The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography [Paperback]

Wendy Maltz (Author), Larry Maltz (Author)

Book Description

Release date: December 29, 2009

Breaking the silence, removing the shame

In this highly acclaimed recovery guide, renowned sex and relationship therapists Wendy and Larry Maltz shed new light on the compelling nature and destructive power of today’s instantly available pornography. Weaving together poignant real-life stories with innovative exercises, checklists, and expert advice, this groundbreaking resource provides a comprehensive program for understanding and healing porn addiction and other serious consequences of porn use.

The Porn Trap will help you to:

• Decide whether it’s time to quit using porn
• Learn how to stop using porn and deal with cravings
• Improve self-esteem and personal integrity
• Heal an intimate relationship harmed by porn use
• Develop a healthy sex life

Editorial Reviews

Review

“An excellent, thoughtful, and hopeful guide providing effective help for those who struggle with our newest and most challenging mental health problem--pornography addiction.” (Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., author of Don't Call It Love and In the Shadows of the Net )

“Larry and Wendy have done a masterful job of defining the problem of porn and giving the reader a marvelous plethora of treatment options. This is a must read for anyone who cares about someone hurt by porn addiction. For those struggling themselves, this book is a lifesaver!” (Dr. Ted Roberts, pastor, counselor, and author of Pure Desire )

“An extremely helpful and much needed resource for a very destructive addiction. The Porn Trap includes clear and practical guidance for healing the emptiness caused by porn. I highly recommend it.” (Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want and Receiving Love )

“This intelligent book brings a healing voice to an issue that too often divides and devastates partners-it goes way beyond ‘just say no,’ to offer heart-opening guidance that will help you explore new dimensions of sexual desire and intimacy.” (Gina Ogden, Ph.D., author of The Heart and Soul of Sex and The Return of Desire )

“With clarity, compassion, and understanding, Wendy and Larry Maltz help readers comprehend the magnitude of the problem and porn’s highly addictive nature. Their vast knowledge of healing and regaining a healthy sexuality embedded in a true relationship, provides readers with a wise and helpful guide.” (Charlotte Sophia Kasl, Ph.D., author of Women, Sex, and Addiction and If the Buddha Dated )

“Groundbreaking. This is the best book on the market to help compulsive porn users and the people who love them to confront and change this destructive pattern.” (Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., author of Men's Sexual Health and Rekindling Desire )

About the Author

WENDY MALTZ, LCSW, DST, is an internationally recognized sex and relationship therapist in private practice in Eugene, Oregon. She is a frequent lecturer and media guest, and her books include The Porn Trap, Private Thoughts, Passionate Hearts, and Intimate Kisses.

Larry Maltz is an experienced therapist and the executive director of Maltz Counseling Associates in Eugene, Oregon.

Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks; 1 Reprint edition (December 29, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0061231878
• ISBN-13: 978-0061231872
• Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.8 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (37 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #31,809 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #5 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Social Sciences > Pornography
  • #12 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Addiction & Recovery > Sexual
  • #89 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Psychology & Counseling > Sexuality

More About the Author

Wendy Maltz, LCSW, DST, is an internationally recognized sex therapist, author, and lecturer, with more than thirty-five years of experience providing help for sex and intimacy concerns. She is a leading expert on healing from sexual abuse, understanding sexual fantasies, overcoming problems caused by pornography, and developing skills for healthy sexual intimacy. Wendy is co-director, with her husband Larry Maltz, of Maltz Counseling Associates in Eugene, Oregon and an adjunct professor at the University of Oregon Graduate Program in Couples and Family Therapy. Her educational website, www.HealthySex.com, provides free articles, posters, interviews, and inspirations that assist in healing and promote sexual health.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

64 of 66 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The Porn Trap - A Superb Recovery Book May 7, 2008

By Matthew Moses

Format:Hardcover

As someone who knows the ravages porn addiction can inflict on a person's life, and on the lives of others, I'm SO GRATEFUL this book has come along. At last there's a clear, compassionate, open-minded guide for people who identify themselves as having a porn problem, and for their intimate partners and families.

Step by step, this book helps you evaluate your own situation, understand how you or someone you love got into porn, and see your way clear to making changes if and when you're ready. There are questionnaires throughout to help you relate your own particular situation to what's being discussed.

I liked the book's everyday language and clear organization. It maps everything out for you and gives you a plan of action with many alternatives. That's very comforting when you're in distress and things are falling apart or could at any minute.

The authors interviewed real people as the basis for their research. These stories, often in the people's own words, helped me feel less alone. They ring true, and cover a wide range of situations and personalities. Both men and women can relate to this book, and so can people of any religion or those with a secular perspective.

