on August 5, 2012
The Good: For Seduction
I will first express the positive aspects of this book, read below to find out my criticisms and the danger of following these rules. Let me first start of by saying that this book does provide tons of useful information to understand the dating world, females, and males; and how they all interact together. It begins with the philosophy and biology of males and females, which adequately explains a lot of the perceptions that people hold about what "attracts" someone to another person. This is all good information. It then explains the three "traits" that women find attractive in men:
1) Confidence: confidence is the "appearance" of being confident and decisive. The author explains that you do not need to actually "be" confident, but you must appear so through your outward appearance (movements, speech, actions, etc.) Since a woman is unable to actually read your mind, you are able to express exactly the appearance you want if you aware of your actions.
2) Responsibility: responsibility includes being a leader, dominant, and essentially doing what you, the man, wants to do. This borders somewhat on concepts of confidence.
3) Charm: charm is the ability to make others, in particular women, feel good about themselves and comfortable around you. This is done through the way you talk to them, your body language, and the topics of discussion.
Now the author explains that each of these skills will assist in building attraction in a woman. I do not disagree. Matter of fact, I intentionally adopted (over a few weeks of practice) these traits and before I knew it, I had an attractive girl chasing after "me" and begging to date me. My past history: I have never dated anyone seriously, and was afraid of interacting with girls. In a short amount of time, I had girl who asked me to be her boyfriend - which I did accept. Everything sounds fine, the book produced the results it promised with the ideas it presented... or did it? Read on to hear how my story ends.
The Bad: For Long Term Relationships
The book will most likely allow you to produce attraction in nearly any girl. But what this book does NOT focus on is actually keeping a relationship, or anything more than a hookup for that matter. The book contains a sections labeled as "The Relationship," which ironically is encompassed within 6 pages out of 300 page book. It states that you should not consider any girl worth a long term relationship until you had taken her to bed. Classy. Obviously the author is not interested in actually producing a real relationship with a women that contains anything other than sex and seduction.
For those of you who are interested in a long term relationship, this is not your book. I followed these techniques to obtain an attractive woman, but eventually found myself feeling empty and manipulative since I was not truly acting how I wanted to. Would you want to keep up the facade of being perfect by constantly employing techniques a book has bestowed on you for the rest of your relationship (or even marriage!?)? The Manual may allow you to produce attraction in females, but is that really all you want? If you seek to actually share your life with someone which the two of you can mutually understand and bond, using this books "techniques" will not get you far.
Back the end of my tale. After having dated this girl for the first month, she was completely enthralled in me. However, I was not happy with me. I was constantly monitoring myself to ensure I followed these rules - which led to my discomfort and feelings of manipulation and not being real. What I really wanted was a girlfriend, not just a sexual partner. So I consciously decided to take some of the ideas of the book such as confidence and being decisive and use them while eliminating the fear of being who "I" actually am. Over the next few weeks I saw a decline in her sexual interest as well as interest in me. Coincidence? Maybe, maybe not. But either way I became more satisfied with me, while slowly losing her.
Do these techniques/ideas work? Yes, I believe they do.
Should you buy The Manual and use them? Depends on what you are looking for.
1) Do you want to seduce and pickup women? Go ahead and buy this book.
2) Do you want to find a long term relationship? I would be hesitant to suggest this book.
This book doesn't teach you to be real with yourself or with your woman of interest. It encourages deception, which ultimately will lead to an unsatisfactory relationship in the long run. It is your choice, I presented my experiences with this book. Good luck.
on March 29, 2012
Those who have seen the movie 'The Tourist' starring Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie, probably remember the train scene where the two meet for the first time.
Depp plays a seemingly very apologetic man (Frank) and Jolie a very attractive and elegant woman (Elise) and she has her reasons to make contact with Frank. She spots him as she walks through the railcar, sits down right across him and looks him straight in his eyes as he quickly closes his book and stops smoking
Frank: I'm sorry
Elise: What for?
An awkward silence follows and Frank laughs uncomfortably
Frank: Mind me smoking? It's not a real sigarette blablabla (explanatory nonsense)
Elise: That's somewhat disappointing
Frank: Would you rather have me smoking for real?
