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The No-Cry Discipline Solution: Gentle Ways to Encourage Good Behavior Without Whining, Tantrums, and Tears: Foreword by Tim Seldin (Pantley) Paperback – May 15, 2007

4.6 out of 5 stars 93 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Disciplining children is arguably one of the hardest skills for parents to learn. As a parent herself, Elizabeth Pantley knows what a challenge it is to establish good discipline, and she shares the hard-won wisdom of her experience with parents in this latest edition to her revolutionary "no-cry" approach to parenting. In this case, we have no doubt she’s saving parents from tears, too! Elizabeth Pantley’s approach to this age-old problem is unique because she doesn’t rely on old discipline models that often make parents feel like the bad guy. Instead, she gives parents the communication tools they need to stop bad behavior in its tracks and gain a deeper understanding of what triggers a child to act out. Any parent will appreciate the focus on love and nurturing in this wholly practical and much-needed addition to the child care shelf.

A Special Message from Elizabeth Pantley to Amazon.com Readers
As a mom of four, two boys and two girls, I know that raising children is a unique experience every day. Our children bring us a level of joy, and a depth of love, that nothing else in our history has prepared us for. They change us as human beings, and we can never go back to who we were before they entered our lives.

We love our children intensely, yet every day life with them can be challenging, frustrating and exhausting. All day, every day, there are so many things we must get our children to do--or stop from doing. Beginning with getting them out of bed in the morning, and ending with putting them to bed at night (and often, not even then), our job involves an incredible amount of organization, guidance, direction and connection. And all that requires a brilliance and stamina that we never knew we possessed, but somehow must find.

I spend my time surrounded by parents, children and families. I’ve worked with hundreds of "Test Parents" from all over the world during my book writing process. And of course, I have my very own "laboratory" in my home. So I have a very good idea of the top issues that all parents share. I research the best answers that support positive, nurturing, "No-Cry" parenting ideals and share those answers with my readers in my books.

I hope that I can help you to find the solutions to the parenting challenge that you are facing today.


From Publishers Weekly

The author of The No-Cry Sleep Solution returns with this guide to helping parents remain in control of their two-to -eight-year-olds. A child, Pantley points out, is emotion in motion. She provides a variety of techniques to help rein in out-of-control children, based on a four-part plan that corrects the current behavior, teaches a lesson, helps the child learn control and builds the relationship between the parent and child. Her techniques are not unusual, ranging from telling stories and giving timeout warnings to distractions and simply looking away (Every once in a while, the best thing you can do for family peace is to turn around, pretend you didn't see it, take a deep breath, and move on to something else). Where Pantley does break away from the parenting pack is explaining how parents can control themselves. Her suggestions won't be easy for parents to follow, but they make solid sense. The final part of the guide will be the most thumbed-through section: concrete advice for specific problems such as bossiness, sleep issues and sibling disagreements. Attachment parents as well as those looking for a gentle approach will appreciate the wisdom Pantley shares. (July)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

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Product Details

  • Series: Pantley
  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill Education; 1 edition (May 15, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0071471596
  • ISBN-13: 978-0071471596
  • Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 0.8 x 10.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (93 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #122,932 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

When asked to define myself, the first thing that comes to mind is not the business that that brings in my paycheck, but the pursuit that occupies the majority of my days and the biggest chunk of my heart: Mother. I'm a mom of four wonderful, loveable, magical children. I've managed to create a rich and rewarding career as an author of books for parents, and as a speaker on this epic and important topic. I have the pleasure of writing about the things that bring families more peace, and the fun of chatting with people every day about our children and calling it work. I travel around the world to share what I know, and learn many new things from other parents on my journeys. I have presented at many conferences, hospital parenting programs and other events. I'm the author of nine parenting books available in 24 languages -- showing that parents are the same, no matter where in the world they live or what language they speak. My email box is filled daily with reader mail from all over the world -- my virtual pen pals. I have several new "No-Cry" parenting books in the works.

