Customer Reviews

The Long Journey Home

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(12)
3 star:		(13)
2 star:		(9)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

Given that her two sons have published memoirs of this famously dysfunctional family (Augusten Burroughs in "Running with Scissors" and others, and John Elder Robison in "Look Me in the Eye"), Margaret Robison's new memoir arrives with both a unique opportunity and a liability. The opportunity is an audience for her work. The liability is that much of the story has been told, albeit from her sons' perspectives. Robison writes that she was shocked and heartbroken over the "fiction" she says her son Chris (who changed his name to Augusten Burroughs) wrote about her. While struggling mightily to acknowledge his talents, the hope his writing has provided to others, and her love for him, it appears that the damage of airing so much family pathology has largely ended her relationship with him. Perhaps those who wish to write memoirs should take heed.

Reading a memoir of madness (the kind where someone is psychotic or morbidly depressed and locked down in a mental institution) raises certain compelling questions. What contributes to such breakdowns and what kind of life can those with chronic mental illness expect?

Growing up in south Georgia in the 1940's, Robison attempted to lead a conventional life of meeting the expectations of a distant, repressed mother and a depressed, alcoholic father. She also battled the shame of a growing but unspeakable (in the context of her family and times) same-sex attraction.

But more than the family baggage, Robison's descent into madness and dysfunction seemed to pivot on her tragic need to give herself over to beguiling mad men, first to her husband, John, an abusive alcholoic who later became a professor of philosophy, and then to a predatory crackpot psychiatrist, Dr. Turcotte. The experiences that arose from these associations would have capsized almost anyone's boat.

After divorcing her husband, extricating herself (with police assistance) from Dr. Turcotte, and abandoning a love relationship with a woman that was going nowhere, Robison begins to claim her own life again. She then has to deal with recovering from two serious strokes from which she still has disabilities. An older woman now who says she is not afraid of death, her life feels more like one of acceptance than one of victory.

Compelling, harrowing, and richly detailed, this memoir is a testament to resiliency. We have far less control in life than we want to admit over our family history and culture, our mental health, the behavior of others, and choices that can only be understood in retrospect. Yes, it's a late arrival, but I'm grateful that Robison has chosen, with this memoir, to be the authority in her own life.

I had to force myself to read this, chapter by chapter. As each chapter ended and a new one began, I had to keep turning the pages to make myself finish the book.
At the end I'm left wondering, "What. The. HELL?"

Of course at the beginning the publisher is sure to point out that THIS book was started before the author's children had their tell-alls. That really added a veneer of class to the book.

"ARE WE JEWISH? OMG! LET'S GO ON AND ON ABOUT IT!"
"AM I A LESBIAN? OMG! LET'S KEEP BRINGING THAT UP TOO! IT'S SO DISTURBING THAT I MAY BE QUEER" Yes, folks, she uses the word 'queer'.
It was hard to tell which disturbed her more: the fact that her family might be Jewish, or that she might be attracted to women. She apparently never had a disturbing thought about her actions on her children.

As I read this, chapter by chapter, I kept wondering why the heck was this book written? To tell the author's 'side' about why she was a bad mother? (She doesn't think she was that bad) To detail all the other crazy people in her life, the crazy crap they did to her/around her/because of her/etc.? If it's supposed to be some cathartic experiment to make her feel better, why publish it? Why not just leave this manneristic tome as a private journal and not call it a book? I found many parts of it to be flat-out UNBELIEVABLE as truth.

It was scattered and reckless, and the writing style left me feeling like I was in a car whose driver had fallen asleep at the wheel. I wanted to find some pity or some redemption for the author but page after page, I could only ask myself "WHY? WHY?? WHY???".

Definitely check it out at the library if it interests you, in case you want to take it back right away.

I will start by saying that this is an unbiased review - I have not read either of the author's sons books, and knew nothing about the author when I began reading the book.

Margaret Robison's story is riveting, engrossing, and somewhat of a roller-coaster ride to read. She marries her husband mainly because he threatens to kill himself if she doesn't, and they have a few "normal" years except for his anger problems, which become far worse as he begins drinking too much. As time goes on, he becomes a full-blown alcoholic and abuses his wife, and sometimes his children.

