How does motherhood change you? Who or what do you become when you become a mother? "We can't begin to know what our children will evoke in us until we have them," says psychologist and psychotherapist Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of the bestselling The Dance of Anger. Lerner set out to write a book on parenting, and ended up with a thoughtful and honest book focusing on the experience of being a mother--a woman's experiences, needs, and changes as she travels through the trials and pleasures of pregnancy, birth, power struggles, guilt, anxiety, relationship challenges, sibling struggles, and separation. Filled with personal stories and case studies, The Mother Dance offers mothers-to-be a guide for the road ahead, and women who are already mothers will recognize their own dilemmas and situations, and gain clarity about their experiences. Throughout, Lerner is wise, personal, and truthful about her own failings. This book is a welcome addition to the recent discourse on the mothering experience. --Ericka Lutz --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
A popular psychotherapist writes with grace and striking candor about what it is like to be a mother. Lerner (The Dance of Deception, 1993, etc.) has two sons, both now grown and out of the housebut still friends with their mother and father, and with each other. That is no small accomplishment, and while Lerner gives herself and her husband (also a psychologist) appropriate credit for what they did right, she also looks back regretfully on what she did wrong. ``Readers . . . [of] my other books may be surprised to learn that I can behave so badly with my own children,'' she writes, a confession that is designed to give comfort to every mother who suffers from hindsight guilt. Using anecdotes from her own experience and that of colleagues and friends, Lerner looks at issues of control (``we are not in control of what happens to our children''), at the decision to have children (``a leap of faith''), at how the reality of the baby in the bassinet at home affects the relationship with a spouse (it changes, not always for the worse, but it changes). She also describes the wild extremes of emotion that many new mothers entertain, from ``intense elation'' to murderous rage, and roller coasters of guilt and fear. A self-styled ``big worrier,'' Lerner also offers advice on how to finesse worrying, power struggles, and such common mothering traps as food, sex, dress codes, and raising sons to be ``mama's boys.'' How siblings develop relationships with each other and the intricate networks of extended families are other subjects she tackles. Entertaining and revealing. Lerner's committed readers will enjoy and perhaps be reconciled to their own parenting styles from this view of her as a mother who is sometimes irrational, sometimes wise, but who loves her children ``beyond words.'' -- Copyright ©1998, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.See all Editorial Reviews
Doesn't even deserve one star. I have raised two daughters who are doing very well thank you. I was thinking this might be a nice book to read, I threw my copy away. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Teresa
Addresses a lot of the issues and surprising feelings that come when you decide (or are surprised by a pregnancy) and you take your first child home. Read morePublished 9 months ago by Joyce