Elise: I would rather you'd be a man who did exactly as he pleased...... I'm Elise
Frank: I'm Frank
(the conversation continues until Elise suggests something
Elise: Ask me to dinner frank
Frank: What? .... Okay...Would you like to have dinner?
Elise: Women don't like questions.
Frank: Join me for dinner
Elise: Too demanding
Frank: Join me for dinner?
Elise: Another question
Frank: ....I'm having dinner, if you'd care to join me
Elise smiles and accepts
Even though most hollywood movies dramatically misrepresent what women want in men, this scene brilliantly paints what women truly desire in men. And reading this book directly reminded me of this scene. If you want to become the type of man that Jolie describes in this scene, than this book will show you how to become that exact man. No gimmicks, no tricks, no scripts, no bs, only what's truly necessary to understand. What women want is not that complicated, you just have to be presented the right information.
I've become very successful with women myself through some critical self improvement, but I still like to read books like these from time to time. And this book has instantly become part of my top three books I'd recommend to any man looking to improve his dating life (the other two being How to Become an Alpha Male: Attract Women and Become Successful at Seduction and Models: A Comprehensive Guide to Attracting Women)
In this day and age so much dating advice equals a lot of clutter to go through just to get some useful information that will truly help. I've absorbed about all I could get my hands on. From pickup advice to advice by self proclaimed naturals to advice by female dating coaches, I've even taken two live courses by two different dating companies. So take it from a guy who knows what he is talking about. If there is a book that you should read, if you want the answer to what women want, if you want to learn how to be a real man that women can appreciate, then this is the book for you.
As for those writing skeptical reviews about this book without actually having read it and to those who are in doubt about the credibility of this book, I didn't get paid for this, I've also reviewed another book on here some time ago and I'm being honest with you when I tell you that you'll truly get your moneys worth out of this one.
Big ups to W. Anton for putting in the time and effort to create this masterpiece.
on March 11, 2012
Alright, I had to laugh at the guy claiming that this book sucked. I personally loved the book. No, it wasn't a "hold your hand and give you the cookie cutter outline" of how to meet and communicate with women. What it was, was simple. The book delves into the mindset of a man, vs a male.
The most important thing I took away from this book was that I need to stop being a "nice guy". I have been too nice. I am a man. I had better start acting like it. All of my girlfriends and my getting married came from how I was putting myself forward in a confident way. I didn't do any of it consciously.
After my wife leaving me with our five children, I chose to make the effort to figure out what in the hell had happened and why.
I learned from my studies that I wasn't the man that she had married. I recognize this now. I wasn't happy in the marriage anyway, so go figure.
The point is that I realized from reading this book that what had gotten me the girls up to that point and since was the confidence that I exuded.
Mr. Anton has done is create a manual about how you should be yourself and not try and be someone else. Don't be a pickup artist. Be a man that gets women. It is as simple as that.
I finished the book,(Yes, every page, all the way through) and have already been getting smiles and looks of appreciation from women that are younger and more attractive than any woman I have ever dated, even when I got married at 23 (I am now 39).
I highly recommend this book if you are wanting to be more of a Man and learn how to be yourself and confidently attract and communicate with beautiful women.
on November 15, 2012
So I know there is some question here as to whether all of these reviews are real. I did buy and read this book, and I did really like it. I will explain below why I can't give it a full 5 out of 5, but first I think I need to address some of the BAD reviews of this book that almost discouraged me from checking it out.
The bad reviews say they don't like this book mainly for two reasons: 1) it doesn't contain any "tricks" and 2) it encourages you to "act" a certain way, which is not how you would normally act, and you can't keep up this "act" forever. Both of these critiques, in my opinion, come from the very backward view of the man/woman relationship that this book is trying to correct! If you agree with these points, YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE BOOK. Period.