I don't remember exactly when the author has her first psychotic episode, but as she describes each one, I almost felt as if I was there, on that roller-coaster, and couldn't wait to get off. They were exhausting and terrifying even to me. Somewhere around her first one, she AND her husband start working with a Dr. Turcotte, who was crazier than both of them put together, and then some, and he gains an odd control over both of them, but especially Margaret.

It is clear from the start to me that Turcotte uses very odd methods, and the family becomes way too invoved with him - at one point even signing over custody of their youngest son to him. They have 2 sons, but there isn't that much about the oldest one in this book, I assumed he lived with his father most of the time. There is a lot about the younger son, Christopher - Margaret seems to have no control over him, and sadly, when she finds out he's in a sexual relationship with an older man who is a family friend, she does nothing, even though he's only 15 years old. In Dr. Turcotte's circle, this is considered "normal".

When the author has her psychotic episodes, Dr. Turcotte has her check herself in and out of mental hospitals, and she describes her experiences in detail - they were horrid. Margaret initially got involved with Dr. Turcotte because she wanted to leave her husband, and for a long time when Turcotte was working with both of them, he seemed to be doing sadistic things, like having them scream at each other for hours. They eventually did get divorced, and Margaret seemed to be doing much better, except for when Dr. Turcotte was around, which was far too often.

Margaret and Dr. Turcotte eventually go on a road trip because Turcotte needs to get away (he's delusional and paranoid, and thinks someone's after him). They end up having to spend a couple days in a hotel where Turcotte is constantly attacking Margaret - so much so that she can't remember whether anything sexual happened or not. This led to another episode of Margaret in the hospital, but this time she signs herself out, and is determined not to see Turcotte again. She asks for police protection from him, and, although she can't remember if she was raped or not, he is already being investigated for insurance fraud, and the police agree to protect her.

I don't know how much harm Turcotte caused over the years she worked with him, but there's no doubt in my mind that her life would have been much better without him, and perhaps a decent psychiatrist would have cured her or minimized the psychotic episodes.

Toward the end of the book, Margaret suffers a stroke which leaves her left side almost lifeless. She becomes dependent on her friends (and throughout the book I was impressed by how many good friends she has), and a nurse, and is afraid she'll never be able to write or do a poetry reading again. After a lot of hard work and time, and with the help of many people, she finally has her voice back to where she's comfortable with it, and is able to do her beloved poetry readings again. She does write about the books her son's wrote, and how they broke her heart, and she insinuates that one especially is full of lies. I will probably read "Running With Scissors" after this, and obviously it's the son's word against the mother's, but I cannot fathom having a mother who is so sick, both mentally and physically, capitalizing on that, and then not speaking, much less being there to help in some way, as the younger son has done. I have so much compassion for this woman and all that she's been through.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is at all interested in mental illness, dysfunction or memoirs that really draw you in so much you feel like you're there at times.

Margaret is a wonderful poet, and her magnificent poetic writing shines through in her pose. This memoir is not about Running With Scissors, and it is in no way a "rebuttal" to either of her sons' works. It is the story of a life filled with pain, struggle, and beauty. Margaret has experienced many things in her long life. She writes of her experience as a young girl, coming into womanhood at a time when being a woman was a heart-wrenching ordeal in-and-of itself. She writes of love, coming of age, and how she was swept up into a whirlwind romance and married to a brilliant, yet dangerous man who she grew to despise. Margaret's first hand account of raising her children gives clarity and understanding to those of us who have read her sons' memoirs. We learn of the trials and tribulations of raising an autistic son before such a diagnosis existed, and of the comfort she found in her children. The only point at which Running WIth Scissors is even addressed, Margaret discusses only the pain of losing the love of her youngest child.

This book is simply beautiful. It is extremely lucid and alive, and Margaret has a way with words that grips the heart. Never a dull moment; you will struggle to put the book down once you have begun. You will feel her pain, her joy, her heartbreak, as her words wrap you up and take you along with her on this long journey home.

