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The Real Rules: How to Find the Right Man for the Real You Mass Market Paperback – February 10, 1997


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Product Details

  • Mass Market Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Dell (February 10, 1997)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0440224489
  • ISBN-13: 978-0440224488
  • Product Dimensions: 4.2 x 0.4 x 6.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 3.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (77 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #890,633 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

She encourages women to develop some real confidence and self-esteem and become the best they can be.
Veronica
The Real Rules book, however, sounds like a book to help women find men by being themselves, but in reality will not work.
howardl@asiansources.com
HIGHLY recommended for its truth, authenticity, and the freeing and lasting effect it will bring to your relationship.
Barbara Rose

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

102 of 110 people found the following review helpful By Wendy on May 30, 2001
Format: Mass Market Paperback
Picked up and read this book just yesterday in it's entirety. A few years ago a friend handed me a copy of "The Rules", the one De Angelis criticizes. In reading that book I became massively depressed that this is what the male half of the human race has amounted to. I was even more depressed that I could not just be myself and find someone to love me for me. The old "Rules" is a straight-jacket too impossible for a woman of the 21st century to wear. "The Real Rules", as simplistic and common sense oriented as it is, is the first permission anyone has given me in a long time to just be me. Everthing in the book I already knew, but needed to "hear"; this after relationships where I was not accepted for myself, this after a few friends debated with me that I cannot be up front and forward with men. Tell that to a woman with a big heart whose preference is to be open. That does immense damage to the psyche. The writer of the original "Rules" should be sued. I don't want to play games. I don't want the kind of man who responds to games.
I also appreciate how De Angelis "gives permission" to be up front and ask the important questions early on, something we simply aren't taught to do otherwise, and how she reminds us to look at what WE want, what OUR needs are, rather than getting caught up in getting a commitment from a guy who is likely to be the wrong guy, just because he might commit.
It may sound odd that we would need to be given "permission" to be ourselves, but in a world that constantly stiffles any attempt to "be real", we can't get enough of that permission.
Thanks Barbara.
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46 of 47 people found the following review helpful By Veronica on June 16, 2005
Format: Mass Market Paperback
The Real Rules is an empowering and inspirational book. The writing style is friendly and insightful and the tips are very useful and easy to follow. This book tries to undo the brainwashing that has led some women to hide their true selves in order to attract a man, for example, acting `light and breezy' on dates, always ending phone calls first and becoming busy and mysterious when you want him to propose... This book does not cater to women who are obsessed with their Big Day or who exhibit `Princess' behaviour; instead it focuses on kind-hearted, decent women who only want a man if he is right for them.

Rules given are honest and refreshing. They include `Be Yourself', `Treat People the Way You Want Them To Treat You', and `Ask Questions Before You Get Involved'. I especially liked the section on the six important character traits to look for in a man (and cultivate in yourself) such as high self-esteem and integrity. The Real Rules are all about having faith in your ability to know what the appropriate way to behave in a relationship is. For example, most women know how many times they should call a new boyfriend without going overboard and therefore there is no need to follow restrictive rules that only make you obsess about whether you are `doing the right thing' or not.

Barbara makes a great point that if you offend a man by being honest about your beliefs or hobbies then he clearly wasn't The One in the first place, so why obsess about making him like you? If you are right for each other then games are not necessary. Simple as that. This book is certainly not about letting it all `hang out'. Barbara is not encouraging women to turn up on dates as emotional wrecks or ball-busters and expect men to `love them as they are'.
Read more ›
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65 of 70 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on November 10, 1999
Format: Mass Market Paperback
Outstanding book! I read it from cover to cover, and I agree with MOST of it. Two things I disagree with. #1) A woman should put a time limit on a guy of say, 18 months to 2 years, from getting to know him to marriage. (Of course, that's for women over the age of 25.) #2) I disagree with the 4 commitment levels. I think there are 2 levels of commitment, (dating exclusively, and marriage) or 3 levels, TOPS, (dating exclusively, living together, and then marriage.) Guys like to keep things very straight forward, and we like to know EXACTLY where we stand. If you do the Real Rules, (especially Rule #1) you should be all set, trust me! The best part about the book is that it ENCOURAGES you to share the book with your significant other! You have nothing to hide, and you get to be yourself, and The Real Rules works in ANY dating stage, early, middle, or final stages.
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47 of 54 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on September 29, 1999
Format: Mass Market Paperback
The Real Rules is not idealistic at all! It is very genuine & explains the absolute truth about meeting the RIGHT person and not just ANY person. Barbara never says that marriage is unimportant or that an engagement ring is bad. It is only wrong when women make it their GOAL to get married or have that ring w/o paying attention to whether or not this man is the right one for them. This is the point Barbara makes. Her point is that when a woman is married to the RIGHT man, THEN that ring will be forever meaningful. Why settle for anything less than a real, long-lasting love that was initially based on honesty, emotional openness, and just being yourself without focusing on the almighty ring? The Real Rules is for people in the BEGINNING of a relationship, MIDDLE, it doesn't matter! Women who think this book is too idealistic can follow the old rules and be the kind of woman who gets a man through manipulation, games, and ACTING. There is nothing idealistic about the advice in this book. Everything about it MAKES SENSE. It is about being yourself, expressing who you are, and showing your love to people all around you. This book taught me more about life and relationships than I could ever care to learn on my own. If women think this advice will result in getting hurt or causing more heartache just because they were THEMSELVES with men, then let me tell you, those men who break your heart because you followed the REAL RULES are NOT the men for you! We all get hurt, Barbara never said we wouldn't. The Real Rules shows you how to stay away from and spot these men. When you do, you can then move on (or stay in the relationship and get hurt with the wrong man because you couldn't let go) to finding the RIGHT man.Read more ›
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