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4 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Love Guru
I don't care what anybody says this movie is hilarrious mike myers is freakin hillarious in this movie. it's a must see
Published on October 8, 2009 by David

versus
6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars "I Own You!" ~ Bollywood, Bar Fights, Ball Gazing And Stink Mop As Tools To Englightenment
When you sit down to watch a Mike Myers movie realize that you have made the conscious decision to view something totally inane, slapstick and crude. On the other hand, there is another valid line of thought that would argue anyone who would watch a Mike Myers film is incapable of rational, conscious thought. A point well taken I must admit. With that said, if you're...
Published on October 1, 2008 by Brian E. Erland


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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars "I Own You!" ~ Bollywood, Bar Fights, Ball Gazing And Stink Mop As Tools To Englightenment, October 1, 2008
This review is from: The Love Guru (DVD)
When you sit down to watch a Mike Myers movie realize that you have made the conscious decision to view something totally inane, slapstick and crude. On the other hand, there is another valid line of thought that would argue anyone who would watch a Mike Myers film is incapable of rational, conscious thought. A point well taken I must admit. With that said, if you're still reading this review we know what camp you fall into.

In the '08 film `The Love Guru' Mr. Myers plays Guru Pitka, the second most popular spiritual teacher in the Occidental world, second to Deepak Chopra of course. Guru Pitka finally gets the opportunity to possibly move out of the number two position when he's hired by the owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team (Jessica Alba) to restore the broken marital relationship between their star player and his estranged wife who has moved in with the Los Angeles Kings well endowed goalie (Justin Timberlake). If he's successful he will not only be handed a two million dollar check but has been promised a booking to appear on the Oprah Winfrey Show! As you should have already guessed his spiritual instructional methods are, shall we say suspect and the storyline loaded with the usual gag routines, inside jokes and shots at anyone and everyone. In other words typical Mike Myers faire.

Hey, it could be a lot worse, Jessica Alba is gorgeous, diminutive Vern Troyer is adorable as the Maple Leafs coach and Justin Timberlake is surprisingly entertaining. There is definitely an audience out there for this one and you know who you are. For everyone else a couple beers before viewing might by in order.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Watch Something Else, December 1, 2013
By 
YuBalance (San Francisco, CA) - See all my reviews
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So bad. We ordered it because there was a funny Workaholics episode about the main character in this movie. We wanted to see what they were talking about, and it was terrible, but we didn't want to waste the money so sat through the entire thing. I really don't know why. haha
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6 of 8 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Fire the Love Guru - Hire a Script Guru, May 11, 2009
This review is from: The Love Guru (DVD)
The problem with this movie is that it's one of the least funny comedies ever created. Ever. Not only did I stop watching Love Guru half-way through the movie - something I have NEVER done before - but during that time, the unthinkable happened: I looked down upon Jessica Alba. In all seriousness, Alba's next movie could be a 90-minute monstrosity with her kicking house-pets, burning down soup kitchens, and feeding toddlers to hyenas, and I'd still probably look favorably upon her performance. So why is this so bad?

Well, it's not me. Into-Me-I-See. I laughed hard at Super Troopers, Old School, Superbad, and Talladega Nights, so I'm a big fan of juvenile humor. I quote daily from the three Austin Powers movies, as well as Wayne's World, so it's not Mike Myers. I compared the Feast series to the Godfather series, and Johnny Knoxville consistently makes me laugh, so it has nothing to do with vulgarity. I love Jessica Alba and midgets, so it's not Jessica Alba or Verne Troyer. I even enjoy B-movies, so it's not the fact that this is a B-movie.

As far as the "plot" goes, Guru Pitka (Myers) is an American self help guru who learned his skills in India from cross-eyed Guru Tugginmypudha (Ben Kingsley) (ba-dum-cha!). Pitka is hired by a Jane Bullard (Alba), to help her emotionally dysfunctional hockey team (ba-dum-cha!). Full of idiotic catch phrases and acronyms, Pitka hopes to dethrone Deepak Chopra as one of the resident mumbo-jumbo experts on the Oprah Show (ba-dum-cha!). Midget joke here (ba-dum-cha!), genitalia joke there (ba-dum-cha!).