Everyone has a story. Margaret Robison's story took many years to tell. Her sons (Augusten Burroughs and John Elder Robison) told only bits and pieces of her story in telling their own stories. Margaret used poetry to share glimpses of her thoughts and feelings, but poetry is just that: glimpses. Here in her memoir, Margaret Robison is able to tell her own very emotional story.

Margaret's childhood in the 1950s was a different world than the world today. However, even then it was a facade. It was not the life that it appeared to be, setting the stage for many of Margaret's later struggles. The difficult societal changes following the 1950s were challenging enough. Add to that Margaret's turmoil in dealing with issues of alcoholism and mental illness, not only as a woman, but as a wife and mother.

Margaret is open about her battles and her feelings. Her memoir is difficult to read in its honesty and its poignancy. Yet it is beautifully told and ultimately inspirational.

Indeed it was a long journey for Margaret, but I believe she is finally "Home".

Either you have the gift of writing or you don't. Margaret Robison proves she has the gift to write her side of the story following her two famous son's footsteps. In her memoir she gives her side of the story. Lyrically written, often compelling, she tells about her descent into madness {was she really mad?) and living in a mental institution.

Her book points out the express need for societal supports for women living in a destructive relationships as she tried to leave an alcoholic husband (according to her) but lacked support from the ones she loved. Instead she went back to the only family she had and tried to make the best of a bad marriage. When reading her book I often thought how different life would have been if she could have gone to a women's shelter instead of trying to make the best of a bad situation.

Her book will touch your heart, make you think, and perhaps be thankful for the changes our society has made when it comes to dealing with family issues, autistic spectrum disorders and mental illness.

Highly recommend.

I was really looking forward to this book because I have read books by both her sons. I thought having her point of view would just add to the story. I found two typos on the first page-the editor's fault, not the author's, but telling as far as what was to come. Robison's story is one whiny complaint after another, but I never got the feeling I really knew exactly WHAT made her childhood bad. Most of the characters are one dimensional. This is a shame because I was hoping to learn more about the family that her two author sons came from. The worst thing is her atrocious use of metaphors, similes, and what appears to be attempts at creative descriptions of her childhood. It is painful to read-not because her childhood was so bad, but because the writing is so hard to put up with. I'm almost done with the book and still hope that I will learn more by the time I'm done. Unfortunately, I don't think that will be the case.

I have not read Running with Scissors or Look Me In The Eye. Therefore, this is my first look at the Robison family. I found the book to be extremely self-indulgent. Margaret is not able to accept blame for anything in her life; rather she spends most of the book blaming others for her problems. First her mom, then her husband, then her therapist. I also found myself thinking that she was neglecting her children. I don't know any parent who would just accept that their 15 year old son was having an affair with a 30 year old man. While the writing style isn't bad, the plot-line is slow and rambling. Overall, I could not recommend this book to anyone.

I know I'm in the minority on this one, but I really did love this book. The thing about memoirs is that they involve other people: our families, parents, loved ones, friends, coworkers, etc. These people don't always get to tell their side of the story, and there are always two sides to every story. My family has had some very difficult times in the past and I can tell you for a fact that my almost grown sons remember a lot of times very differently than I do. This has come up with us before. A lof of it is because they don't always know my whole story. As parents we try to keep things from our children to protect them, and they don't see our whole stories. Because of this, I could relate to Margaret and her side of the story. I think she deserves to tell her side of the story and her story touched me very deeply! I have absolutely no doubt that it was tremendously difficult being her child! But, it was certainly not easy being her either!

I very highly recommend this book. She tells her story as she remembers it. Because of her mental breakdowns there are periods of time that she doesn't remember a lot. I thought her writing was beautiful, open, honest, and heartfelt. I truly enjoyed this book.

It was an era when the subject of madness within a family unit was silenced and hidden under the carpet. An era when the trauma and ill effects of mental illness were misunderstood. During this era, one woman was forced to battle abuse, alcoholism and the responsibility of raising two children, while fighting for survival from a psychotic breakdown. In desperation, Margaret Robinson searches for answers as she faces one challenge after another. During her struggle to regain her sanity, after confronting psychological chaos, her soul begins to heal as her faith turned into writing. This riveting memoir is highly recommended to all those who seek strength and inspiration from a story that's written with honesty as it tugs at the heart.