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The Power of Positive Confrontation: The Skills You Need to Know to Handle Conflicts at Work, at Home and in Life Paperback – January 27, 2001

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Editorial Reviews

Review

Barbara Pachter has written a wonderfully perceptive and incredibly constructive book. Instead of complaining when someone does something that annoys you, now you'll know the basic strategies for handling conflict effectively while feeling good about the experience. Everyone needs to read this book! -- Sharon J. Wohlmuth, New York Times best-selling co-author of Sisters, Mothers and Daughters, and Best Friends

This is one of the best self-help books ever written. I wish this wonderful book had been available to me long ago--it would have saved me years of problems. We face the problems it identifies daily. The help it offers is immediate. -- Larry King, Hall of Fame Broadcaster and author of How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Barbara Pachter is a business communications consultant, speaker, and seminar leader who speaks nationally and internationally on topics including assertiveness, business etiquette, international communications, women's issues, and presentation skills. She has conducted over 1,300 skill-building seminars for clients including NASA, Merck & Co., IBM, Arthur Andersen, and Pfizer, Inc. She is an adjunct professor at Rutgers University, and the author of, most recently, When the Little Things Count…And They Always Count. She lives in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. Susan Magee is an award winning writer and co-author of The Power of Positive Confrontation. She lives in Philadelphia.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Da Capo Press; 1 edition (January 27, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1569246084
  • ISBN-13: 978-1569246085
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #786,362 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

108 of 114 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on February 24, 2001
Format: Paperback
It's only natural for a popular self-help speaker with a truly great message to want to put it into book form. The Power of Positive Confrontation teaches a truly great technique for confronting others that will help everyone who has trouble standing up for him or herself. Too bad there's only about three chapter's worth of actual content in its sixteen chapters. Instead the author gets into telling us how to dress for success, how to convey the information that a friend or loved one is in the hospital, do's and don'ts of International Travel along with several chapters of warm-up before finally getting to her actual WAC technique. Don't get me wrong, I still recommend this book highly but an abridged cassette version would be a lot less painful.
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57 of 59 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on December 9, 1999
Format: Hardcover
Using the techniques I learned in this book, I was finally able to confront my mother in law and my co worker about things that have been bothering me without getting upset. It worked! I found out that I was using self-discounting statements and my body langauge was a problem too. The book explains the WAC'em technique for getting your words together. The "W" helps you define what's bothering you and why.
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53 of 58 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on December 23, 1999
Format: Hardcover
I've never been very good at confrontation; I always feel like I've said or done the right thing in the wrong way. This book changed that for good. Positive confrontation is something we all aspire to but rarely achieve. I've used what I learned in this book to deal with issues at work and at home -- and it works! Now I handle confrontation in the "right" way, and things work out much better both for me and for the person on the other side of the issue. This is a great book!
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37 of 41 people found the following review helpful By Robert Morris HALL OF FAMETOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on January 4, 2001
Format: Paperback
With Susan Magee, Barbara Pachter carefully analyzes all of the skills anyone needs to resolve conflicts at work, home, and in life. Confrontation is inevitable. Think about it: What REALLY upsets you? How about "road rage" when someone else cuts you off, tailgates, deliberately forces you to the side of the road, etc.? Or how about "office politicians" who lie both to your face and behind your back, thrive on hurtful gossip, and in countless other ways try to advance themselves at the cost of others? Make no mistake about it: Negative Confrontation also has power.
Pachter has a specific objective in mind: To enable those to read the book to master the skills needed to resolve confrontation is positive, constructive, and beneficial ways. As indicated in the Preface, she wants each reader to be able to say "I don't feel frustrated any more..." or "In the past I would have sulked or complained until the person got the hint, now I can just say something..." or "Annoying things don't bother me as much because I know I can say something now."
The book consists of 16 chapters, ranging from "Positive Confrontation -- What It Is and How It Can Make Your Life Better" to "International Etiquette", with Chapter 16 followed by a "Final 12-Step Pep Talk." Over the course of the book, Pachter covers just about every conceivable situation in which conflict can occur at work, home, and in life. I think this book will be invaluable to individual readers as well as to senior-level executives who can use much of the material to help those whom they supervise to master the same skills.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Ellen Ferreira on November 19, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I do public speaking and the topic of a recent talk was How to Have Difficult Conversations. The kind that you keep procrastinating, knowing all the while that the situation won't improve unless you deal with it.

In doing my research I waded through a mountain of books on the subject. The Power of Positive Confrontation is the one I kept returning to. It is well organized, easy to read, and full of realistic examples of tough situations and how to address them with both parties emerging unscathed. I've used several of the techniques recommended in the book (including a tough firing of an employee) and found that they're effective.

If you only have the time or energy to read one book on this subject, this is the one to choose.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By N. Garron on November 5, 2010
Format: Paperback
You won't feel you are struggling to wade through the material in this book. It is well-organized and easy-to-read. It is also full of situational examples involving confrontation, as well as techniques on how to address each issue in a positive, constructive way. This includes expressing your position on the matter in a calm, concise, polite, yet powerful manner to achieve the intended result. As I read through this book I found myself remembering similar situations that I experienced.

One method, referred to as WAC'em, seeks to identify and analyze the source of conflict to better tackle the problem. Ultimately, the goal is to focus on what is bothering you? What do you want to ask the person to do or change? And finally, check-in with the other person to get his or her thoughts.

In addition to the abundance of scenarios, regarding how to deal with different personality types in a variety of situations, there are helpful checklists to evaluate you own verbal and non-verbal image. Pachter's book is definitely a practical resource in dealing with conflict.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By reader on September 23, 2009
Format: Paperback
"The Power of Positive Confrontation" is my go-to resource. The book helped me to address my confrontational fears and has made our personalities as well as our work ethic. This book helped me realize this and provided me with the confidence to do what I had to get done. This isn't just a book for work situations, but for every day interaction!
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