The Perils of Praline [Kindle Edition]

Marshall Thornton (Author)

Book Description

When he falls in love with a contestant on a reality TV show, Peter "Praline" Palmetier decides to leave his home in rural Georgia and, failing to realize this might be considered stalking, travels to Hollywood to find his soul mate, Dave G. Once in tinsel-town he meets a collection of startling, and often horny, characters in his quest. They include a studly steward, a conservative talk show host, the Godfather of the Gay Mafia, and casting assistant Jason Friedman, who always manages to be there in time to save Praline from total disaster. Will Praline find love with the illusive Dave G., or will he recognize the charms of appealing but untelegenic Jason?

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Marshall Thornton had me laughing. This is one of the wittiest, funniest books I have read in a long time. We are just beginning to know Marshall Thornton and we shall be hearing a great deal more from him..." --Amos Lassen - Eureka Pride

"It's fun, humorous, and a wild romp with outrageous characters ... but that's what makes it so engaging. It's a crazy whirlwind ... sit back and enjoy the humor..." --Kassa - Three Dollar Bill Reviews

"This is a witty and captivating novel that is deserving of a good read." --Rage Monthly

"The Perils of Praline is a short, sweet, sexy satire that will have you smiling even in your worst moods." - Jerry Wheeler --Out In Print

"...you will find yourself cheering for Praline and hoping that he discovers true love." --XXFactor.com

Product Details

• File Size: 342 KB
• Print Length: 220 pages
• Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
• Publisher: MLR Press,LLC (October 12, 2010)
• Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
• Language: English
• ASIN: B00472O62K
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• X-Ray: Not Enabled
• Lending: Enabled
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #172,484 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars HIlarious satirical story October 17, 2010

By Sirius VINE™ VOICE

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

This book may start as a love story, when Praline, twenty year old, charming Southern gentleman (per the cover of the book) admires on his TV the reality TV actor Dave G. and decides to move to Hollywood to be his spouse. However one realizes pretty fast that this is a satire on all possible clichés from gay romances and also some ugly real life stereotypes when one reads how Praline's mommy reacts to his moving to California.

"As an upstanding Christian woman, Robin Palmetier refused to take the Lord's name in vain. "Praline, you cannot move to California! It is the most, sinful, most dangerous, most seductive place on this entire planet!"
And then, in order to avoid a full-on conniption, she lit a joint"

Mom taught Praline really well and we see through out his perilous journey how he tries to apply the Ten Commandments that he was taught. The Commandment number Seven sounded something like this for example:
"Always repay favor with a favor. Jason had saved his life and now it was time to repay him with sex."

I have not read a book that made me laugh so hard and shake my head so hard for quite some times. I chose the sentences below at random just to give you a glimpse at what this book is about. Oh yes, Praline gets to be prostitute by "accident", he even gets to experience BDSM sex, he even gets to be entertainment studio casting director.

" A true homosexual would never turn down sex. Megapastor at his mama's church had given many a sermon about the immoral, wanton, and promiscuous behavior of the gays. If the pastor had been wrong, well, Praline would be sorely disappointed.

"If you could have any career in the world what would it be?"
No one had asked this question since his life came into focus a few short days ago, and Praline was excited to talk about it. Even to someone like Jason, who only pretended to like him. "I want to be same sex celebrity spouse".

"Prostitution as a career choice had a fairly poor reputation".

" So we'll have a safe word, which you can use if it gets too intense," Warren explained . "Okay?"
"All right, Praline said skeptically.
"What word do you want to use?"
Praline thought about it. He didn't want to choose anything that could easily be mistaken for "please keep doing that" so he said. "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"
After an uncomfortable silence, Warren said, "I'm not sure that's quite the right mood."
"I am okay with it," Praline said, certain now that it was absolutely the right word.
Without warning, Warren cracked the whip right above Praline's butt. The boy jumped and giggled nervously.
"Don't giggle".
"Yes, Sir".

