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on May 21, 2009
These colors don't run, but the wolves do, fast. For your best chance of survival, hold very still and avoid eye contact. I got this shirt because it is a smokey blue. (the only blue I'll ware) The graphics were just a bonus. But more and more I've grown to love these guys. See, I think the wolf should replace the bald eagle as our mascot because the wolf is only found in the United States, and they're bad. The bals-eagle, however, has been extinct for years and when they were alive, they were everywhere.
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on May 21, 2009
When I saw this image, I knew it would put my neighbor's patriotic lawn display of painting the rusted car on his front lawn red white and blue, and draping his trailer with American flags stolen from the memorial cemetery, to total shame. I'm going to wear it while sitting in front of my home in an inflatable kid's pool while knocking back the cold ones all summer just to rub it in his face!
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on May 22, 2009
The manufacturers have forgotten to list two important facts about this product. You need to know the following prior to purchase:

1.) If this shirt comes within 100 yards of the 3WM shirt, the theme from Team America World Police will start to play so loudly it will literally obliterate all matter within a 1 mile radius. Only the wearers of the shirts are protected, no other technology can guard against this.

2.) This shirt comes with a secret version of the 1040 form that allows you to not have to pay taxes again ever because you are too patriotic. Any further attempts for the IRS to collect any tax will be dealt with by wolves, possibly wolves with laser eyes. No agents have ever survived, so eyewitness accounts are sketchy at best.
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on February 3, 2011
So there I was, taking sniper fire behind an abandoned mosque in Fallujah. The air was hot, and so was the gunfire. But nothing was hotter than the American Flag-themed THREE WOLVES t-shirt I wore underneath my fatigues. Sweat dripped from my forehead as I glanced down to the Wolves, as usual, for their steely reassurance.

Suddenly, a blast. An IED had exploded and before the dust settled, I could tell that my t-shirt was compromised. Shrapnel had pierced my sleeve and nicked the shoulder portion of the shirt. Though I bled heavily, none of the wolves were hit and the flag still waved proudly across my chest. I heaved a sigh of relief. But then I noticed that my buddy Gomez had taken a serious hit in the attack. In fact, he lost his left hand and his arm dangled helplessly as blood pooled underneath.

Gomez looked to me and asked to do what was necessary to stop the bleeding. I knew what had to be done. So I grimly removed my fatigue jacket, and removed my THREE WOLVES t-shirt. I twisted the t-shirt into a tourniquet and applied it to Gomez's left arm, just above the elbow. I applied some pressure - the wolves supplied the rest. As I waited for the bleeding to slow, I was sure I heard wolves howling in the distance, even as sniper fire continued to pelt our position.

What happened next defied all logic and physics. But I swear before God, Larry the Cable Guy, and all that is Holy - the bleeding quickly stopped and Gomez's left hand GREW BACK. Just like that. I nearly passed out from the shock of seeing it. Gomez couldn't believe it either. I unwrapped the makeshift tourniquet and unfurled the shirt to see if the wolves were okay. All three of the majestic canines nodded approvingly in front of that grand American Flag, as Gomez calmly hummed the Star-Spangled Banner. It was beautiful. God Bless America, and God Bless the "American Flag Three Wolves" T-Shirt.
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on May 27, 2009
Sitting atop the grassy plains, the majesty and power of the three wolves (which represent the three branches of our government) proudly watch and defend our land from terrorists and gays. I am looking for the artist of this exquisite print. I am an art history professor at the University of Arkansas and I am absolutely in awe of the artistry and power of this print. Bravo artist, bravo.
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on May 22, 2009
Forget the three-moon wolf shirt. This is the Platonic form of awesome. In fact, I was reading the Dialogues the other day for a class, and Plato himself said, "If you want to understand Platonic forms, look at the Wolf Flag T-shirt. It's the epitome of what awesome can be." I answered the question about Platonic forms with just, "Dude, Wolf Flag shirt." My professor gave me 300% on the quiz and asked me to come over for lobster and "dessert." I hope she's making chocolate cheesecake!

