I have struggled with the idea of whether to review this book or not because this book is a memoir about someone's actual life. But I have been mulling this book over for a few weeks since I read it, and frankly, I am mystified as to how it has garnered so many 5 star reviews.
I absolutely loved the first half of the book. I truly did. It was a real, moving, lovely tribute to her dad, known as "Greenie". The anecdotes about him and her early growing up years were so funny. Her description of her family members was so detailed and she gave so many humorous accounts of them, I felt as if I knew them. I also thought how much I would love to have Kelly as a friend. She sounded funny, spunky, and real. If she had stopped the book right there, just as a wonderful reminiscence of her life growing up with her family, I would not be writing what I am about to write.
But just past the second half of the book, the writer's tone and the content becomes whiny, self indulgent, leaving the author sounding like a spoiled child who needs to grow up. She recounts several seemingly unrelated episodes in which she is either bemoaning someone's insensitivity to her needs or is patting herself on the back for how strong she is when she needs to be. Her example of her strength? When she was in the delivery room, she kept screaming "I can't do it!" when it was time to push. But in the end, she stepps up to the plate and pushed, giving birth to her child! What else was she going to do, NOT have the baby?! It is the self-congratulatory way she perceives herself in this instance that is irritating.
The other episodes in which she is complaining about someone's insensitivity reads like a personal diary entry - one we all may make now and then when feeling particularly sorry for ourselves, but not a diary entry we ever expect anyone else to read. She complains that she can't have any more children (she already has two). Then there is the incident at the dinner party with friends where two male friends are talking about how far they have come in getting themselves healthy and in shape. The author then throws a wet blanket on the conversation with them with a "what about poor old me" monologue about how broken she feels since her cancer, and how her body has failed her. Then there is the time she runs into an old acquaintance on the street who hasn't seen her since her cancer and makes a series of very benign remarks about one thing or the other that Kelly finds insensitive, and then states how this "friend" will blanch later when she learns Kelly has cancer and remembers what she said to Kelly. She complains about her husband and his closeness to his family (how ironic is that?), complaining about how he calls them on the weekend when she feels he should be devoting his time exclusively to her and their two children. The poor guy sounded so hen pecked based on her description of the conversation she had with him, I felt sorry for him. And he ends up agreeing, not unagreeably, to no longer phone his parents on the weekend when she is around, but when he is driving home from work!
The only real conclusions I felt the author reached at the end of the book were: (a) until she experiences the death of a parent, she doesn't feel she will really be an "adult", and (b) no one will ever admire, cherish, and idolize her like her father does. The best piece of advice in the entire book comes from her mom. The advice she gives, just prior to Kelly becoming engaged, is for Kelly to not expect too much from people in life because if you don't expect a whole lot, you will never be too disappointed. Sadly, I think Kelly might come across as a happier person had she considered this advice. She seems to expect a lot from everyone throughout the book.
I think the author is a talented writer, and, again, I thoroughly enjoyed the first half of the book. And I think with a bit more editing, or perhaps as a series of essays, this book could have been a better read. But not as a full length book with no conclusions or resolutions of much depth.
For a really touching memoir about parenthood and dealing with aging parents (with a twist) that was written with depth and introspection, I highly recommend "Accidentally on Purpose" by Mary Pols.
