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The New Male Sexuality, Revised Edition Paperback – July 6, 1999


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 432 pages
  • Publisher: Bantam; Rev Sub edition (July 6, 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0553380427
  • ISBN-13: 978-0553380422
  • Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.2 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #57,915 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

This revision of the 1978 book Male Sexuality: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment ( LJ 2/15/78) is comprised of four sections: Introduction, Sexual Reality, Better Sex, and Resolving Problems. The latter two comprise the bulk of the book. Unfortunately, there is inadequate treatment of homosexuality, sexually transmitted diseases (AIDS receives short shrift), and the effects of aging and physical disability on male sexuality. The chapters on the mechanics of the male physical equipment and on how to handle erection problems are very good. Still, better coverage of this topic appears in Richard Sparks's Male Sexual Health: A Couple's Guide (Consumer Reports, 1991) and Irwin Goldstein and Larry Rothstein's The Potent Male: Fact, Fiction, Future ( LJ 6/1/90). Libraries owning either may pass. Previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 3/1/92.
- Del Cain, V.A. Medical Ctr. Lib., Bedford, Mass.
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Kirkus Reviews

The old performance model is out, replaced by a new model of sex that emphasizes ``pleasure, closeness, and self- and partner- enhancement''--or so says Oakland therapist Zilbergeld (The Shrinking of America, 1983, etc.). Pleasure takes practice, for doing what comes naturally is no guarantee of good sex, Zilbergeld counsels. Here, good sex is defined as feeling good about yourself, good about your partner, and good about what you're doing. As in Male Sexuality (1978), Zilbergeld includes many exercises--ranging from solo mental activities to practice sessions requiring a willing partner--that he's used regularly in his practice. In addition, he provides suggested scripts that give examples of how to talk to your partner. Zilbergeld examines the fantasy model of sex with some hilarious excerpts from bestselling novels by Harold Robbins, Erica Jong, and others before focusing on the real thing with black-and-white anatomical drawings and charts depicting male and female sexual response. With the basics out of the way, he moves on to his main concern: how to have better sex. The focus is on relationships and communication--becoming a good listener, asserting yourself, expressing yourself, etc. Specific sexual problems are considered, and exercises designed to resolve them are provided. Zilbergeld acknowledges that self-help may not be enough and directs difficult cases to a sex therapist. And lest the next generation have the same hang-ups as the present one, he includes a chapter of advice for fathers on talking to their sons about sex. Takes on tough problems and answers difficult-to-ask questions: comprehensive, forthright, and reassuring. -- Copyright ©1992, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Customer Reviews

3.8 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

58 of 63 people found the following review helpful By Jeri Marlowe M.A. MFCC(jerijet7@aol.com) on September 16, 1999
Format: Paperback
Just when I thought MALE SEXUALITY could not get better, it did! This revised edition is a must have for both men and women who want to both learn more about their sexuality and enhance it. Bernie writes clearly, factually, compassionately, and without judgement. His book informs, gives permission, and is helpful in understanding what happens when things are not the way you'd like, sexually. He provides excersises that support insight, and information that allows growth. This book is a standard, and should be in anyone's library who is at all curious about their own sexuality and their sexual relationship. I recommend this book for both men and women. It promotes conversation and learning between partners, and provides accurate information.
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42 of 47 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on February 8, 2000
Format: Paperback
Finally, a book that speaks with reasonableness and straightforwardness to men and women! This book offers suggestions and tools, in an insightful and respectful manner, for women and men to enhance not just their sexual lives but also their relationships with one another. I had lost faith in men's ability to think beyond the mechanics. Thank you for pursuing quality and not just quantity!
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful By J. Wian on November 19, 2008
Format: Paperback
I must be honest in that I have never read a sexual self help book before - however, my boyfriend, after enduring a terrible 15 year marriage was suggested by a therapist to read it. I picked it up and couldn't put it down! Both men and women hold some misconceptions about what is right, acceptable, etc. and Bernie Busts the Myths! It also frees men from the social conditioning and/or poor parental guidance they received in their youth...but carried with them for years! I'm giving a copy to my 20 something son because I want him and his partner to enjoy their lives - every aspect of it! Even in this day and age people are still scared to talk frankly about sex...while there were a few concepts or opinions I didn't 100% agree with, overall it was very concise, accurate and quite witty...a fun read. I noticed most of the reviews were out of date so I wanted to provide a current one...buy this book if you are frustrated or confused (err...not doing well in) about relationships, especially the sexual components...Bernie will help you see clearer and enjoy your God given sexual self!
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11 of 13 people found the following review helpful By Thirdman on September 27, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I am 20 and male, and I prefer reading about sexuality from women's books rather than this one. Zilbergeld's book was great for general practices and will probably be a great resource for sexual problems later in life, but his tone treats feminism as something males are still learning to accept. In general, there is too much about overcoming men's guilt that women should enjoy sex, too, (performance issues) and not enough about creating better sex by appreciating it for oneself and being responsive to one's partner. In general, women's books like Because It Feels Good by Debby Herbenick strike a more emotionally stable and exploratory balance which fits where I am in life.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Deb on November 18, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is a very good book that can be used in all stages of a relationship by both men and women. It has some very good information that can be used to validate or inform a person of most aspects of a man's bodily functions. Both the emotional and physical responses that can either cause a healthy response or explain what may be causing a negative response in your relationship. For my husband and me we are using it to help us deal with him getting past problems that have occurred due to Low Testosterone levels and the E.D. that have followed after years of dealing with Low T. By him reading the book he has found that he is not the only man out there with a problem and that it is not something he has to deal with in silence. He also learned that worrying about fixing it or blaming himself for having a problem does far more harm that just dealing with it. The book has given him more confidence to approach the problem with his Dr. The only think I can say to you wives out there that have a husband that you love with a problem is read this book. For years I questioned weightier the problem was with me, if I was doing something wrong. By reading this book it has shown me that it is not a problem that you have to deal with alone. That there is a reason for his problem and gives you the tools you need to LOVE your man through them. Love is the best cure there is for ED problems and a multitude of other problems, problems that can be just as devastation to your relationship. With this information and the reassurance that you still love him you can give him more than some medicines alone. But if you take on the assumption that you're the cause of his problem or if he tries to make it about you so he doesn't have to face his own problem or feel less of a man because he has a problem.Read more ›
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54 of 74 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on August 10, 1999
Format: Paperback
This is a great book as long as the author stays in his field and deals with what he knows. It gets shaky when he strays into sociology and history where his knowledge is too superficial and obviously influenced by the spirit of the age. He depicts men as being sad, hollow creatures unable to connect with others in meaningful relationships and striving anxiously to perform up to others' expectations. He then spends most of the rest of the book telling us how to perform so we can live up to women's expectations and thereby enter in meaningful face-to-face as opposed to empty side-by-side relationships. It never seems to occur to him that men (and perhaps many women) may not want the degree of control and lack of privacy inherent in face-to-face relationships. Perhaps men are satisfied with a much lower level of intimacy. Like most psychiatric professionals, the author appears to think that the generally unhappy people he meets in his practice are representative. He seems to have unconsciously adopted the patriarchal and now feminist attitude that everything that goes wrong for men is their own fault. All the problems in male/female relationships are male in origin. Men have to change (perform?). While finding this all-too-familiar litany distressing, I found a great deal of useful information in this book about what the author clearly does know about: male sexuality. He seems to understand how and why we are the way we are sexually. The practical suggestions on how to solve functional problems could be very helpful.
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