I find that, given the combination of awesomeness, wolves, and Old Glory, I get mistaken for Snake Eyes (from G.I. Joe) a lot. That wasn't really a big deal one way or the other until, one day, I got a royalty check from Hasbro. That was pretty sweet.
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on June 9, 2009
I bought this shirt to run up the flag pole I had just installed in front of my puppy mill. And when I did something magical happened. Both my hand, and crotch, saluted it. And just as both of them reached a rigidity that only patriotism can create, a Bald Eagle or maybe a Pigeon (I can't tell) landed on top of that flag pole. It was there just long enough for the sprits of Native Americans past to rush up through my clogs and out my Brett Michaels headband. With that the Eagle-Pigeon flew away, leaving me with only my love for my country and an erection.
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on May 5, 2011
I am a member of Navy Seal Team 6, just call me Wilson.

When word came down from HQ that we were taking down Bin Laden, I knew the time had come to break out our secret weapon. When I pulled out the box of American flag Wolf T-Shirts, the box glowed and gave the faint noise of wolves howling the US National Anthem. When I put the shirt on, my already stoic muscles doubled in size and not an ounce of fat could be found on my body. With the power of the American Flag Wolf T-Shirt I nearly cried, but Seals do not have tears to shed. I dispersed the rest of the T-Shirts to my squad and grabbed my gear.

The chopper ride to Bin Laden's secret hideout was quiet, with all the other Seal's holding back the urge to fight each other for dominance. Once at Bin Laden's compound, we didn't need to repel from the chopper, Team 6 just jumped the 200' to inside the compound. While jumping, I accidentally hit the chopper's rotor with my T-Shirt, shattering it and causing the chopper to crash.

Once in the compound, all the women ran to us wishing we would make sweet love to them, but we did not have time. Bin Laden's men cowered in the corner. We shot and killed them to show our dominance.

On the second floor I found Bin Laden, who quickly ran for his Ak-47. I would have shot him, but his wife was on me kissing my neck, preventing a clean shot. Bin Laden unloaded his Ak-47 on me, but my American Flag Wolf T-Shirt repelled the 7.62 bullets. Then as the room filled with wolves howling the US National Anthem, two bullets bounced off my T-Shirt hitting Bin Laden in the chest & above the left eye. I shot Bin Laden's wife in the leg, to get her off of me and grabbed Bin Laden's body. As the new Alpha Male of Team 6, my pack blew up the crashed chopper and we left mission completed. - Geronimo EKIA
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on June 10, 2009
As I slid the shirt over my head, the first thing I noticed was obviously the comfort. They don't make fine cotton products like this in China. "Take that, Chairman Mao", I thought smugly to myself. As I walked out of my bedroom, she looked me up and down, then right in the eyes.

"What is that garbage?"

"Careful, honey," I replied. "That's pure American Wolf Power you're sneering at. The colors never fade, nor does the spirit of Lobo that dwells within me. This shirt proves it."

She shoved the plate of Pop-Tarts in my hand and walked away in a huff. Chalk up another victory for Old Glory and the American Power of Wolf Power.
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on May 11, 2011
I awoke at the Witching Hour from a fevered dream. An image haunted me, a searing into my brain like madness. Sweating and panting, I frantically stumbled into my office and hastily went to amazon.com.

I didn't consciously enter the text into the search field. My fingers moved of their own volition, I was a passive participant watching the letters appear before me. "The Mountain Mens Wolf Flag Short Sleeve Tee".

As the page loaded I heard a rumble, as if from afar. All at once a brilliant light rushed forth and an explosion blew me backwards out of my chair.

I arose from the floor adorned in this majestic t-shirt - a new man, a better man, filled with the light and fury and wisdom of the great American wolf spirits for which this shirt is a blessed vessel.
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