Becoming a mother is filled with the extremes of emotion --the highest highs and the lowest lows. But women are often reluctant to talk honestly about the experience for fear they'll be seen as bad mothers. With wit and candor, The Mask of Motherhood takes on the myths and the misinformation, helping women to prepare and deal with the depth of feeling that comes with the experience and perhaps most important, it lets them know that many, if not most, new mothers are feeling the same way. Susan Maushart, sociologist and mother of three, explores how motherhood affects our marriages and friendships, our relationships with parents, our sex lives, and our self-esteem. In The Mask of Motherhood, mothers will find the comfort and reassurance they are looking for, and confirmation that, indeed, motherhood is the toughest job in the world, but can also be the most rewarding.
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About the Author
Susan Maushart is a columnist for Weekend Australian Magazine and is heard regularly on ABC Radio as host of the acclaimed online series "Multiple Choice." Maushart has a PhD in Media Ecology from New York University and her book The Mask of Motherhood was hailed by the London Times as "a feminist classic." She lives in Australia but will be returning to live in the Long Island, New York, area this winter.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
154 of 154 people found the following review helpful
By Penny
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
I was prompted to write a review to counter some of the negative reviews that I read about this book on this site. I bought it despite the negative reviews because it came so highly recommended by a friend. I wasn't sorry at all. This is an excellent look at the realities of motherhood for all women, but I think particularly for women who are older & have been engaged in an active professional life for some period of time. I have a number of friends who really could have benefitted from the author's insights into the adjustments to motherhood.
Because of the negative reviews, I admit that I read it on the lookout for evidence that the author was biased against motherhood or for any indication that she herself didn't enjoy motherhood. I found no evidence of this at all! She's not arguing that women who had an easy time with delivery and/or enjoy breastfeeding are lying. She's simply pointing out that it is an adjustment for many women, and yet it's not necessarily discussed (which leaves many women wondering if they are normal or not).
Her chapter on breastfeeding is *not* anti-breastfeeding. It is obvious that she is not a proponent of the attachment theory of parenting (Sears et al). But, for goodness sakes, just because one doesn't necessarily believe in demand feeding doesn't mean one is anti-breastfeeding!
I also thoroughly enjoyed her chapters on The Juggled Life (balancing career & outside interests with motherhood) and the Superwoman chapter on gender roles that may play out in marriages after the arrival of the first baby.
I highly recommend this book -- it's excellent "food for thought," whether you're considering having children, are pregnant or already have one or more children.
76 of 79 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
I am a mother of a 19-month old and read this book several months ago. I was looking for confirmation that the feelings I was experiencing as a new mom were not unique to me, odd, or unusual. This book encouraged me to relax and trust myself. I've asked friends and my sisters to share their feelings of motherhood -- whether they experienced any negative feelings about the change in their lifestyles, etc., and not one could relate to what I was talking about -- they all simply showered me with how great their kids are...This book descibes that process as typical as we are raised not to complain or label any of the feelings associated with motherhood as negative, no matter how valid those feelings might be. I adore my child -- that is not even in question, and this author seemed to capture the thought process I've experienced as a tired working mom. I recommend this book to any mom who is looking for a honest answer to her question "do you ever feel..."
42 of 42 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
I wish I had found this book three years ago when I was struggling with post-partum blues, then maybe I wouldn't have felt so alone. I wish I had found this book when I couldn't keep breastfeeding my two, then maybe I wouldn't have felt like a failure or guilty because I wasn't a "good enough mom." This book had me nodding my head throughout the entire book ~~ and yes, there were points that I disagreed with but that's because it wasn't relevant to my situation. This is a must-read for all moms who are overwhelmed with taking care of children and juggling work and childcare.
Unlike some of the reviewers in here, I did not find this book to be negative. I found the author to be concise and thoughtful in her narrative. She shared with the reader her experiences and was honest. She did not make it sound like motherhood is a negative thing ~~ just sometimes, women get blindsided by reality that they had little or no prior knowledge of what to expect. Women just do not talk about these things. Women just do not talk about their lack of breastfeeding experiences or how overwhelmed they are when they are first home with their children and how overwhelmed they get when they go back to work. Sometimes, even the spouses don't help out and they (both mothers and fathers of newborns) find out that they've fallen in traditional roles. However, she did point out that it's just as much as the women's fault as the men's in allowing that to happen. (That is one chapter I read with misgivings because it doesn't fit in my life and perceptions of what is like in my own family.)
