, pulling networking away from its sterotypically mercenary connotation.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars It's about being real September 27, 2011
By Tina
Format:Paperback
Seeing the title of this book, I did wonder if it would be a manipulative, "Get people to like you so they buy what you're selling". Instead, the focus is on building genuine relationships with people. Traditional networking is exhausting if it's not authentic and people probably won't do business with people they don't like or who are not genuine. Lederman addressees these ideas in "The 11 Laws of Likability".

Building relationships should not be about the transactional - "what can I get"? - but rather should be about forming real, meaningful connections. If these connections are built authentically, then yes, down the road, you may find a way to help each other. It's important though to focus on the connections you want to have, rather than connections you feel you should have. Not only is constantly operating on the "should" a tiring way to live your life, but you're also spending time with people you may not like! Why waste your time?

Instead, keep your ears open for ways you can help people and make a point to listen to others so you can see if there's a possibility for a connection based on similarities. Also, think more about the way you portray yourself to others. Do you focus on the negative? Is your talk self-centered? Don't be afraid to promote yourself, but make sure it's not always and only about you. If you don't like the way you're acting, others probably won't either!

At first glance, the points in the book may seem obvious to some, but they offer a good message about being yourself and not trying to be something you're not. This book would be extremely helpful to people new to the workforce or even those who have been working for a while, but haven't ventured outside a tight network, since it offers tips to keep a conversation going with someone new. Lederman also offers thought-provoking questions so the reader can evaluate him or herself.

Life is short. Do your best, look for opportunities that seem right to you, and just accept that you won't instantly connect with everyone you meet. But don't give up. There are lots of people out there who are also looking to make genuine connections and this book will move you in the right direction.

Disclaimer: I received this book for free from FSB Associates.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Resource for Work and Life August 22, 2011
Format:Paperback
There are a number of components of a complete education which are not
covered in traditional business school classes. The most successful
graduates are those who have learned the art of Networking. The basics of
that art are clearly and intelligently stated in these pages. This book is
more than a guide to business networking. It can easily serve as a guide to
success in both work and life.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars People REALLY DO do business wtih people they like: are you operating...
`The Law of Likability' is a must read. I highlighted countless nuggets of wisdom and universal truths which continue to resonate. Read more
Published 16 days ago by ScoutTalent
5.0 out of 5 stars Powerful Ideas, Stories, and Practices
Loved the way the book was organized into "laws", the conversational writing style, stories, and practices. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Paula
4.0 out of 5 stars Nice quick read
Good food for thought on networking and making acquaintances with human capital for a new career or to build a current career.
Published 2 months ago by Linda Schwab
5.0 out of 5 stars Good info to be practiced in life
The author has identified a problem with the concept of networking where people just want to meet others for their own needs or mutual benefits. Read more
Published 6 months ago by SKS
5.0 out of 5 stars 11 Laws of Likability
I read The 11 Laws of Likability at a time of professional transition and it couldn't have been a more opportune time. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Kim M.
2.0 out of 5 stars Pass on this one
This review is specifically for the audio-book version, although it may apply to the printed book as well.

This book committed an offense that is a pet peeve of mine. Read more
Published 7 months ago by John Flynn
5.0 out of 5 stars The 11 "Likable" Laws of Likability
The 11 Laws of Likability is one of several books I've recently read on the topic of networking. What I especially liked about this book is that it extends the context and concept... Read more
Published 7 months ago by LaVerne Shuler
5.0 out of 5 stars It is not only for introverts
My wife gave me this book after she had read it and further enhanced its design by her 'highlighter' artistry and insightful notes in the margins. I thought: "Why me? Read more
Published 10 months ago by Dean D
5.0 out of 5 stars Ms. Lederman's book is fabulous
Ms. Lederman's book is fabulous. EVERY MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD OUGHT TO READ THIS BOOK. I like myself but this book has given me the added dose of confidence to try and to succeed in... Read more
Published 11 months ago by Merwyn D'cruz
5.0 out of 5 stars Doing Business with People you like
DOING BUSINESS WITH PEOPLE YOU LIKE!
From: Dan Beaulieu
The 11 Laws of Likability: Relationship Networking Because People do Business with People they like
By... Read more
Published 11 months ago by Daniel B. Beaulieu
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