The term “MILF” means, in slightly more titillating verbiage, “m
other with whom I
ike to f
ornicate.” According to Wikipedia,
“M.I.L.F.” denotes a sexually attractive older female, generally between 30 and 50 in age and not necessarily an actual mother. The term was popularized by the film American Pie
(1999), though the origin of the term predates this [as it was] already used for years on the Internet.
These days, “MILF” has become a compliment. While other names for sexy women have remained stuck to the brothel floor, “MILF” has picked itself up, crawled out the door, and marched with pride into the local health food store. That’s because there’s something more to “MILF.” Something almost magical about it. I’ve seen it in the eyes of every woman whom I’ve told about The MILF Diet.
First the teensiest bit of shock and then a wonderful expression of joy. “I love it!” they said, time and time again. Nine out of ten women surveyed had good feelings about the term “MILF.”
And then it revealed itself in a flash of neurological lightning: “MILF” is evolutionary. “MILF” acknowledges that women can—and do—stay sexy and vital, and that mothers can turn heads as well. Clean, pure, and the Madonnas of a certain Madonna/whore complex: MOTHERS
Finally. We MILFs have been waiting for the last two thousand years to get our sexuality back. Ever since Mary played the Immaculate card in Bethlehem, our culture has been struggling with a fundamental split: women are unconsciously perceived as either good girls or good-time
girls, either naughty or nice.
What a drag for us MILFs! We knew that our C cups were for fun and
function. We knew that we could change a diaper and
look smoking hot—just not always at the same time, thank you very much. There was no actual split in us. And, frankly, it’s been painful to constantly—and often unconsciously—have to choose one side of ourselves over the other.
But “MILF” saves the day! Suddenly we can be mothers (or the age of mothers) and
be considered frisky in the bedroom. With “MILF” comes the acknowledgment of the complexity and beauty of womanhood.
And what’s best about “MILF” is that the term was generated by men, for men. It’s not some politically correct label we’re trying to shove down their throats. Perhaps the term “MILF” is evidence that a healing is going on in our newly minted males. Maybe it’s because they were brought up by sexy, cool, independent women . . . MILFs themselves. Maybe it’s because there are just some very sexy mothers out there, pushing their carts at Whole Foods. No matter its origins, I’m suggesting we co-opt this term and wear it with pride. Because it reunites sexuality and the great maternal gifts of womanhood, it’s a four-letter word we can get behind.
Okay, okay. “MILF” may not save marriages. Or heal nations. But it does, like the Madonna/whore complex, do its work quietly and subconsciously within the culture. With “MILF” comes a positive, deep, and pleasurable recognition that we women are fantastic in our fecundity, are wired to love deeply, and can be thoroughly naughty in bed. Stuff we knew all along. Finally, the men are figuring it out.
And these days, with yoga classes on every corner and Eckhart Tolle on every bedside table, your average MILF is working on her higher self, too. She is exploring another dimension that takes her personal power to the next level. In this book, we address that plane of consciousness and unite it again, appropriately, with motherhood, sexuality, and the other lovely attributes of MILFiness.
The age of the MILF is upon us, and it’s about freaking time. How Does a MILF Stay MILFy?
One of the quickest routes to natural MILFiness is through food; by eating whole, natural foods and letting go of processed, crappy “food,” the female body finds its peaceful home again. Extra pounds simply fall away. Inner hardness softens. The plumbing works much better. You step off that horrible emotional roller coaster and a wonderful clarity descends.
Happily, these foods will also significantly reduce your risk of decidedly un-MILFy conditions like osteoporosis, diabetes, heart disease, and breast cancer. Whole grains will leave you feeling energized, yet relaxed and clearheaded. Sea vegetables will make your skin all dewy and your hair stronger and shinier. Bye-bye, tracksuits! Hello, cute tennis outfits! Your DILF won’t know what hit ’im.