I found the chapters on Partners in Pain and Healing as a Couple especially helpful. I think the authors really understand the dynamics of intimate relationships. They walk you through a multi-step approach for addressing these painful challenges. You realize you have a shot at healing your relationship. And I was glad to find chapters on preventing relapses and approaching sex in new ways, again with very specific suggestions.

I never got the impression that the authors were anti-sex or against all forms of erotica, and they certainly weren't shaming or blaming.... What came through instead was simply a desire to help people who've become unhappily caught up in pornography. They give options for improving the quality of your life in ways of your own choosing. I've read a couple of other books by Wendy Maltz, including one on the joyful exploration of women's sexual fantasies, and she's by no means a prude. Her writings underscore the importance of sexual pleasure.

All in all, The Porn Trap helped me understand the nature of porn addiction and gave me hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, without one's family relationships and self-esteem being destroyed forever. It's a SUPERB RECOVERY BOOK and I highly recommend it. Read more ›

39 of 39 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful, practical and non-threatening February 14, 2009

By suburbanone

Format:Hardcover

Having read the reviews on several books covering this subject, I ultimately chose "The Porn Trap" as my first one to read. The (co-dependent no-more) wife of a 30+ year pornaholic in denial, I found the book insightful, and was able to relate to the content. This book offers more practical exercises and solidly researched advice than any other self-help book I have ever read (that would be quite a few as I'm always looking to understand human behavior and evolve myself.)
Unlike John William's post of three months ago, I found not a single reference to "Jesus" in this book. Spiritual/Religous leaders/counselors/pastors are referred to as good sources of support, right along with medical/pyschological/therapuetic and peer based support groups & systems. To me, this is not offensive. It makes the reader aware of all options available in selecting his/her choice of treatment. Surely, just as our sexual preferences are diverse, so are our levels of comfort among those who would administer to our care. Overall, I'm glad to have chosen this book first, and will myself seek out a local COSA or S-Anon for support -- something I'd not thought of before until reaching this sad point in time. I realize I can't make my spouse 'drink the water', so I guess I'll just have to wait and see what his respone is to my offer of this book, and demonstration of personal healing & growth through outside support. Next, I will consider "Untangling the Web: Sex, Porn and Fantasy Obsession in the Internet Age" by Weiss & Schneider. Wish me luck, please.
Thank you.

28 of 29 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The Value of Intimacy-Based Sexual Expression June 5, 2008

By Karla Baur

Format:Hardcover

Thankfully, this book uses "everyday" examples of the problems and limitations that porn can create. So many other books on the topic use extreme situations which can interfere with readers being able to sort out what, if any, negative impact their use of porn has on their sexuality. In addition, most self-help books spend 90% of the book about the problem and relatively little about solutions. Over half of The Porn Trap addresses healing from harmful effects. Further, the authors consistently present a positive, healthy, intimacy-enhancing perspective of sexuality throughout the book.
Karla Baur,M.S.W.
private practice psychotherapist
Baur Clinical Associates
Co-author of Our Sexuality

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Provides insight and validation October 29, 2010

By Maria

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

This book has helped me cope with the discovery of my husband's porn usage. It is not only great for the addict, but also great for the partner. It validated a lot of the emotions I was feeling, helping me to understand my own reaction, but also gave me insight into my husband's addiction. It explained a lot about the interactions in our marriage that I didn't even know were related to porn usage. If I had the knowledge in this book, I probably would have known before we even got married that he was addicted to porn just by watching his habits and attitude. Now it is helping me to have faith in my husband that he is no longer watching porn just by allowing me to understand what I should be watching for in our interactions and what types of warning signs I should be aware of if he begins to interact with porn again.

I bought several books about this topic trying to find one that would help me understand and cope. This book is the best one that I've read. If you only buy one book, buy this one.

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Strength Based Solutions for Taboo Subject May 10, 2008

By David L. Moeglein

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

As a provider of Sex Offender Treatment at a State Forensic Hospital for the Mentally Disabled, I have seen first hand the devastation that can be caused by the compulsive use of pornography in the lives of the individuals we serve. Wendy and Larry Maltz exhibit not only excellent insight, but solutions for one of the leading crises of our time.

They have created a road map for those who find either themselves or those they care for isolated and alone in a dark place as a result of the compulsive use of porn. Through stories and information, they give us what is necessary to successfully address these complexities.

A comprehensive solution to this issue must include an understanding of spirituality, intra/inter-personal dynamics, human development, and neurochemistry. They give hope for intimacy in trust filled relationships, and concrete steps to achieve this end. I am grateful for the human face that they have put on this issue. I will use their work as a resource in treating those I serve.

David L. Moeglein, MSW, ASW, LPT
Clinical Social Worker
Psychiatric Technician