First, there are no "tricks" because YOU DON'T NEED TRICKS! The author DOES explain WHY you don't need tricks, and also why these tricks do APPEAR to work for some people though. READING COMPREHENSION. Did Cro-Magnon, early man pass around hieroglyphs on stone tablets explaining "tricks" to attract women??? SO HOW DID THEY GET TOGETHER AND MAINTAIN THE SPECIES THEN??? Apparently, some people don't understand that, just as two lions in the wild are able to get together and mate, strictly on instinct, in order to continue the species, without the use of "tricks", so are humans designed to also do just that. Otherwise how did we become the dominant species on the planet???
Second, this book does not advise you to put on an "act" that you are unable to maintain. It advises you to DISCARD the "act" you are ALREADY maintaining - the one society/entertainment media/other lonely people/etc. convinced you is how you should be acting. Again, just like all species on Earth, humans are inherently DESIGNED to get together and mate - the author of this book is merely advising you to get back in touch with those internal instincts you were born with, but that society has suppressed for one reason or another (reasons that the author does thoroughly explain in the book).
So the basic message of this book is that you were born with the ability to attract a woman (just as a male lion instinctively knows how to attract a lioness, and just like every other species on earth), but you have been influenced EXTERNALLY to suppress these instincts. No "tricks" or "acts" necessary - just strip off your bad socialization and be the REAL you.
I don't give this book a total 5 out of 5 because I do wish it had been a little bit more specific or given more examples. I do understand why the author chose not to though - his whole philosophy is that specifics aren't necessary (see above), but I personally would have gotten more out of the book with a little bit more specific information or examples.
But to use a metaphor, this book basically prescribes that as long as you learn how to pedal and maintain your balance (act in the way nature intended you to act), you don't need to know that the pedals turn the crank, which turns sprocket, which pulls the chain, etc. (exactly, specifically what to say to women) to be able to successfully ride a bike.
In closing, I would definitely recommend this book, although maybe it isn't the end-all-be-all on the topic.
on February 26, 2012
Ok, this is my first review and I'm not the best writer, but as a female, I can't recommend this book highly enough.
This book accurately and respectfully describes what we seek in a man and the steps a man needs to take to win us over. I learned a lot about my own behavior in this book (especially when the author talks about social conditioning) and had many 'A-HA' moments. It has validated what I have always desired in a man; the need to have a man that will take control, except responsibility, make me feel special and most importantly one who makes me feel safe. These are the things that make a woman feel confident in love and ultimately in sexual expression.
The other thing I love about the book is that it talks in depth about confidence, respect and taking chances. Something that shy or introverted guys may need to address before approaching girls.
And for the record guys, unlike what society and the media feeds you, you don't have to be a rich, successful alpha male to get the girl. You just have to show your masculine side. So do yourself a favor and stop reading those terrible books on picking up girls by using tacky one liners or even worse; manipulation (eergh!!!)
And if the author is reading this review. Please, please write a book for us women to understand men. We also need to be able to cut through all the media clutter and wrong perceptions out there. I have read a few books on dating now and they all seem to be written by either man haters or men that are players.
on May 10, 2015
This book espouses surprisingly well done, useful methodology for which a man can learn to understand certain particulars of attraction. One of the greatest aspects of this work is that a person will learn to see the world of relationships as a set of interactions that are based on a certain set of principles perpetuating either the movement towards a successful sexual interaction or away from. What the author offers is a deeper understanding of the manner in which a man could both view the world as well as how he could act to maximize his attractiveness. While I have no intention of completely outlining Anton's philosophy in this review, it may be helpful to highlight a few philosophies that he introduces in order for potential buyers to decide if this book will suit their needs:
- Attractiveness vs. Technique: "The Manual" concerns itself with acting in an attractive manner and handling interactions with women in a way that dramatically increases ones ability to influence situations in ones favor. As such, it promotes attitudes and behavioral patterns that make a surprisingly vast majority of women to view a man as highly attractive. In following the authors advice, suddenly there will be a pool of readily available women whom desire to be with you. This gives a man options and a supply of partners. What the book is NOT is a collection of techniques designed to manipulate certain reactions out of women. So, you won't find any explicit tactics to get a specific girl or personality type but rather will develop a means to have numerous attractive women as sexual partners, romantic lovers, etc. Simply put, there will be enough beautiful girls in your life that you won't be concerned about devoting resources to getting a specific woman. Such a distinction I feel is necessary because many young men who seek out dating advice are looking to "get" a particular person they might have strong feelings for and this might not offer any "PUA technique" to address a specific need. However, for those who have outgrown this stage of their lives will greatly appreciate having instead many women attracted to them due to their behavior.