The book is very well written, as I said above writer actually writes a love story, or I guess he compiles a story from so many clichés that I have read before and does it in such hilarious way.

Oh and did I mention that he meets a really nice man and gets happy ending with him? Oh and for once this young man has *short* (but thick) cock, LOL. Imagine that. This is probably the most unique part of this story, because I am yet to read about a hero who happens to have short or at least average equipment.

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Madcap sexy tale of a small town gay boy in Hollywood. December 22, 2010

By Bob Lind TOP 1000 REVIEWER

Format:Paperback

Peter "Praline" Palmetier is on a mission. The 20 year old small town Georgia gay boy is moving to Hollywood, to fulfill his dream to meet someone he saw on a "Survivor"-like reality show, whom he is sure will instantly fall in love with him and they'll live happily ever after. Within several days of arriving in Tinseltown, without having met his idol as yet, he has already had to run for his life from a jealous boyfriend, had sex (filmed by the paparazzi) with a right-wing cable news personality, been photographed from a helicopter as he ran naked alongside a freeway, got his boss' job (by sleeping with his bigger boss), and become the subject of a planned made-for-cable sexploitation film. Just when it couldn't seem to get any crazier, his conniving, pot dealing mother comes for a visit, hoping to turn Praline's exploits into her own "fifteen minutes" of fame.

This is an over-the-top, madcap satire of the usual "country boy comes to Hollywood" fable, with significant erotic sexual content. It's an amusing, light read, although I thought it did get a bit cartoonish at times. Will Praline live happily ever after with his original "dream man," or will his love take a detour elsewhere? Read and find out. Three stars out of five.

- Bob Lind, Echo Magazine

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Amusing, but after a while the lack of depth in the story grew tiresome May 4, 2011

By Charly T. Anchor VINE™ VOICE

Format:Kindle Edition

Warning: This review might contain what some people consider SPOILERS.

Rating: 6/10

PROS:
- There a lot of funny moments in the book. It's full of situational comedy, not to mention a slew of ridiculous but matter-of-fact narrative comments about Praline, his chosen profession(s), the city of Los Angeles, etc.
- In a serious story, Praline's extreme naďveté would be annoying. Because this story is so obviously tongue-in-cheek, though, I thought his innocence simply added to the overall charm of the story.
- Thornton pokes fun at specific fixtures in contemporary society, from TV shows to celebrities to brands/stores. Some of his thinly veiled references to pop culture (as well as religion, the government, political pundits, people with shaky English skills, etc.) are sharp and quite funny. Nothing is off-limits in this story...it's sort of like a gay version of South Park--with more sex.

CONS:
- The book is told by a removed narrative voice that relates events as they occur and dives every so often into Praline's head for brief periods of time. I didn't mind too much since the narration is whimsical and amusing, but the overall effect is that the book reads more like a screenplay than a novel: that is, lots of focus on action and snippets of conversation rather than any deep examination of the characters' thoughts or motivations.
- Because the book is so very light and airy, I never could take it seriously enough to get attached to any of the characters. They're caricatures, not real people, so I started to find the story a little tedious once I got used to the flippant tone and found that there's not much substance beneath it.

Overall comments: I certainly thought this book was funny, but after a while I found the lack of depth tiresome. It's not at all based in reality: there are times when it seems as though Thornton were trying to come up with the most outlandish occurrences and descriptions possible. That said, it's a fun read with very little angst and a healthy dose of fairly raunchy sex scenes.

More About the Author

Marshall Thornton is an award-winning author, playwright and screenwriter living in Long Beach, California. Best known for the Boystown detective series, he is also the author of the thriller Desert Run and the comedy The Perils of Praline, or the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood. He received an MFA in screenwriting from UCLA, where he was awarded the Carl David Memorial Fellowship and recognized in the Samuel Goldwyn Writing awards. He has had plays produced in both Chicago and Los Angeles and short stories published in The James White Review and Frontier Magazine.