But that’s not all; by sticking close to Mother Nature in our food choices, that “witchipoo” intuition we each carry inside becomes sharp, dependable, and loud. You will become more sensitive to vibrations and less a victim of the material world and its follies. You will start working more from the creative right hemisphere of your brain and less from the noisy, logical left. You will find your own inner balance and a whole new dimension to your feminine power. This is cruising at high MILFitude.
And the sex? Well, sex changes, too. The MILF diet will bring you back home to your body. Every single buzzing cell of it. So instead of focusing on the finish, you will relish the journey again. Rubbing up against your DILF will blow your mind, because by merely being in his presence, open and MILFy, your opposite energy fields collide and start their fireworks. Remember, you radiate a powerful, womanly, nourishing force. Your very essence makes a man feel strong and alive.
To stay MILFy is to keep a certain feminine je ne sais quoi alive and kicking. And yet, that mysterious element may not be so mysterious. In Chinese philosophy, the feminine principle is called yin, a soft and receptive force. In the West, the closest we come to describing the feminine might be Mother Nature, as we acknowledge her uniquely female qualities.
Natural femininity exists—perfectly intact—inside of you. You don’t need to chant about it, or wear the right fertility amulet, or even understand it in an intellectual way. This energy is
you. You are it. By being born with a set of ovaries, a uterus, and a functional set of boobs, you are a card-carrying member of the Yin Club, and head pom-pom waver on Mother Nature’s cheerleading squad.
In Taoist thought, opposite (yet complementary) forces come together to make all things. Although we in the West recognize sets of opposites like sperm and egg, man and woman, oil and vinegar, we tend to reduce them to their material, mechanical components. We love to whip out the microscope and analyze them, reducing them further to ittier and bittier parts. But in the East, each member of any duality is thought to be backed by a fundamental force of nature: yin or yang. To the Eastern mind, everything can be seen through this lens of yin and yang. And if that language is too weird, let’s swap it for “expansion and contraction.” For instance, plants expand in the summer and contract in the winter. The tide rolls in and the tide rolls out. At this very moment, your heart is expanding and contracting. Ditto your lungs. All these rhythms are created by the natural attraction between these two opposite forces, which are at play on every level of existence.
No matter where we look, we continually find layer after layer of this duality—more expanded elements connecting with more contracted elements—whether it’s electrons balancing protons, hydrogen meeting oxygen, or Fred Astaire spinning Ginger Rogers. This simple, elegant dance is taking place in, around, and throughout our bodies every moment of the day.
So, if men and women make up one of the great, dynamic, and mysterious dualities of nature, we—as MILFs—are governed by one side of the energy spectrum. We represent, if you will, the more expanded side of things: Our bodies are naturally softer. We get fat more easily. Our breasts and butts and hips are lovely and expanded. We open and expand to receive a lover. We expand to grow babies and we expand even more to give birth to them. And once the little darlings are born, we expand, emotionally and psychically—again and again and again—to make room for them and give them what they need.
In terms of communication, we express ourselves more easily and, whereas men can at times seem linear, analytical, or locked up inside themselves (contracted), women are generally bursting forth (expanded) with feelings, or words, or heartfelt advice for a friend.
Even science is showing that men’s and women’s brains are significantly different; men tend to stay a little more stuck in their left hemisphere, while the female connects back and forth between hemispheres more quickly and easily. With larger deep limbic systems, we tend to be more connected to our feelings, to other people, and to our internal worlds. We are sensitive creatures, easily bruised, and all our estrogen makes us eager to diffuse tension. Whereas men are coded to defend and protect (contract), we women bond and connect (expand)—that’s our thing. Of course, we all have access to both sides of the spectrum (men express love; women can defend), but, just as it’s naturally easier to write with one of your hands than the other, each gender has its dominant mode.1
And these natural feminine gifts are powerful; one could argue that the world needs more of them these days. It is connection that makes a strong family, a healthy neighborhood, or a united world. It is this feminine principle that forges communication, empathy, and love. A woman in touch with her natural femininity creates a space for others to be welcomed and received. She helps people to gr...