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The Mama's Boy Myth: Why Keeping Our Sons Close Makes Them Stronger [Hardcover]

Kate Stone Lombardi
3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)

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Book Description

March 15, 2012

A New York Times contributor offers a radical reexamination of a hot-button issue of the mother and son relationship and advocates the end of the "mama's boy" taboo.

New York Times contributor Kate Stone Lombardi unveils the surprisingly close relationship between mothers and sons. Mother after mother confessed to Lombardi that her husband, brothers, and even female friends and family criticize the fact that she is "too close" to her sons. Many of these women are often startled by the strong connection they feel with their sons; but rarely do they talk about it because society tells them to push their little boys away and not "baby" them with too much cuddling and comforting. It is as if there were an existing playbook-based on gender preconceptions dating back to Freud, Oedipus, and beyond-that prescribes the way mothers and their sons should interact.

Lombardi's much-needed narrative is the first and only book to share truly revealing interviews with mothers who have close relationships with their sons, as well as interviews with these women's sons and husbands. Lombardi persuasively argues that the rise of the new male-one who is more emotionally intelligent and more sensitive without being less "manly"-is directly attributable to women who are rejecting the "mama's boy" taboo. Highlighting new scientific studies, The Mama's Boy Myth begins a fresh story-one that will be welcomed by mothers, fathers, and sons alike.


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Editorial Reviews

Review

"An informative, hopeful book that delves into an important topic-how moms can help raise emotionally healthy sons. Mothers of sons, take note: Kate Stone Lombardi tells us that what we have instinctually known—that the stereotype of the stoic Marlboro Man emotionless young male is just that—a stereotype. It turns out, our wonderful sons relish connection and affection just as much as our fantastic daughters—and Lombardi tell us, those are relationships to celebrate."
—Peg Tyre, author of The Trouble with Boys

“A provocative debut…an insightful, timely study”
Kirkus Reviews 

The Mama’s Boy Myth takes on the idea that mothers who are close to their mothers make them weak or effeminate…in fact, Lombardi says, strong mother-son relationships have mainly positive effects.” 
The Wall Street Journal

 “Stop Worrying About Raising A Mama’s Boy…. It sounds like a myth of yesteryear, but Kate Stone Lombardi, frequent New York Times contributor and author of  The Mama’s Boy Myth, says the hangover from generations of gender preconceptions affects us all, and that in many families and communities, mothers still find themselves urged to push their sons away at exactly the moments (like starting school and becoming a teenager) when our boys need us most — and that even when we don’t, we find it hard to talk about how close we are to our sons.”
The New York Times

 “Will a close mother-son relationship create another Norman Bates? Far from it, says Kate Stone Lombardi, author of The Mama’s Boy Myth …From the myth of Oedipus to the movie Psycho, narrative after narrative harps on the idea that mothers can damage their sons, make them weak, awkward and dependent. But for millions of men, the opposite has turned out to be true.”  
—NPR "All Things Considered"

 “It’s a relief to know that the mother-son connection gives boys a good start in life.”
The Toronto Globe and Mail

 “Moms are expected to help their sons develop a healthy masculine identity, not by holding them close, but by pushing their sons away. Award winning journalist Lombardi’s provocative new book, The Mama’s Boy Myth, reveals surprising research that doesn’t just contradict this theory – it blows it out of the water. Far from damaging their sons, mothers who have a nurturing, close relationship with their male children are imparting innumerable benefits at every stage of development.”
—SheKnows.com

“When she was raising her two children, Kate Stone Lombardi—a seasoned journalist for The New York Times—was taken aback by the assumptions of so many people around her, who said it was best to distance herself from her son to avoid him becoming a “mama’s boy.” But Lombardi’s parenting instincts went against all of the advice that she was hearing. Synthesizing years of research with hundreds of her own interviews with mothers, sons, fathers and experts, she presents a solid argument to those naysayers in her book, The Mama’s Boy Myth. Both the data and the personal anecdotes demonstrate that fostering a close mother-son relationship results in emotionally evolved, empathetic and successful men.”  
New York Press
 

About the Author

Kate Stone Lombardi has contributed to The New York Times for the last twenty years. Her work has also appeared in The Wall Street Journal, Reader’s Digest, Parenting, Time.com and Ladies Home Journal. She has won six Clarion Awards for journalism from Women in Communications. A graduate of Williams College with an MS in journalism from Columbia University, Lombardi is the mother of two adult children and lives in Westchester County, New York, with her husband, Michael.
 