This is an informative book ~~ one that I urge all mothers read. It is enlightening and honest. It is not a dry book ~~ it is very interesting and pretty fast paced for me. I did not find this book to be negative in complaining about motherhood. Reality is reality and sometimes, it's hard to bear. I know that I denied my first year of motherhood ~~ I didn't want to admit that I struggled with a lot of issues that were going on at that time. No one wants to admit that being a mother is hard sometimes and that it's tedious, boring and sometimes, just too much. But isn't that true of life? Being a mother may be a job but it is a job that spans over an entire lifetime ~~ and like any job, there are moments of pleasure, joy and tedium.
Any woman who wants to stop feeling alone should read this book. It's worth it.
5-15-06
Unlike some of the reviewers in here, I did not find this book to be negative. I found the author to be concise and thoughtful in her narrative. She shared with the reader her experiences and was honest. She did not make it sound like motherhood is a negative thing ~~ just sometimes, women get blindsided by reality that they had little or no prior knowledge of what to expect. Women just do not talk about these things. Women just do not talk about their lack of breastfeeding experiences or how overwhelmed they are when they are first home with their children and how overwhelmed they get when they go back to work. Sometimes, even the spouses don't help out and they (both mothers and fathers of newborns) find out that they've fallen in traditional roles. However, she did point out that it's just as much as the women's fault as the men's in allowing that to happen. (That is one chapter I read with misgivings because it doesn't fit in my life and perceptions of what is like in my own family.)
This is an informative book ~~ one that I urge all mothers read. It is enlightening and honest. It is not a dry book ~~ it is very interesting and pretty fast paced for me. I did not find this book to be negative in complaining about motherhood. Reality is reality and sometimes, it's hard to bear. I know that I denied my first year of motherhood ~~ I didn't want to admit that I struggled with a lot of issues that were going on at that time. No one wants to admit that being a mother is hard sometimes and that it's tedious, boring and sometimes, just too much. But isn't that true of life? Being a mother may be a job but it is a job that spans over an entire lifetime ~~ and like any job, there are moments of pleasure, joy and tedium.
Any woman who wants to stop feeling alone should read this book. It's worth it.
5-15-06
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Sjajno
Zaista ne znam sta da napisem. Sve je stiglo lepo upakovano ... knjiga je ok. Nije lose imati je ...
Published 4 months ago by Bojan Velickovic
5.0 out of 5 stars
Helped me adjust
This book helped me through that unbelievably difficult adjustment to my life as a mom. I had my daughter at age 36 and was not expecting how terribly hard it would be to give up... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Dawn Pearson
5.0 out of 5 stars
This booked has changed my life!!!
I was literally getting ready to make a doctors appointment to be tested for bipolar 2 disorder. I started doing some research about how hard it is to be a mother and this book... Read more
Published 16 months ago by Linz
5.0 out of 5 stars
Eye opener
Already pregnant and too late to go back now (not that I would want to) but it is a very good book to open your eyes to what it might be light on the 'other side'. Read more
Published 20 months ago by B. Habina
5.0 out of 5 stars
saved my life as a new mom - must read! (for smart women)
as a new mom, the book really saved me. but let me be clear - it is written for a well educated audience. yes, that's condescending, but it's true. Read more
Published on January 31, 2011 by mama1024
1.0 out of 5 stars
Sadly ironic title for Maushart's book.
Apparently, Susan Maushart views the conception-pregnancy-birth road to motherhood the only path worth giving voice to as she does not acknowledge those who come to motherhood... Read more
Published on June 6, 2010 by C. Harryman
2.0 out of 5 stars
Not what I'd hoped for
I liked the idea of this book, had read a transcript of a Susan Maushart interview and thought she sounded authentic. Read more
Published on June 1, 2009 by goonius
5.0 out of 5 stars
smart and honest
As a woman who is deciding whether or not to have a child, I was attracted to the title of this book as one that would perhaps balance out the messages I'm getting from friends,... Read more
Published on August 20, 2008 by Elizabeth
5.0 out of 5 stars
Required Reading!
Mask of Motherhood should be required reading for any new mommy. I have six year old twins and just recently discovered this book. Read more
Published on March 28, 2008 by smileyface_girl
5.0 out of 5 stars
Eye Opening
Before I got my hands on this book the only things I had heard about motherhood were tales that might as well have come straight from the glossy pages of a parenting magazine. Read more
Published on July 26, 2007 by Lilac Lily
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