The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee

This shirt has changed my life! Before, I couldn't walk through the aisles at Wal-Mart, graze on the buffet at Sizzler, or even take in a round at my local miniature golf course, without people pointing and saying, "Hey, you're that Zulu guy from Star Wars, aren't you?" Even if I wore sunglasses, I'd still get mistaken for Yoko Ono.

But with The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee, the SHIRT now draws the eye. One young teen even shyly approached me, and instead of asking for a picture or an autograph, simply smiled conspiratorially and whispered, "Team Jacob, right? Me, too. He's sooooooo dreamy."

Yes he is, young lady. Yes. He. Is.

This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather.

The Three Wolf Moon shirts power is obvious. This video is living proof that you will get women, and fly. Most importantly my son was born without bones and when I put this shirt on him he grew bones. Don't ask me how it happened but the magic is there. I wish I could hug the designer of this shirt and thank them for everything they have done for my family.

I had a two-wolf shirt for a while and I didn't think life could get any better. I was wrong. Life got 50% better, no lie.

I believe that wearing this t-shirt has made me a better man, which is remarkable because, well....I'm a chick.

I'm just a regular American guy. I've got a truck, smoke a little too much, maybe missing a few toes. Nothing too unusual. At my 9-to-5 I've gotten by for years on my old Two Wolf Moon T-Shirt. "Bring the loader over to bay 4" they'd say, and I'd get over there and get it done, my two wolves classy enough for work but also letting the passing ladies know I'm a raging torrent of untamed American spirit yearning to breath free, preferably naked. I'm no Don Juan, but I did ok -- mostly with Janice from Accounting, until she got diptheria.

Most of my income went to the good life, brewed high in the Rockies if you know what I mean. But one day I decided to take some hard earned dough and upgrade. Bigtime. When I got my Three Wolf Moon t-shirt, I knew my life had changed, but I didn't know how much.

When I put it on, the effect was immediate. 33% more wolf was almost too much to handle. It was like wearing 1500 ccs of chaps on a 1800 cc motorcycle. The vibrations alone were almost enough to throw me off my stride. And the fact that the third wolf faces backwards while howling, demonstrating individuality at the same time as unity of purpose and nobility of spirit, was a metaphor so powerful Roy, the guy who steals my mail, practically took his own foot off with his weed whacker the moment he saw me.

Jesus.

After suturing him up with some spare baling twine, I trotted down to the hardware store to stock up. Bad idea. The rippling of my well endowed man curves apparently set the wolves to almost a hypnotic shimmering, trapped and yet freed under the opalescent moon they eternally worship and yet deny. Some guy took one look at me and backed right into a concrete planter.... I almost stopped to see if he was ok, but then I remembered that wolves don't stop for anybody, particularly when howling.

These days, I'm making $1.15 more an hour, and I keep getting free cable. With the savings, I'm thinking ...maybe...just maybe, it'll be Four Wolf Time soon. But for those of you who have put in your time and training on the One and Two wolf shirts, I highly recommend investing in an upgrade. You'll never truly soar free without one. Read more ›

So I'm looking for threads that say, "Hey baby...I'm real boss!" when I stumble upon this epic creation. The wolves spoke to me in a language all their own; it was like German, Mongol, and Bitchin all mixed together. I mean, one wolf howlin at the moon is major...but three???

I ordered next-day air (if only there was same day!), and, of course, a size smaller than usual to ensure the closeness of the wolves to my chest hair. When the package arrived, I tore it open, and I SWEAR angels sang. I think it was Freebird. I immediately removed my "No Fat Chicks" shirt, and replaced it with this finery. Lemme tell you: AW YEAH.

I'll spare the details of my conquests since I started wearing this shirt; suffice to say, I'm swimming in a sea of babes the likes of which are usually found on those K-Tel infomercials. I'm also more confident at work, and expect to be promoted to cashier soon. I owe everything to this shirt (I should say "shirts", since I now own 23 of them).