- The concept of Responsibility: An interesting line of thought as presented in the book, this is a very useful principle that has use outside of the context of attracting women as well. Many people go through life in a sort of "in between" state of indecisiveness concerning most things. Women are no different and are apt to do this in the world of dating and sex as well. Extrapolating further on this point, women rarely have a hardline concerning men that they will either find a man a.) hideously unattractive, never having a chance with her or b.) so attractive that she will have sex with him within a minute of meeting him. Instead, given an unaltered state of mind, she is apt to operate within a spectrum of considering men along a range. Knowing this, there is a tendency to think of the possibility of a man as a prospective lover as a series of "maybes." Maybe I'll date him, maybe I'll let him kiss me, maybe I'll see him as a potential mate, etc. The concept of responsibility, as outline in this book, allows for a man to direct this ambiguity towards making a choice to meet his desires. Those maybes become: I'm going on a date with him, he's kissing me, he is my mate, etc. A tremendous concept when applied the way he teaches it that personally found to be key in having women become attracted to me and becoming very sexual very quickly.
Internal Factors - The author spends a lot of time offering a different perspective on how a man should potentially view the world. Though largely his opinion, this section of the book would benefit a lot of people and really is a collection of solid advice a father might give to his son. Encouraging a sense of selfishness and audacity may be counter to what society wants, but the author explains how such factors, normally viewed as a negative, can be useful for an individual.
I wanted to address a few concerns some people have stated in other reviews and answer them as I see it in order to help buyers decide for themselves if this book is for them. First, some feel his ideas are pseudo-science. Frankly I don't disagree but his stuff works. I mean there's a lot of resources out there for men looking to get woman but this book's concepts actually work. Somehow those trying to question the academic and scientific basis for Anton's work might appear as if they have not tried to apply the principles but rather just studied the book as if it were a textbook rather than a book of advice. The second criticism that seems to occur is that the author at times discusses the fact that some married women will cheat on their husbands. I think personally (just my opinion) to critique this book for its lack of morality guidelines is somewhat not properly reviewing the book based on what it is designed to do. "The Manual" shows you how to understand attraction not place an ethical compass on your life. One of the reasons I think the author does mention married women is because men who learn to attract women later in life (i.e. mid 20s and up) rather than those who are naturally attractive are surprised by the amount of committed women who will easily sleep around and do so guilt free. In the few years I have applied the principles of the book, it was almost heartbreaking for me to see how many women will claim to be sexually conservative, loyal to their husbands, not willing to have sex on the first date, etc. who will seek an attractive man out and have sex with him. There is almost an unspoken understanding that goes on in the world where women simply need to ensure that the world thinks of them as angelic like (i.e. loyal wives, perfect girlfriends, non-promiscuous) yet alone and in private are willing to have sex within a very short time of meeting an attractive man. To be completely forthcoming, I've almost given up on the idea that there are truly loyal women out there any more because these days it seems like the vast majority of beautiful women in committed relationships are very good at establishing and maintaining a façade of their positive qualities to their significant others and social circles while hiding the fact that they still routinely seek out sexual gratification unbeknownst to these people. So I will never feel it is my right to judge or tell others how to live their lives morally, but I think that men who have mastered attraction come to view such things as marriage and engagements as anachronisms of past traditions that very few women actually still adhere to since a majority of them are very willing to have relationships with other men despite being a wife or girlfriend. Another criticism of the book is the lack of "new material." I think this is untrue its just that Anton presents behavioral principles to follow rather than explicit techniques. People looking for those specific techniques might be better off looking at some of the PUA books out there or maybe even looking on Google to get what they want. Hope this review was helpful.
on June 23, 2012
I have read; "The Game," "The Mystery Method," "The Art of Seduction," "The Art of War for Dating," and countless other books--"THIS" book (The Manual: what women want and how to give it to them) makes them all seem like Kindergarden coloring books!The insights that the author shares and those that arose within my own mind from the inspiration elicited by this book are "powerfully" life-transforming! I found myself looking back at a time when my mind was not boggled by all the PUA techniques, peacoking, openers, etc--when things were simpler, more natural and what this author wrote made perfect sense! We have complicated the most basic instinct known to mankind!