Make no mistake; it looks big budget. The cast, crew, and everyone involved: top notch. There are even big name cameos like Val Kilmer. The problem is it's just not funny. Just look at the name of Kingsley's character again to see how bad the comedy is. I'm hoping this is the B-material he wanted to get out of the way before Austin Powers 4.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Worst movie of all time possibly?, July 24, 2009
By 
Charles Allen (Knoxville, TN USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: The Love Guru (DVD)
Was this Mike Myers' evil twin? This was, in my memory, the worst movie I have ever seen. The constant repeatativeness and forced "jokes" down your throat are almost maddening when I consider how much I've like Mike Myers' movies before this. The "character" seems so much like the Austin Powers characters I wonder if this is all he has to offer us now. I enjoyed the music but if a movie is so bad that I have to focus on the music for a positive, that's a really bad movie. Honestly, I would not buy this and I bet those trying to hurry and get rid of their copies of this movie are having a hard time. I hope Mike can come back from this and not have it ruin how people will remember him.
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18 of 26 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Miserably, Wretchedly Awful, October 15, 2008
This review is from: The Love Guru (DVD)
I remember the negative rumblings when this film was in production. The advance screening reviews did not treat it well, and most reviews once it opened also were not good, some of them downright brutal. Then it was in and out of my local megaplexes in less than a month. Now it's on DVD, right after the end of the summer, not even waiting for the holiday market, not even tying into some kind of wacky Halloween marketing-thing.

Through all of these increasingly negative omens I kept faith, figuring, "Hey, it's Mike Myers, the man who brought us "Sprockets" on Saturday Night Live, the Wayne's World guy, the Austin Powers guy." I like to watch So I Married an Axe Murderer when it's on cable; I even know most of that crazy "O, Harriett" beat poem. I knew that while this particular film might not be his best, that it could be Mike Myers' Blame It On Rio, that I'd still find it overall funny and entertaining.

Not so. This film is absolute junk, right from the beginning. It was so awful, I turned it off after 40 minutes.

Yes, it really is that bad. In Amazon.com reviews I have savaged--given them what they're due, actually--that ridiculous CGI-permeated gunk Van Helsing and that vapid Hollywood The Stepford Wives (Special Collector's Edition) garbage, and I recently let I Am Legend have it as well, each for their own failings. But I sat through each of those stinkers, right through to the end titles. This one didn't even earn that level of interest and respect. By forty minutes, I had had enough of the idiotic humor, the flat jokes, the bad characters, Myers wallowing in his own grossly overinflated sense of comedic creativity and personal hip-itude, and I had no interest at all in seeing how it would all turn out.

Myers plays a wacky Indian guru, a holy man specializing in love and relationships, but he has neither love nor a relationship of his own, and a clanking elephant-head chastity belt to boot. The guru comes across as self-centered, money-grubbing, commercially prostituted, demented, capricious, manipulative and foul. There is no serenity, no grace, not the slightest indication of any kind of scholarly depth, just a rapid-fire stream of idiotic caca-doody and genital jokes. It's all urine and feces, phallic goofs, simulated pain inflicted on male sexual parts, the kind of stuff I found trite once I matured into 7th grade. Now, I love the Jackass movies, so I know from funny in slapstick agony, genitals and excretory humor. But this film was just mindless, moronic junk, a collection of Myers' jokes and stupid puns, the stuff that didn't make the cut for the second Austin Powers sequel, run together with a contrived, meandering, patchwork, pathetically predictable story.

If you've seen the film, you'll know that Myers' Guru Pitka would say that this film is pure Comprehensive Radical Adjustment Participation.

I mean, in the scene in which Myer's guru and his destined love have their first big date, he has arranged a very special meal which looks exactly like human testicles. Both he and Jessica Alba bray their way through the endless stupid jokes, it all ending with the hilariously beaten and mutilated edible having to be discarded. We've already been beaten over the head that the guru wants Alba as THE love of his incongruously empty life, and so this is the way he, The Love Guru, the man who has so much depth and experience in love and relationships, creates his first impression for his one-and-only? Absolute garbage.

Myers' Indian guru character offended even me, and I'm about as white-bread as they come. His bad Indian accent drifted in between the Saturday Night Live/"So I Married an Axe Murderer" Scottish Dad, Fat Bastard and Shrek. I mean, he couldn't even take the time to get his Indian accent down, so busy was he working on these complex, meaningful, mutually reinforcing gags about elephant dung and fighting with mops dripping with the fresh urine of his deeply honored guru-master.

Vern Troyer is reduced to spewing profanities, being the butt of increasingly vicious little-person jokes and a series of demeaning, ugly sight gags in which he is always the victim of physical violence.

Ben Kingsley--the guy who played freeking Gandhi, and won the Oscar for it--is reduced to playing a cross-eyed clown. Sad.

Jessica Alba is stunning, predictably, but still just can't act, even in this shallow story.

And then there was the endless parade of celebs who want to be in a Mike Myers film, from Val Kilmer to Oprah, bad and forced cameos all, the kind of overblown star-packing formula that made me puke in "Goldmember."

