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The Misanthrope's Guide to Life: (Go Away!) [Kindle Edition]

Meghan Rowland , Chris Turner-Neal
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Misanthrope, n.: 1.) One who hates mankind; a curmudgeon; a loner; 2.) The guy in your office who responded to your e-mail of baby photos with "D-. Passing, but not college material"; 3.) A Realist
From The Misanthrope's Guide to Life

In this guide, you'll learn how to get away from the pain-in-the-asses who make you seriously consider investing in a fallout shelter and making it your new home. You'll take isolated comfort in these survival strategies, including how to:

  • Conduct managed incoherence to get the delivery boy from the lobby to your door
  • Take a "French leave" in order to eat alone at work
  • Get ousted from your kickball league by dressing as Magnum, P.I. for every game
  • Get back at the jerk yapping on his cell phone by reciting the lyrics to Harry Chapin's version of "Cat's in the Cradle"
  • End a conversation by "Gwynething" (also known as playing the "I'm delightfully foreign" act) someone to death

This is the survival guide you will be annoyed not to have.



Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Meghan Rowland, a group-therapy dropout, was the only girl in kindergarten with a John Larroquette lunchbox. Chris Turner-Neal, an only child, is a graduate of James B. Bonham Middle School, where he received an F in participation. Together, they write the award-winning comedy blog 2birds1blog.com, a collection of crass musings, investigative reporting, and sarcasm widely hailed as "the thinking man's Beavis and Butthead." Sharing an author bio is an uncomfortably intimate experience for both of them.

Product Details

  • File Size: 1239 KB
  • Print Length: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Adams Media (August 18, 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005R9HF8E
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #538,362 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
28 of 28 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars There are more of me out there? November 26, 2011
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
It was only in the last few years I began to embrace and appreciate my preference for aloneness and, since misanthropes tend to avoid situations in which they could meet others like themselves, I've been wondering if there was really anyone out there like me. The Misanthrope's Guide to Life: (Go Away!) provided the first hint of camaraderie I have been able to tolerate in my lifetime. Meghan and Chris's thoughts are my thoughts; their skewed humor and view of life, much like my own. But I didn't have to pay attention to body language and decide whether to respond to or ignore a plethora of social cues. All the fun without all the...people. I purchased this book for Kindle, avoiding inevitable chit-chat with the clerk at the bookstore who, regardless of the fact that I'm buying a book about avoiding people, thinks that I like to talk about what I am buying ("Just ring up the damn books and tell me how much to pay!"). It's funny, sarcastic, but real in a way only another misanthrope can understand and appreciate.
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57 of 65 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing August 31, 2011
Format:Paperback
This book was so good, if I went to prison with the authors I would protect them in the shower.
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18 of 21 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Best Bathroom Reading Ever October 6, 2011
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This book has rapidly become a must-have staple in my bathroom reading. It's small, so it doesn't take up much counter-space, and its chapters are handily broken up into little segments, so you don't have to set it down in the middle of an important part. Also, it's hilariously funny. Sometimes I remove it from the bathroom and read it in other rooms of the house, and it's still extremely funny. Whether you spend a lot of time in the bathroom or not, I heartily recommend this book.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
As a fellow misanthrope, there are courtesies that are unspoken (like the hand wave in traffic), that normally would send me into a tirade filled with vitriol and fervor - reading on today's Twitter that this book can be downloaded for "free" (meaning no-cost) was one of those moments that turned into a Christmas Miracle of sorts, because the book and their blog and their tweets are so funny that even as a misanthrope, I am happy for the misanthrope-challenged population who will be given the opportunity to educate themselves about those of us who avoid them at all costs, and understand that it really is us, not them. I not only downloaded and paid for the book on my Kindle last month, I bought paperback copies for my friends and coworkers, because again, it is that funny! And real. Thanks Meg and Chris, and you're welcome.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Did you follow me around to write this book? October 26, 2011
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I have been a fan of the blog 2birds1blog.com since before Meg got fired for writing anonymously about the company she worked for (which I mention only because the situation brought out the best of Meg). I love each and every post, and am thrilled that now with The Misanthrope's Guide to Life (Go Away!) I get to have a bit o' Meg and Chris to call my very own (without the hassle of stalking, and logistical problems of how to physically get a bit of them...).

