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The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 Paperback – March 30, 2011

176 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Athol Kay is an innovative thinker, humorist and family man with a one track mind. He is a "Mixed Marital Artist" combining a variety of relationship approaches from evolutionary psychology, Pickup Artist "Game", sociology, biology, life experience, romance novels, crappy women's magazines, far too many books, blogging, behavior modification and cheap porn. He has distilled all this research into a few outstandingly effective tactics for gaining happiness and sex in marriage.

Athol was born in New Zealand and met Jennifer nine days before he was due to fly home after working on a summer camp in Maryland in 1991. Long distance for three years, they finally married in 1994. Married for 16 years, they have two daughters and live in Connecticut. They have a carefully balanced relationship where Athol dreams up all kinds of weird stuff, and Jennifer doesn't leave him.

The author is also aware that has painted himself into a corner by writing a book on monogamy. At around 112,500 words, it is the longest chastity belt in existence. It only chafes a little.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 344 pages
  • Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (March 30, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1460981731
  • ISBN-13: 978-1460981733
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (176 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #146,932 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Coming from a woman's perspective, this book hit RIGHT ON with the problems I was having being attracted to my husband. It actually tells men how to make their wives want them. It's written by a man, for men, and I appreciated that because the author gave examples with his own relationship with his wife on his daily interactions that work to help her lust after him. It made it much more concrete and real-life to us as the readers.

Not only does the book talk about why I was feeling less attracted to my very physically fit, tall, extremely athletic, highly intelligent, well-maintained, loving husband, but it gave specific steps for him to take in order to make me go crazy for him again. I had no idea it was as easy as him becoming more of an alpha-male at home with me. I knew I wanted him to be more assertive in the bedroom and generally in our married life together by making more or most of the decisions such as where we're going to eat or what we're going to do this weekend, but no matter how many times and ways I tried to tell him this, it didn't seem to compute because he's so polite with me and that's how he showed me love. This book not only explains to a man why and how to be assertive with women, but also has anecdotes of the author's personal relationship with his wife on little playful interactions and flirtation that a lot of men like my husband didn't do and didn't think to do. The author was able to put into words and communicate to my husband in a fun, comical way, what I could not, in explaining what I really wanted and needed in a man.

Be forewarned, the author sort of blames women for their unhappiness in the marriage and points the finger at women for helping to "create" men they won't desire. It wasn't until I read further, that I had to agree with him.
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51 of 57 people found the following review helpful By Typical Male on May 15, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is one of the most liberating books I have ever read. Pop culture would have males believe that speaking up for themselves and being a leader is somehow demeaning to women.

The feminist movement has for too long purported that the sensitive male is what women really want. They do. Everyone needs emotional closeness. But women also want men to be men. Women want men to lead. Testosterone is not the evil that the pop psychologists would have you believe. Being a man is not about demeaning or dominating or abusing your mate. It is about being a leader.

My wife is an immensely talented highly valuable career woman. Yet she wants me to be the leader at home.

The book gives married men good advice on being a better leader at home.
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33 of 40 people found the following review helpful By Brian M. on October 25, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I don't remember exactly how I cam across this book, I think I found Athol's blog and ordered the book from there, but I know that my wife and I have been having ongoing problems for years and I was ready to get out.

Enter the Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011. I blasted through the book in two days, Athol's style is informal and accessible (most of the content is modified from the blog) that makes this book an easy read despite a ton of content.

After reading the book I realize that being the "nice guy" husband isn't enough to get my needs met in the marriage and have started the "plan" to bettering myself. My wife responded positively almost immediately, but was confused at how abrupt the change was. I'm in a constant battle with myself right now, trying to undo years worth of self-defeating behaviors that I thought would help. Trust me, it's worth it.

Guys, I can not recommend this book highly enough. Athol provides a fresh new way of looking at your relationship and gives biological, evolutionary, and otherwise completely rational explanations for how relationships work.

If your wife has shut down on you and you're feeling trapped, the problem may not be that you just aren't doing enough housework, like I've seen other books recommend, but that you aren't giving your wife a man that is worth being attracted to.

In sum, if you're willing to put forth some effort, this book works. If you aren't getting what you want out of the marriage, try this first. It will save you a ton of money that you'll be spending on hookers or lawyers.
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20 of 24 people found the following review helpful By Jacqueline on May 23, 2011
Format: Paperback
Hi! I interviewed Athol for a woman's relationship blog and while he is indeed, very in your face and all about sex - and has standards that are improbable to meet for any living 40+ year old woman...but he's offering inside advice from a high level of having it all for a man - and having it all to give to a woman! His game is in fact a very high quality product. His book and his blog are written in a style that is controversial and provocative - but his advice isn't. He's sharp, articulate, knowledgeable and easy to read.

Read this book with an open mind and you'll find ideas you can tweak and use in your life as a woman. And - as a woman - it's always good to know what the guys are talking about! The "game" is a real phenomenon and if you are too prejudiced to learn the jargon and the theory, there's a good chance you'll be played. Athol's radical blunt honesty may be easily dismissed but do so to your own detriment. I agree with the reviewer who said she'd recognized a pattern she'd never wanted in her life - and now wanted her man to step up.

And - by the way - before you decide you can judge Athol's character by his writing or his horndogedness....please refer to page 240 where he brackets in "How to Say I Love You," the sidenote - "hopefully you mean this and are not just a lying....jerk (paraphrased!)" He's realistic: give yourself a year to move yourself up a point on the desirability meter; confident: don't ask do you want to have coffee, say "I'm going for coffee, want to come?"; and actually champions monogamy with a realistic view of how much effort it takes to make a relationship an ongoing courtship.
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