This book gave me SOOO much confidence simply by pointing out the most basic things! It is "incredible!" This past week a co-worker flew up to work with me in my territory. On his last day we decided to go to a bar by the airport. What this book outlined stayed fresh in my mind and I am "NOT" exaggerating when I tell you that I left that bar that night with the phone numbers of 3 VERY hot girls recorded in my phone! Even the petite, baby blue-eyed bar tender kept giving me free drink after free drink! I was talking to a girl that would easily qualify as a 9+ who unexpectedly raised up her dress (all the way up) to prove to me that her body is a "perfect" as her face! To show me that she doesn't have a single stretch mark on her perfectly flat tummy! I will never forget how she looked in that hot pink thong that she was wearing underneath her dress!
The funny thing is that the co-worker who accompanied me to the bar on that day, I was convinced was a natural with the ladies, very good with women. He is always very funny, but that day what Anton shares in his book proved true! I had it all backwards! Funniness is not necessarily what enduces attraction. First the attraction is established and then the weight of that attraction makes almost anything that you do pleasant and funny! It is SOOOO true and accurate!
At first I was a little reserved with regards to purchasing this book because of the price, but after reading it I bought two more to give to my best friends as gifts! This is really powerful stuff, this author writes at the levels of other highly developed and great thinkers like David Deida (The Way of the Superior Man) and Ken Wilber (Integral Psychology).
Don't give any value to the negative reviews posted by people who have never even read the first page of this book. For these are the people whose closed mind will always keep them at the very level from which they strive to transcend or grow away from. A closed mind is a highly unatractive marker, a sign of fear and insecurity.
In closing, I just wish to state that I do not know this author from Adam. My review is posted with all sincerity from one who is TRULY grateful for what this author has shared with me. I am writing this review simply because I wish to share the same passage, the same road, the same window through which a new, more empowering, more fulfilling environment exists for you, ready for you to explore it and live it to the FULLEST! Trust me, after you read this book you too will be inspired to write your own review and inspire your fellow man to seek his highest potentials in all endeavors, but particularly with what brings us the most AMAZING joy in our lives---Women.
on March 28, 2013
This book gave me about a week and a half of the utmost confidence I've had in years. After reading and applying some of the things W. Anton writes about in regards to the mindset, I noticed an immediate change as to how I carried myself - and consequently how women reacted. The loss of confidence came through a series of unfortunate events - unrelated to the exposure of this book.
No "dating guide" gives all the answers, and it is foolish to seek the holy grail. However, this book certainly put me on the right track. I'd read other books like "The Game", and "Mystery Method" and other PUA books. These just did not make me feel genuine or comfortable. As a man favorable to algorithms and formulas, these books did not spin in the right direction. What they lacked was a sense of reality. These books seemed too far gone to ever be based in honesty. No doubt some of those PUA techniques work, but they made me feel like a mathematician rather than a "Casanova."
Anton's book provided a realistic framework to build from. Yes, some of his ideas are a bit misogynistic, but then again, some of his evidence plays true. This book gave me a true sense of what confident behavior might look like. Until I read this book I had had practically zero role models displaying confidence and this book gave me an IDEA, not complete, irrevocable truth, but an IDEA as to what that looked like. This idea was more easily adapted to my own personality than the PUA books have been (change this about yourself, dress this way, floss your teeth this way, drop your pants to pee this way, ETC...)
Overall a very good read for people who are unaware of the potential of the male masculinity. It gives a solid foundation that a true building of personality can be built upon.
on July 4, 2012
I recently stumbled into the art of "pick-up" (or PUA for short), starting with Neil Strauss' "The Rules of the Game" and moving on through a few other authors and gurus. What appealed to me was not so much the idea of scoring with tons of hot chicks (although that's a pleasant idea) but learning to more confident with women in general. Like many others, no one ever taught me what women really look for in a man or how to successfully interact with them. Many PUA materials have some great advice on improving one's game but often suggest gimmicks like wearing outlandish clothing, telling stories or spewing out rehearsed material, doing magic tricks, ignoring or putting down the woman you want, etc. -- in other words, approaching a woman in an indirect manner or in a way totally unrelated to your true intentions. To me, this always seemed just plain wrong, so I remained unconvinced by most of these books.