By the time my relationship with Misanthropes was only a few chapters old, I felt like I must have had a stalker. I mean, I must have been tailed quite closely for the authors to have reached in to my soul and laid bare on a word processing program exactly who I am inside and what is right/wrong with me.

By the end of the book, I feel like I need to purchase multiple copies to give out to people who try to "get" me. Mom, sister, brother? Christmas is coming.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
As a true misanthrope, someone who has trouble finding the desire to be around people (to exist in the world in general), due to the ludicrous nature of humanity, I found this book to be a slap in the face.

The intro to the book is just a poorly written "love" story about how the two authors met when they were children and bonded over their supposed hatred of others (as well as love of cigarettes and alcohol, how cool). And then, the rest of the book, I s*** you not, is just kitschy joke "advice" about how the misanthrope should handle everyday life situations. 'What to do when you throw a party and you want everyone to leave'. I've never thrown a party, nor will I, due to my DISLIKE OF OTHER HUMANS. Hence, misanthropy.

It's incredibly obvious that the book is written by two hipsters who take an excessive amount of pride in standing out in a crowd, while still making absolutely sure that they are an integral part of the crowd. The hipster credo.

So if you're looking for a book to make you feel cooler than everyone else around you, to boost your self esteem and make you feel like you're not like everyone else, even though you think the same and act the same, then by all means grab this book.

But if you dislike humanity, have a hard time coping with the real world, and are looking for honest, intellectual help with how to deal with your anger and aggression towards a senseless world, I urge you to look elsewhere. This book will only aggravate those feelings.

best of luck,
Allen Leper Hampton

PS- A note to the authors: I destroyed your book so that no one else would have to read it again. I hope you see this.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Funny stuff! August 20, 2011
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
A funny take on how to deal with real-life situations. If you're not shy about the f-word, it's a good, snappy read.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars Girl Book
Its more for women.
Published 1 month ago by Chen Y.
5.0 out of 5 stars Great humor (and tips) for the socially awkward
Hysterically funny book for those presenting misanthropic tendencies, or those who know them. I couldn't sleep, looked in my Kindle collection of interesting books I had (from... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Theresa Reardon
4.0 out of 5 stars You like to be alone. You're not alone.
Funny book, but if you have none of the qualities of a misanthrope, you might be a bit puzzled by their way of thinking. Read more
Published 5 months ago by ReasonableGoatPerson
1.0 out of 5 stars Not Funny
For misanthropes they tend to try way to hard to be witty and end up just sounding like antisocial bores who are way too enamored with their own mediocre writing and insignificant... Read more
Published 16 months ago by Clifford Olsen
5.0 out of 5 stars Yes
I don't like much of anything, but this was a good one. I could identify with much of it and it was well written and funny.
Published 16 months ago by Lisa Burrell
3.0 out of 5 stars Could have been more.
Quite entertaining, but I would have liked more serious discussion of the reasons that people display such hatred towards each other.
Published 17 months ago by Crest
4.0 out of 5 stars I know people like this.
This book was recommended by a colleague who I used to work with. We used to have conversations about strange people we knew and now we both understand them better, or do we.
Published 20 months ago by Paul
1.0 out of 5 stars utter garbage
A complete waste of money. Infantile, lazy, poorly-written, unedited, sophomoric, shallow, pointless self-promotion. Not even worth free distribution, possibly self-published.
Published 20 months ago by Paul Wiener
4.0 out of 5 stars ...so you're not a 'People Person?'
I recently ordered a 'sample' of this on my Kindle, and am seriously considering buying the book! The authors keep you laughing with their hilarious examples and comments on the... Read more
Published 22 months ago by ssanderson
1.0 out of 5 stars Not funny.
I did not find this book amusing. I tried to give it a chance but it just seemed to get worse and worse. It may just be that it's not my kind of humor. Read more
Published 22 months ago by THONG PHAN
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