Peggy Vaughn, who's been featured on Oprah! and CNN, has helped thousands of folks recover from affairs. As the extramarital-affairs expert behind AOL's "Ask Peggy" forum and as a woman who's been married for 40 years to her high school sweetheart--who cheated on her for seven years while she kidded herself that he was remaining faithful--she certainly knows what she's talking about. She says that to successfully overcome an unfaithful spouse or companion, you have to work through the myths of monogamy. It's not just men, or men who travel a lot on business, or women with supermodel good looks, who cheat. It's people of all ages, all occupations: from pastors to postal workers to, well, presidents. In other words, everyone is at risk for betraying or being betrayed.
Studies conservatively estimate, Vaughan reveals, that 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair. "These figures are even more significant when we consider the total number of marriages involved, since it's unlikely that all the men and women having affairs happen to be married to each other," she says. "If even half the women having affairs (or 20 percent) are married to men not included in the 60 percent having affairs, then at least one partner will have an affair in approximately 80 percent of all marriages."
Vaughn outlines the societal causes and supporters of affairs, from the commercialization of sex in every visible nook and cranny of our world to our lifelong tendency to surround sex with secrecy. She also lists the common desperate measures that people take when they suspect they're being cheated on, and why they don't work. (Vaughn herself resorted to becoming a gourmet cook, wearing sexy underwear, and acting like a sex fiend in bed, all to no avail.) She also tells what to expect during a confrontation, and includes copious techniques for rebuilding self-esteem. There's also information about how to choose a marriage counselor or group therapist and, even more important, when to stop seeing one. For couples--especially those with children--debating whether to divorce or remain married, there's plenty of proven guidance to be found here. --Erica Jorgensen --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Great book after recent discovery of spouse's affairs. Helps to see that it's not just you that feels all these crazy emotions. Offers practical advice to move forward.Published 7 months ago by Janette Burleigh
Great book! So smart, it will help you to understand your situation and decide what to do in your future life.Published 9 months ago by Olga S.
It really helped me to heal from the initial trauma and have some hope for the future. At least, knowing that she and many others went through the same ordeals and exactly the same... Read morePublished 10 months ago by Ilena
Ms. Vaughan shares a lot of solid information borne out of personal experience. This information can help someone suffering the results of infidelity and asking those all to... Read morePublished 12 months ago by Paul Williams
As a cheater, I found a lot within this book that helped me understand the feelings my spouse experienced from learning of my affairs. Read morePublished 15 months ago by nutnbutme
After reading six books about my spouse's of 38 years affair, this book made me question myself as well as the so called experts and showed me how to think for myself beyond what... Read morePublished 15 months ago by Amazon Customer
I have been struggling since my wife revealed five years ago about having some affairs. I thought it was all behind us until the told me a few months ago that it had been... Read morePublished 17 months ago by Amazon Customer
I bought this book because it was recommended by Oprah I believe. I trust her recommendations and I did learn some from this book. Read morePublished 18 months ago by Belinda