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Avery (March 15, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1583334572
  • ISBN-13: 978-1583334577
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.8 x 1.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #714,772 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Kate Stone Lombardi has been a journalist for more than 20 years. She was a regular contributor to The New York Times and for seven years wrote a popular column for a regional section of the paper. Kate's work has also appeared in The Wall Street Journal, Time.com and Parenting. She has won six Clarion awards for journalism from the Association for Women in Communications. Kate is a graduate of Williams College and has an M.S. in journalism from Columbia University. "THE MAMA'S BOY MYTH: Why Keeping Our Sons Close Makes Them Stronger" is her first book.

www.mamasboymyth.com

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
25 of 27 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A thought-provoking read! March 19, 2012
Format:Hardcover
I am a child psychologist and mother and have found this book to be both informative and thought provoking. Mrs. Lombardi manages to offer a thorough examination of the research in this area while simultaneously telling a wonderful story. The Mama's Boy Myth offers a revolutionary look at the mother-son relationship and child development, more generally. She challenges stereotypically held gender beliefs and will get you reconsidering what you have always accepted to be true. I strongly recommend this book to colleagues, clients, and friends, alike! This is a great read!
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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars eye opening ideas! March 19, 2012
Format:Hardcover
even as the mother of daughters (and not sons), i found this book an engaging read about and important and compelling notion. there are sons all around us, and mothers of sons, and this book addresses the impact of the mother-son relationship not only on the immediate family but on society. it made me think about my relationship with my daughters, my mother's relationship with my brothers, my mother-in-law's relationship with my husband, and my daughters' possible future relationships with their sons. lombardi presents a breakthrough in how we think about parenting.
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars More apple pie, please! March 24, 2012
Format:Hardcover
After having juggled (and dodged!) centuries of conflicting advice on how to raise strong silent sons, we come away from The Mama's Boy Myth heartened, inspired and actually optimistic about the futures of our sons (and the daughters who will share the world with them). Kate Lombardi presents a great deal of thoroughly-researched and carefully-examined material - ranging from Oedipus and Freud to very recent studies - with illuminating intelligence and clarity, but also with enveloping charm, warmth and wit. I'm left with the unfamiliar feeling that humanity may in fact be improving!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars fem perhaps
This book is fine as books go. I was a bit disturbed and nervous at first about it because I am definitely not a feminist. Read more
Published 1 month ago by E. sapp
5.0 out of 5 stars A Welcome Perspective on Raising Boys
I cannot recommend this book nore highly for those of us parenting boys. This book is a breath of fresh air and contains good evidence to support the ungendered raising of modern... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Sarah MacLaughlin
5.0 out of 5 stars Well researched, engaging, and timely
I truly enjoyed this book. It was an engaging read, is well organized, has arguments convincingly presented, and appears well researched. Read more
Published 5 months ago by EVR
2.0 out of 5 stars A Solution in Search of a Problem
This book seeks to take a cultural negative--the idea that a man is a "mama's boy"--and turn it into a positive. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Angelle Gullett
5.0 out of 5 stars What is everyone so scared of?
A recent Salon article exposed the recent trend toward gender selection in the US, a practice outlawed in many other countries. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Natasha Smith
5.0 out of 5 stars Finally!
At last, a book that defends what mothers of sons have known intuitively all along: there is nothing suspect to having a close bond with your child, and it helps him grow into a... Read more
Published 7 months ago by Tina Kelley
2.0 out of 5 stars Some Good Points
The Mama's Boy Myth by Kate Lombardi has a compelling premise however I found myself arguing with many points she made throughout the book. Read more
Published 10 months ago by BookFan
1.0 out of 5 stars Very odd
I just heard NPR's Laura Sullivan interview the author. I was shocked. In the sub-five minute interview, the author did not once mention the single most important factor affecting... Read more
Published 13 months ago by Alex in California
1.0 out of 5 stars A White Feminist anti-white male prejudices turned into an overnight...
Under the pretext of reexamining more carefully the natural closeness between boys and their mothers, this author uses a self-selected web-based survey to justify some rather... Read more
Published 13 months ago by Herbert L Calhoun
5.0 out of 5 stars An important book for mothers of daughters as well as sons
Fortunate enough to have a daughter and a son, I read this important book as both encouragement for a mother's instincts to unabashedly love our sons and a reminder of how... Read more
Published 14 months ago by Melanie Schaffran
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