The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage [Hardcover]

Laura Schlessinger (Author)

Book Description

Release date: January 2, 2007

In the long-awaited follow-up to her groundbreaking, million-copy bestseller The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura now focuses on how men and women need to understand and appreciate the uniqueness of masculinity and femininity; what the best ways to relate, caretake, and nurture each other are; and how to bring a marriage back from the brink of disaster.

Dr. Laura asserts that in order to produce and sustain a wonderfully satisfying marriage, spouses must recognize and appreciate the polarity between the masculine and the feminine. Both husband and wife have power in the relationship, and each needs to realize this in order to ensure personal satisfaction. Using real-life examples from her call-in radio show, and giving real-life solutions, Dr. Laura focuses on the typical mistakes made by men and women in their relationships and shows how marriages can not only survive but thrive.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The bestselling author (The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands), columnist and talk show host does not deviate from her strong belief that women are largely responsible for happy marital unions, which should be their first priority. For Schlessinger, "feminism robbed women of their essence and their ability to find pure joy and happiness," but the fair sex can regain that by promoting a traditional relationship with their husbands. Many of Schlessinger's golden rules recall suggestions from previous books: avoid interfaith marriage, stay together for the sake of the children and never say no to a husband who wants sex. Never insist that a man wash his own dishes, either; both women and men should respect the division of labor and a woman's status as homemaker. Although Schlessinger acknowledges that men have a responsibility to communicate and recommends that they express gratitude to their wives for domestic attentions, she clearly delineates a successful marriage as one between a male financial provider and a female emotional caregiver. She includes a digression on the differences between the sexes and the masculine/feminine polarity. Though this latest guide will confirm Dr. Laura's retrograde views for many, devotees will continue to look to her for answers. (Jan.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Following up on the popularity of her book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands (2003), Schlessinger states that her goal here is to reintroduce readers to the meaning of femininity and masculinity and how an understanding of sex roles can benefit marriage partners. Her second goal is to shine a light on selfishness, which "has become accepted in our society" and threatens marital bliss. Drawing on her experience as a popular talk show host, Schlessinger recalls the questions posed by listeners and her advice to them. Recovered feminists lament their mistaken notions of sexual equality as Schlessinger enlightens them on the power of true femininity. She expounds on the different ways that men and women communicate and how modern feminism has undermined men's and women's images of marriage and the sex roles within marriage. She offers love alerts and do's and don'ts to maintain healthy marriages. Schlessinger's fans will love this book; unrecovered feminists may not. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Harper; 1ST edition (January 2, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0061142840
• ISBN-13: 978-0061142840
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.8 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (144 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #65,404 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Laura Schlessinger received her Ph.D. in physiology from Columbia University and holds a post-doctoral certification from the University of Southern California and licensing in Marriage and Family Therapy. She is the author of nine New York Times bestsellers, including THE PROPER CARE AND FEEDING OF MARRIAGE. Her award-winning radio program is internationally syndicated by her Take On The Day company. It's broadcast every day on more than 250 stations, XM Satellite Radio, and the Armed Forces Network, and is stream-linked and podcast on www.drlaura.com.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

66 of 68 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Some good points for everyone January 22, 2007

By K. Vigoren

Format:Audio CD

The main idea of this book is to point to BOTH husbands and wives that they have a responsibility in marriage and it starts with a good attitude. I have read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and, as a comparison, it does make a lot of similar points, but also brings out how husbands can contribute to their wife's "desire" to properly care and feed them. I think I like this book better than the feeding of husbands because it really does highlight how men and women interact to create a loving marriage. She still gives a lot of the responsbility to women, especially in the first few chapters, but she points out that men shouldn't see it as an "obligation," but as a gift to be grateful for. She tells both wives and husbands to be appreciative instead of holding expectations all the time and griping out of disappointment that you're not being treated like you deserve.

Her advice is simple. Treat them how you would want to be treated. Look for the positive. Give 110% and you'll get back much more in return. If your marriage has been rough, give it time to heal. Don't expect change overnight. Marriage is hard work, but it should be fun; not a sibling relationship. Sex is what binds men to their women (men are not just horny jerks who see their wives as sex objects). Respect each other. It's about WE not ME.

The only thing that I think I didn't like is how she rants about "feminism" so much. As a woman I think that we can just plain be bums (feminsim aside) and blame our kids, hormones, PMS, fatique, and everything else for why we don't have the energy to treat our husbands properly. I know plenty of women who don't see themselves as feminists who are still jerks to their husbands. Just look past the feminist bashing and get to the substance that's deeper in the book and you're sure to be motivated to be a better spouse (both husband and wife) in some way. The book gains more substance the further you read.

If your marriage needs improvement in any way, I can guarantee you won't be wasting your time in reading this book. She has a very straight-forward, sometimes funny tone that can actually make things lighter for you.

I really like how she encourages those who have "been to hell" in their marriage that there is a lot of hope, and even hope that this struggle can make your marriage more solid than ever. How's that for optimism?

Happy reading and long live your marriage!

68 of 72 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Great Common Sense! January 4, 2007

By S. Battista

Format:Hardcover

I bought this book for two friends who are about to get married (they're sometime listeners to Dr. Laura), and I found myself reading it first. Much to my surprise, I found it a real page-turner. I think people see or hear Dr. Laura on radio or TV and just instantly make up their minds about her, either loving or hating her. But when you really pay attention to what she says, and read the words she writes, she makes enormous sense.

How many of us always complain about the little things our husbands do, or make fun of their never asking for directions, but don't quite think about how we can make them feel more like "men." And in THIS book, Dr. Laura also addresses what men need to do to make us wives feel more like women. It sounds old-fashioned, and maybe it is, but it really works.

She gives "action items" to work on to improve your marriage, and actually explains in a clear manner the psychological and emotional differences between men and women, some of which I hadn't ever really THOUGHT about. I ended up buying another copy for my soon-to-be married friends, and kept the first one for myself and my husband. Even after (and perhaps ESPECIALLY after) many years of marriage, this book has something to offer to keep those home fires burning!

69 of 74 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Vivre les differences! January 4, 2007

By J. Brodie

Format:Hardcover

My wife gave this book to me for my birthday (along with my favorite home-made double-fudge chocolate cake). I thought -- great -- another relationship book. Good bedtime reading if I want to go to sleep... But Chapter One just hooked me -- this is not another "Men Are From Mars" book that paints men and women as different alien races who can only understand each other from a purely academic point of view. Here are the differences men and women love about each other -- supporting why God made us different and encouraging us to celebrate the differences!

This book gives support and hope to those of us guys who truly believe that when we stood in front of the minister and all our friends and family and exchanged solemn vows with our brides, we were making a lifetime commitment to be with someone for the rest of our lives, that we were going to travel a long road together and that it would be bumpy some times, as Dr. Laura calls it "the bridge over troubled waters" but that the voyage is worth it for ourselves and most importantly for our children. And that this consecrated commitment of love is a sacred thing that should be cherished, nourished and celebrated.

So after I finished the book, I turned to my wife and asked her if she would be, as Dr. Laura says, "receptive to my amourous advances" in the future. She winked at me and said, "The key word is amourous." Guess I'll be buying her more flowers in the future.