The only good part I encountered lasted all of 20 seconds, a wonderfully done, detailed spin on the typical Bollywood boy-girl musical number, with Myers and Alba. It was great, right down to the disorienting camera zooms, the impossible physical backdrops, the music and lyrics, the nauseatingly deep, warbling color and a jittery box with understated yet funny subtitles. This was what this film should have been.

Bottom line: Avoid this film; there is nothing redeeming in it. For a more entertaining South Asian romantic comedy experience, watch The Guru instead.
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6 of 8 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars 2.5--This film seems so out of place in Mike Myers career., September 22, 2008
By 
This review is from: The Love Guru (DVD)
I thought this film was alright. Most of the story, at least what there is of one, is obviously from the mind of Myers. He is fantastic at creating strange characters and bringing them to life. The thing here is the titular character is better suited to a recurring skit instead of a full length film. The initial joke wears off long before the closing credits and much of the humor is just a variation of the same theme.

Basically Myers plays Guru Maurice Pitka, the second most famous guru, after Deepak Chopra. When the star player of the Toronto Maple Leafs, Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco) begins to falter just before the Stanley Cup the owner of the team, Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba) hires Pitka to get his game back. This plot line also demonstrates a love that Myers has for Hockey, a natural for a native born Canadian. The screenplay is full of jokes that push right up to the limits of good taste and boldly goes over that line. Most of the jokes are repetitive and while funny at first soon become increasingly annoying. Okay, the one concerning the name of Mariska Hargitay has a bit more staying power and is accentuated by a cameo by the actress. In fact this movie seems to have an inordinate number of well known guest appearances. Many of the jokes are on the level of grade school humor. One example concerns an Uncle Jack being helped off an elephant. I don't have to be explicit here; if you think back to sixth grade you've heard the joke before. It appears here that Myers was channeling his inner child while writing this script.

Director Schnabel manages to get the most out of a cast that deserves better than this. How they got an actor like Sir Ben Kensley to play a cross eyed mentor is beyond belief but as the consummate actor he is Sir Ben gives it his all. Justin Timberlake also gives a surprisingly good performance here. As a pop music sensation he is wisely going for smaller off beat roles instead of prematurely trying to carry a whole film on his own. Alba is a beautiful young woman and she actually has a great scene of comic timing but here her looks are what is showcased.

Paramount does do a great job of presenting the film to DVD. The audio and video are excellent and there are even a good number of extras. There are 11 deleted scenes if you really need to see things that were not considered good enough to make the final cut. I do have to admit I laughed at the blooper reel. It does seem that the cast had a great deal of fun making the flick. There are three featurettes that detail ever aspect of the production for those that really have to know.
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5 of 7 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Predictable and boring, March 15, 2009
By 
This review is from: The Love Guru (DVD)
People are always saying that things were better "back then" and the sentiment increases with age. When it comes to Hollywood movies, things were most certainly better when the movie business didn't release so many movies or beat successful horses until every last original thought or joke devolves into boring and fatuous formula. Welcome to the career of Mike Myers.

Maybe if the bulk of Myer's resume wasn't bullet-pointed with sequels and he hadn't showed us all the goodies in his comedy tool box; e.g., an entertaining mix of sophomoric innuendo, spot-on satire of genres, cheeky names, and the always-popular jokes regarding genitalia or bowel movements, he wouldn't have exhausted his repertoire and we wouldn't have to suffer through The Love Guru. This newest offering is as predictable as the jokes you see coming a mile away. Making it worse is that the premise isn't even that interesting. Like so many comedy movies released of late, there is a thread of a plot wrapped around ninety minutes of extremely tired jokes. The actors do their best and there are some smiles and mild chuckles, but most of it is just groan-inducing and expected.

I really like Mike Myers and want to believe that he has some great movies left in him, but to take several years to come up with this yawn-fest makes me question my beliefs. Either he has to let go of the reins and work for someone else or he needs to enter the cryogenic chamber and shoot himself into outer space in a giant Big Boy vessel, returning only when the last of us who have seen his work and grown tired of it are no longer living.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars misses the mark, October 16, 2011
By 
M "Delicious Strawberry" (I wait behind the wall, gnawing away at your reality) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)   
This review is from: The Love Guru (DVD)
Normally I enjoy Mike Myers and he did a solid with his Austin Powers trilogy, but unfortunately the same cannot be said about this film. It is supposed to spoof off mysticism and being a guru, and some parts are funny like the transporting pillow, but so many things were off the mark that they simply were not funny, period, such as the bit with the soaked mop or the chastity belt. It started off funny, but by the end, was painful.
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11 of 16 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A Karmic Komedy, June 20, 2008
By 
This review is from: The Love Guru (DVD)
Forget about Mike Myers for a minute. Let's begin with Ben Kingsley, the Oscar winning actor who actually appears in "The Love Guru"; he plays a cross-eyed spiritual advisor from India, and his name is not a double entendre so much as it's a blatant sexual reference smushed into a single word. The sight of this man is hilarious, and yet I didn't want to laugh because I know that Kingsley has made so many better choices than this film. What possessed him to act in a film this unashamedly juvenile? Did he find the idea of nonstop [...] gags appealing? I might as well be asking myself the same questions, because in all honesty, "The Love Guru" often had me giggling like a six-year-old who heard his first dirty joke. But to call this movie a comedic masterpiece would be an insult to the very concept of comedy.