Then I learned about this book. Admittedly, I was daunted by the book's high selling price (it came out to nearly $40 with tax and S&H) without the availability of a cheaper Kindle version, as well as the high number of 5-star reviews written by people who did not review anything else. Yet many of the 5-star reviews were also composed by legitimate customers, so I went ahead and bought it. I figured that I didn't have much to lose. $40 is a small price to pay if it means obtaining some useful information that will last over the long run.
I just finished reading the book last night, and thankfully, it's well worth the money. The book is about 350 pages long and packed full of great info with no fluff or pointless digression. Anton gets right to the point on every page and details what he thinks are the most important ideas for a man to know. As the sultry cover suggests, "The Manual" serves primarily as a guide to seducing women into a relationship (which, let's not mince words, is what dating women is about whether or not it's towards a strictly physical connection or something more long-term), but it also includes a more basic guideline on how to be more of a man at a time where men are increasingly losing their sense of "manliness." This book, paired with Robert Glover's "No More Mr. Nice Guy," creates a powerful pair to restoring a man's masculine way of life. I must also state that Anton does not advocate any kind of "player" lifestyle. This book's subtitle ("What Women Want and How to Give It to Them") succinctly describes "The Manual's" primary goal: teaching men how to treat women the way that they actually want to be treated. Everybody wins.
"The Manual" breaks down a lot of our society's preconceived notions about sex and relationships, presenting many ideas that I believe are true. A few of many, many ideas presented include the pointlessness of "earning" women through big bucks, career advancement, or athletic prowess; the importance of being confident, direct in your intentions, and responsible for the progression of the relationship; the power of body language and strong eye contact in communication; the importance of meeting your own needs rather than adopting a "people-pleasing" mindset; and what women want according to their biology rather than their socialization. If I had read this book when I was 15 instead of 25 like I am now, things would have gone far differently for me in the decade between. This book is useful when it comes to interacting with anybody, not just women. I have already become more assertive at work and less concerned with gaining the approval of others overall, which has been a welcome change.
My only qualm with this book comes from Anton's advice that a man should ignore whether or not the woman he's pursuing is already taken or married. I suppose that this is my socialization talking, but I feel very strongly about such matters. Anton's rationalization is that it is up to the woman to make this decision, and that if she was being treated the way she wanted to by her man, she would not be unfaithful. I admit that I agree a great deal with this assessment, but the fact that Anton has indirectly admitted that he has bedded taken women still lowers my respect for him a notch.
Otherwise, "The Manual" is a very powerful book full of great advice that would serve any man well in his dealings with women and would serve any woman well in an attempt to learn more about her gender really works. I'm glad that I purchased it, and I intend to re-read chapters of this book every couple of nights to keep the material fresh in my mind for years to come.
on November 13, 2011
Anton makes a remarkable statement: "All women are willing to have sex with a man the very same day they meet him as long as they meet the right man." And what is the right man? One who exudes confidence in himself and who is direct with a woman on what he wants. Anton takes direct aim at the pick up artist books, mocking the idea that you need to know magic or wear some outlandish outfit to make progress with a woman.These are tactics showing low self esteem, not the mental state needed:I am important, I need to be pleased, I will act. Reminds me of Milton's line that" the mind is its own world and can make a heaven out of hell, or a hell out of heaven." The singular genius of the book is his attack on how we are socialized to act. Namely, that we expect to get woman from our achievments. He says that men mistake how they should treat their mother with how they should treat a woman. Your mom should be fawned over, but not a woman. Other gems of advice:women want to have sex but want to shift the responsibility onto the man;be audacious;be assertive("I want to go to dinner with you." not "Would you like to go to dinner?") Lots of others. A book to read and re-read.