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The Post-Adoption Blues: Overcoming the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption Kindle Edition

13 customer reviews

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Length: 224 pages Word Wise: Enabled

The Intuitive Parent
"The Intuitive Parent"
Child development specialist Dr. Stephen Camarata arms parents and caregivers with the confidence and knowledge they need to quit worrying and enjoy the time they have with their child. Learn more

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Karen J. Foli, Ph.D., an accomplished writer, communications scholar and registered nurse, is the author of Like Sound Through Water: A Mother's Journey Through Auditory Processing Disorder.

John R. Thompson, M.D., Foli's husband, is a board-certified psychiatrist specializing in child and adolescent issues. They live in Bloomington, Indiana.

Product Details

  • File Size: 3110 KB
  • Print Length: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Rodale (August 7, 2004)
  • Publication Date: August 7, 2004
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004GNF32C
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #488,543 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

27 of 27 people found the following review helpful By M. Moore on May 30, 2005
Format: Paperback
This was a surprisingly wonderful book! After so many pregnancy losses, I was not really interested in how we may be faced with a different type of depression as my heart was ready to focus on the life that would be joining our family instead of the death we have experienced. Needless to say, there was a large part of me that was hesitant in buying this book. Only, I kept coming back to it and I am so glad that I did. This is NOT the "doom and gloom" book that I assumed it would be! It discusses not only the expectations we have regarding adoption in general due to our own feelings, or those laid upon us but also the expectations we have of ourselves as parents, our family/friends, community, and agency.

Honestly, I was shocked to see how much of this book already applied to our family as it is already "different" in that we have a larger family size (6 children). I was truly amazed to see how many of these same issues (esp re: family/friends, community) are issues and feelings that we have already encountered just resulting from being a large family.

This book is very sensitive to the now "public" family (as in everyone seems to feel they are entitled to hear your story of why you chose adoption, why you choose int'l adoption, how much your baby cost, etc.) and really discusses how to maintain not only your privacy but your need for support instead of criticism (or "neglect") due to others disrespectful and/or hurtful comments.

This is a "self-impowering" book; and is perfect to help you prepare for unexpected reactions regarding this most blessed event. It was worth every minute I spent reading it!
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32 of 33 people found the following review helpful By Jon Henshaw on April 17, 2005
Format: Paperback
The mission of The Post-Adoption Blues is to examine the challenges of adoption, and to alleviate feelings often experienced during and after the adoption process. More specifically, the authors' state the following as their goals:

- Narrow the differences between what is expected during the adoption process and what is actually experienced in order to lessen stress and depression.

- Teach adoptive families to confront stress and depression by allowing them to express the very real pain they're feeling; this will create opportunities for growth.

- Open dialogue on post-adoption emotions in order to contribute to better-prepared adoption experiences. Concentrate on securing for adoptive parents the care and help they need.

- Increase awareness and usage of effective coping strategies to help deal with stress and depression.

- Describe and better understand the specific vulnerabilities of each type of adoption, be it domestic (open or confidential), international, foster parent, or kinship.

In the book, the authors tackled difficult, but all-to-real fears that many adoptive parents experience. Some of them included concerns about parenting skills, and worries about how attached they will or will not become with their child. They described the following scenario regarding attachment:

"Falling in love with a child that smells different, looks different, and behaves differently than you expected can be difficult. In some cases, immediate and visceral feelings of rejection of the child ensue. Then overwhelming panic grabs you as a you realize that you have no idea what you need to do to change the situation.
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13 of 14 people found the following review helpful By Allison Martin on January 8, 2005
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book came about as a consequence of Dr. Foli's difficulty in bonding with her baby daughter early in her adoption. As a couple, Dr. Foli and Dr. Thompson used this as a starting point to highlight many of the emotional aspects of adoption with which parents might struggle. Their belief is that by identifying and accepting difficult emotions and circumstances, parents can work through them to achieve feelings of love and acceptance.

This book will be useful to a parent (or perspective parent) who finds themselves struggling with feelings of sadness, frustration or anger. It will affirm that these are feelings that others have felt and offers suggestions for coping with these emotions.

It is likely that parts of the book will be more pertinent than others, depending upon your circumstances and personality as so many issues are addressed. Nonetheless, the approach of bringing a host of issues to the discussion table is commendable and results in a valuable resource.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By K. Weaver on May 12, 2007
Format: Paperback
This book has been very inciteful and encouraging. I would recommend that those who are waiting for their child or have recently adopted read this book. The authors give great insight into the struggles of adoption and the related issues that can cause post-adoption depression, and what to watch for. They also give some practical suggestions on how to "fight" this depression at the end of each chapter. It was great to read the many different stories and know that I was not alone!
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39 of 56 people found the following review helpful By emory2001 on January 19, 2006
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Many of the situations and examples in this book are so different from our adoption scenario that I had to really dig in to find a few pieces that spoke to me.

The book spends a lot of time encouraging infertile couples to be sure they have worked through the loss of the biological child they will never have. Infertility is not something we have dealt with. We have just always wanted to adopt and have no expectations or fantasies of biological children, so I didn't find these sections helpful.

There is also quite a bit of discussion about children who are adopted older and have more than a few months life experience without a family. Again, not our situation. We are adopting an infant. Not that we expect a perfectly healthy, perfectly well-behaved child with no emotional or developmental issues, but the situations described seemed like they would be far more likely to occur in the older adopted child.

Then there is the discussion of pre-adoption counseling with the birthmother in an open adoption, and acknowledging the birthmother's position. Well, our adoption is international - not open, no knowledge of the birthparents.

For people in these types of adoption, this is probably a great book. But overall, the book tries to do too much, lumping all types of adoption, and the different challenges in each, into one book. There are a handful of points that are probably applicable to most any adoption, particularly the part about society's expectations of adoptive families, which is why I gave two stars and not one.

The few guidance pieces are also more cognitive than task-oriented, so depending on how you learn and internalize things, that may or may not be helpful. I would find task-oriented exercises, and offerings of concrete suggestions, more helpful and informative.
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