You can get more information, pictures, articles, contests, and more, at my web site: http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

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This book has lots of practical examples and techniques. "No-cry" is kind of a misnomer -- this is more about how to avoid tears when possible. Most of the techniques focus on giving children fair warning when transitions are coming and turning tough situations into fun and games so kids will be distracted into participating. There is an alphabetical list of specific issues in last part of the book that detail solutions for specific situations (e.g., "Won't get out of bath"). I also appreciate that she encourages parents to look at many sources for "bad" behavior -- how is their sleeping? Their nutrition?

I've tried a fair number of Pantley's suggestions and am impressed -- making things fun when changing diapers, brushing teeth, etc. sure are a lot easier than tears and threatening to take away toys. HOWEVER, sometimes the fun's over. Everything you're trying isn't working. Where do you go then? Pantley doesn't go that far...and sometimes the kids just don't buy the fun and games stuff ("Let's all pretend we're monkeys jumping into our car seats! YAYY!!!!"). I am reading "The Manipulative Child," and while my kids are generally pretty good, I like the authors' techniques that basically take the place of time outs, taking away toys or TV, sticker charts, and all that other stuff I had been trying. That book also focuses more on the "meat" of discipline issues -- how our responses to situations are also opportunities for our children to build their own self-worth and feel confident with their place in the world. Pantley's book is good, but doesn't delve into those issues.

Overall, I think Pantley's book is great and I generally try to do what she recommends -- it works in most cases, and when it doesn't, I turn to "Manipulative Child."
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Format: Paperback
While Pantley doesn't actually promise that there will be no crying, the discipline suggestions she offers are gentle and consistent. The recommendations are geared toward helping parents achieve positive behavior with their children, but Pantley also helps parents cope with their children's misbehavior. Pantley writes a lengthy chapter on anger management for parents, which is unique among the piles of other discipline books on the shelf. For the anger management chapter alone, this book is worth a read. Nothing routinely makes us angrier and grouchier than the objects of our greatest affection - our children. It's easy to see how the management of parental anger can both help parents cope and help them better manage their children's behavior.

This book is brilliant in many respects. It offers parents a host of possible solutions to every problem rather than foisting a one-size-fits-all approach to the impossible task of discipline. To top it off, Pantley offers a summary of solutions to common discipline problems in an easy to look-up format in the back of the book. Parents will find this useful for those times when they worry that repeated, obnoxious behaviors will make them lose their minds.

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Format: Paperback
I'm not often compelled to write a review, but I absolutely love this book. I've read a lot of books and articles on discipline, but I feel like I had a sort of break-through with my children after reading this one. I agree with the previous review which noted that the chapter on parental anger is perhaps the best part of the book. I honestly feel much more in control of my emotions and happier about parenting in general after reading this book. I am a big Elizabeth Pantley fan, but this book is my favorite of hers thus far.
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Format: Paperback
Even the best mothers in the world have experienced her child's tantrum, public misbehaving or some other seemingly uncontrollable behavior problems. Elizabeth Pantley is a mother and an expert on raising children. In her latest book The No-Cry Discipline Solution, she shows us simple tricks that we can use every day to avoid behavioral problems and deal with them if they do appear.

Pantley lets us see the world through our children's eyes and helps us understand why our children act the way they do. They do not throw tantrums because they hate us and want to make our lives miserable. They do it because they have limited capabilities of showing us their needs and understanding their own emotions. The author shows us how to avoid judging our child's behavior by our adult standards and seeing them from our grown-up perspective. Instead she shows children as innocent and often quite egocentric human beings who need a lot of direction and help to reach their full potential and become well- mannered and responsible adults themselves.

The book is very warm and supportive. The author does not point fingers, she does not expect us to know everything right after the baby is born and, finally, she does not expect anyone to be perfect. The layout is very clear and helpful. The book is divided in short and comprehensive chapters that explain the children's behavior patterns and how to deal with them in the wisest and more efficient way. The author gives a lot of practical tips for many situations that we as parents may encounter.

I found the book very helpful and encouraging. I have used it many times as a guide, and I'm sure it's going to be one of the books that is going to be passed from hand to hand and from one mother to another.

Armchair Interviews says: This is a perfect and very concise source of knowledge for both new and more experienced parents.
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