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The Lost Years: Surviving a Mother and Daughter's Worst Nightmare Paperback – September 1, 2006

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"The Lost Years is one of the most important books on family addiction and recovery that I have come across in years. It allows the readers a rare, simultaneous look into the hearts and minds of both the co-dependent and the addict. Kristina and her mother take us through the suffering, turmoil and destruction of addiction right on through to forgiveness, reconciliation and redemption. This book is invaluable to families, and I am proud to recommend The Lost Years." -- John Bradshaw, best-selling author of Healing the Shame That Binds You and Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child, and one of the leading authorities on co-dependency and family recovery

"This is the most important book I have read this year. I couldn't put it down." -- Anne Lamott, best-selling author of Grace (Eventually), Operating Instructions, Bird by Bird, Traveling Mercies, Rosie, All New People, and Blue Shoe

This book touches on both sides of addiction the side of the addict and that of the enabler. -- Cheri and Pat Summerall, former American football player and legendary sportscaster, and his wife

This is a powerful and amazing book. I could not put it down. -- Michael Pritchard, PBS host and child advocate

This is the most extraordinary memoir I have ever read. -- Stephanie Brown, Ph.D., psychologist and author
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 280 pages
  • Publisher: Jeffers Press (September 1, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0977761819
  • ISBN-13: 978-0977761814
  • Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 0.8 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (267 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #43,643 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

52 of 54 people found the following review helpful By T. Chenery on September 24, 2006
Format: Paperback
A must-read for every parent

Of all the addiction memoirs that I have read in the last two years this is one that goes straight to the heart of the matter. Genuine, honest, accessible and heart-breaking are just a few of the words that I would use to describe this powerful book.

Written as a joint account of the lives of a mother and daughter during the troubled times of the daughter's addiction and recovery, it is the mother's side of the story that turns out to be the more poignant since she had it all, then lost it, and ultimately had to find her own way out of the mess that her life was in. She took courageous steps to protect her other children from the damage that her addicted daughter could inflict on her family, the most devastating of which was, time and again, to turn the addict away from her door until her daughter learned she had no choice but to be rehabilitated. Very few loving parents can do this and then command the compassion to restore a beautiful relationship with such a prodigal child.

It must be rare too that an addict who has been so near to death as she had been from the serious diseases of alcohol and drug addiction should later become so unselfishly involved in helping others suffering. To live with the daughter, as one does in the later pages of this book, whilst she struggles through the recovery process and begins the struggle to re-connect with her family is a testament to the hope that exists and lives within all of us. It is the hope born of a belief that we can change our lives from the worst to the very best and it proves once again that where there is love there is life and where there is life there is always hope.
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30 of 31 people found the following review helpful By Larry Fritzlan on September 21, 2006
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is the book I have been waiting for! This is the Owner's Manual for anyone affected by this family disease. So often family members want someone else to change! Bravo Constance! You sought help, put the focus on yourself, set clear boundaries and clear consequences and your family got well. This book is a gift to all parents in a BIG way. Bravo Kristina! You followed your treatment recommendations and got well too. Your book is now mandatory reading for all the teens and all the parents in my teen drug treatment program as well as my graduate students in Counseling Psychology. I predict very big changes as a result of this book. Thank you!

Larry Fritzlan, LMFT - Director, Adolescent Recovery Services.
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16 of 16 people found the following review helpful By nancy y on August 24, 2007
Format: Paperback
After a year and a half in treatment and two attempts of making it on her own in the real world, my daughter relapsed one more time. Her therapists helped me come to grips with what needed to be done. After cutting her financially off and having her car taken away from her, her therapists told me... "read The Lost Years. It will show you why you have to do what you are doing!" My heart was broken from hearing myself say the words--- we are finished with you financially... and having to tell her that if she didn't do what was recommended for her, she could go out on the streets. I never thought we would have to get to this point. Well- we did! The Lost Years came into my life at a time when I needed a book to not only show me that what we were doing was the right thing but how to do it without feeling guilty. As Constance said.." another senselessness of addiction...."... "when they need you the most you have to turn them away..." Constance is the strongest most admirable mother I know. As I finished the book, tears were streaming down my face. If only my daughter could do what Kristina did!! Alanon has taught me that no person is hopeless. Kristina shows us that. What Kristina and her mother went through was pure hell but they got to the other side of it. They walked through their fears into recovery for both of them and a wonderful life for their famiy. We all need to hear these success stories. We all need role models and these two fine women are they! Thanks for sharing.
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful By Susan Douma on October 31, 2006
Format: Paperback
This book is well written, easy to read and almost impossible to put down. The subject matter relates to almost all of us. Who among us has not had such an experience or know someone who has, or is going through a similiar situation? I have a better understanding about how this happens and have been given hope that it does not always end in a negative manner.
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Mary Beth McClure on January 5, 2010
Format: Paperback
I have worked in the field of Chemical Dependency recovery for almost 30 years and have read & heard 1000's of 'recovery stories' but there is something about this one that hooks you in & doesn't let you go. It is heart-breaking, courageous and ultimately inspiringly clear-sighted. It's one of the best descriptions of how one family member's co-dependency recovery can alter an addict's destructive life course and also what it really takes to get and stay clean & sober. Kristina is unflinchingly honest, brave and vulnerable as she describes what it was like to climb back from the black pit of addiction and go on to become one of the best Interventionists in the country. The work she does now saves lives and families, alters the course of generations of alcoholism and is motivated by such sincerity of purpose.
For anyone who's ever wanted to understand the insanity of addiction, or how the progression occurs, this is the book for you. I keep multiple copies on hand to give out to anyone who's interested in a 'short course' on what Twelve-Step recovery is.
This book is a treasure!
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