The plot focuses on Pitka (Myers), an American-born, Indian-raised guru who was taught by Kingsley's character to become an expert in matters of love. How, I'm not entirely sure; he was forced to put on a metal chastity belt at the age of twelve, and there it would stay until he learned how to love himself above all others. Be that as it may, he's now a world-renowned spiritual advisor, guiding hundreds of followers with his bits of wisdom. He even attracts celebrities like Mariska Hargitay, and that's really interesting because her name doubles as his blessing for peace, love, and tranquility. But for all his fame and fortune, Pitka feels empty inside because he's only the second most famous guru. The first, of course, is Deepak Chopra. There is, however, a way for Pitka to increase his popularity: he must heal a troubled relationship between a Hockey player and his wife, who left him for another Hockey player. If Pitka can help them, he will be secured a guest spot on Oprah's show.

This opportunity arises because of Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba), owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs; the team's star player, Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco), broke up with his wife, Prudence (Meagan Good), and as a result, his Hockey skills have been waning. This shouldn't be a problem for Pitka, who's always ready with a slew of sayings hidden within acronyms. Examples: GURU is short for Gee, You Are You, and BIBLE is short for Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. He also has published a number of self-help books with such inspiring titles as "If You're Happy and You Know It, Think Again," and "Does it Hurt When You Do That? Don't Do That." He introduces himself to Darren by rolling in on a motorized pillow and telling him that his wife has forgiven him. Low and behold, Darren's practice shots improve dramatically; Pitka then understands that the key to Darren's success is about distraction, not merely about reconciling a feuding couple.

Thus begins a strict regiment of spiritual guidance. Darren's first big obstacle is his wife's new boyfriend, a French-Canadian Hockey player named Jacque Grande (Justin Timberlake). His talent is huge, much like his ... well, let's just say that there's a reason this man is so fond of roosters. Darren's second obstacle is his mother (Telma Hopkins), whose loveable face hides an incredibly overbearing personality. If Pitka can convince him to face her, he might be able to overcome years of emotional scarring. This, in turn, will bring him one step closer to patching things up with Prudence.

Intertwined with all of this is the relationship between Pitka and Jane, which steadily grows. Jane feels inadequate because of what she calls the Bullard Curse; the long and short of it is that everyone in the city blames her for the Maple Leafs' losing streak. As a result, men stay as far away from her as possible. I have a feeling the audience won't care about this subplot one bit--all anyone will notice are the film's back-to-back sexual innuendoes related to male genitalia. There are also a fair number of gags featuring the Maple Leafs' coach, an angry, foulmouthed dwarf played by Verne Troyer. You remember Verne Troyer as Mini Me from the "Austin Powers" sequels, don't you? The dwarf jokes in those films wore thin after a while. The same can be said in the case of "The Love Guru." Truth be told, every joke wears thin at a certain point.

But I can't deny the fact that I laughed every now and then. Consider cameo appearances by Stephen Colbert and Jim Gaffigan as sports announcers--they add nothing meaningful to the story, yet their one-liners are so outlandish that I found myself smiling. I'm not exactly proud of myself for that. I know that there are much better comedies out there, ones that don't begin and end with musical numbers and feature two elephants having sex in a Hockey rink. Again, I turn my attention back to Ben Kingsley, who chose to play a cross-eyed Indian despite his accomplished career: Did that same guilty laughter haunt him as he read the script? Was he actually tempted by the idea of telling masturbation jokes to audiences of immature teenagers? Maybe so, because goodness knows I wasn't strong enough to completely resist it. There's absolutely no good reason to see "The Love Guru," even if you think you will find it funny.
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5 of 7 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars What the....?, October 27, 2008
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This review is from: The Love Guru (DVD)
This movie I believe had so much promise...so what happened? I love the Austin Power Movies, this I believe could of been something just as if not funnier than those movies. I just found myself thinking all the gags were stupid, not stupid funny, just stupid.
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The Love Guru
The Love Guru by Mike Myers (DVD - 2008)
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