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The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity Paperback


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 232 pages
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (January 2, 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1608823156
  • ISBN-13: 978-1608823154
  • Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #302,597 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

“Infidelity doesn’t have to be the end of the road, even though it often feels that way. Couples can, and do, often find their way to an ultimately deeper, more intimate bond, and I can think of no better guide to lead the journey than Tammy Nelson.”
—Ian Kerner, PhD, sex therapist and New York Times bestselling author of She Comes First



The New Monogamy takes an honest look at infidelity and illustrates a clear path toward healing after an affair.”
—John Gray, PhD, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus



“The New Monogamy sets Tammy Nelson apart from many other therapists. She doesn’t believe affairs simply involve a pathetic victim and an arrogant perpetrator—and that’s why she can actually help couples navigate this difficult challenge.”
—Marty Klein, PhD, author of Sexual Intelligence



“Provocative and juicy, far-reaching and intelligent.”
—Janis Abrahms Spring, author of After the Affair and How Can I Forgive You?



“This book is a game changer for couples dealing with the aftermath of an affair. It is unique in offering hope that this experience can be used to build a new and better relationship. But it offers far more than just hope; it provides detailed guidelines for how to make it happen. Tammy Nelson is a visionary in going beyond the immediate need to develop a new monogamy agreement to include the all-important process of revisiting and revising this agreement over time.”
—Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth and host of www.dearpeggy.com



“Tammy Nelson is a master therapist who can help you find hope and opportunity in the multiple crises caused by an affair. The New Monogamy offers safe, effective steps through the confusion, betrayal, and hurt—with guidelines for how you can create more honest, erotic, and soul-satisfying relationships.”
—Gina Ogden, PhD, LMFT, author of The Return of Desire and The Heart & Soul of Sex



“At a time when life can feel so murky and chaotic, along comes Tammy Nelson with this guidebook…. The New Monogamy is as crisp and clear as it is hopeful and realistic. A book to open again and again.”
—Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity

About the Author

Tammy Nelson, PhD, is a world-renowned expert in relationships, a psychotherapist in private practice, and a popular lecturer around the world on sexuality and human relationships and global relational change. She is a board-certified sexologist, an AASECT-certified sex therapist, a licensed professional counselor, and a certified Imago relationship therapist. She resides in the New York City area, where she works in her private practice treating couples who are looking to restore passion to their relationships, recover from infidelity, and create their new monogamy, one agreement at a time.


More About the Author

Tammy Nelson PhD is a sex and relationship expert, an international speaker, an author and a licensed psychotherapist committed to global relational change. With almost 30 years experience, she is a Board Certified Sexologist, a Certified Sex Therapist, a Licensed Professional Counselor, and a Certified Imago Relationship therapist.

Dr. Nelson is author of "Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together" (2008), "What's Eating You? A Workbook for Anorexia and Bulimia." (2004) and "The New Monogamy; Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity" (January 2013), and the forward to "Partners in Passion" by Michaels and Johnson (2013) and a chapter in "Loving and Lasting; How to Stay Tuned" edited by Lyons (2013) and author of "Six Weeks to Desire" eBook (2013). Her newest book "Sex and Lies; The Naked Therapist" TM is currently under negotiation.

She has been a featured expert in New York Times, Washington Post, Self, Glamour Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, MSNBC, Healthy Life Magazine, Shape, Men's Health, Woman's Day, Women's Health, The Sun, and a source in TimeMagazine. She writes for the Psychotherapy Networker and Huffington Post, YourTango, ThirdAge, GoodCleanLove, and can be followed on her blog at www.drtammynelson.com/blog.

Tammy speaks internationally and trains professionals and couples around the committed, renewable monogamy and sustainable and sexy relationships. She is a premier marketer and creates publicity campaigns that reach audiences in the hundreds of thousands, both for clinical and consumer audiences. She is committed to radical global relational change and available at www.drtammynelson.com


Customer Reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By CA on March 19, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is a bold departure from other books on infidelity and takes the stigma out of affair recovery, putting the responsibility fairly back on both partners. Dr. Nelson advocates clear discussions in creating a monogamy definition for each couple and continuous "out-loud" discussions about expectations. Helpful for both the practitioner and the struggling couple, this book combines mindfulness, dialogue, goal-setting and case examples making it a good read and a necessary reference. Thank you!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Cathleen M. McInerney on July 20, 2013
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The book is written simply and is easy to understand. The author is foward thinking and offers a range of options to consider and exercises to help one get there.
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17 of 24 people found the following review helpful By Linda J. Macdonald on March 27, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
As an infidelity specialist, I am always anxious to read new books on the subject, as I love to gather resources to recommend to my clients. The author knows her stuff regarding Imago therapy and has a useful format to help couples re-assess their implicit and explicit agreements. However, her frequent references to "polyamorous" and "polysexual" relationships along with "open marriage," seems to validate these as viable alternate lifestyles. She offers one example of a new agreement by a couple: "that once a month, they'd both have a free weekend in what they could do whatever they wanted, including having sexual experiences with others without needing to let the other know. The rest of the month, they would only be with each other." pp. 147, 148. Really? This does not seem like a healthy option for people who are trying to repair their marriages from the disruption of infidelity. If she only used one such example, that would be forgivable. However, I found her frequent offering up of valid ways for couples to agree to some form of unfaithfulness (like only once a month) too far afield for my taste. I felt like her periodic mention of traditional monogamy was in passing as merely one of many agreements a couple could settle upon. While I can appreciate the author's effort to appeal to a very broad readership, her frequent validation of such alternative arrangements would re-injure most if not all of my betrayed clients and justify more creative ways to be unfaithful for straying partners. Unless you are looking for a book to make you feel OK about you or your spouse having more than one lover, I would not recommend this book to people hoping to repair their marriages damaged by infidelity.
~Linda J. MacDonald, author, How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful By isisphoenix on April 22, 2013
Format: Paperback
Dr. Tammy Nelson has written a book that is invaluable to the new direction we're going with relationships on the planet. There's no guidebook in marriage and even less of one after there's been an affair in the marriage. It's hard to talk about our sexual and intimate needs sometimes even with our partners. 'Redefining Monogamy' offers practical tools and repattern-ing opportunities for couples to reconnect after an affair, one agreement at a time.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful By jonas hochstetler on March 29, 2013
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Tammy Nelson addresses a great need in our society through honesty and transparency , transcending traditions and norms. it gives ideas and tools of how to experience real change and growth in a safe and unduly compromising way. lacks inspiration and testimony of the long term benefits ( healing, intimacy ) that come from pushing your edge and taking fantasy in to action. i believe its tailored more for an immediate crisis resolve.
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4 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Melanie Barnum on February 21, 2013
Format: Paperback
Dr. Nelson offers a vibrant and new approach to dealing with the incredibly difficult concept of monogamy in her new book! Times are changing and this fantastic author helps us look ahead to a more fulfilling life.
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4 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Engineer on January 21, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
A refreshing and honest look under the covers of our moral values and what people really want. Examines feelings and actions most people have even though most don't admit it.
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