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The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships Paperback – June 25, 2002
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-- William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart
"This is the best book on relationships I have ever read -- a truly impressive tour-de-force. John Gottman has discovered the Rosetta Stone of relationships. He has decoded the subtle secrets contained in our moment-to-moment communications. By introducing the simple yet amazingly powerful concept of the "bid," he provides a remarkable set of tools for relationship repair. By the middle of the second chapter you're likely to say to yourself, "Oh, so that's what's happening in my relationship with my partner (or colleague, boss, or sister), and now I know what to do about it."
-- Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D.,author of After the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship
"The Relationship Cure is another in John Gottman's superb series of books on improving intimate relationships. What distinguishes Gottman's writing from that of other self-help books is that it is based on research findings from his extensive studies. When he says his five steps will help you build better connections with the people you care about, you know that they have been demonstrated to work."
-- E. Mavis Hetherington, Ph.D., professor of psychology, University of Virginia
"The Relationship Cure is both profound and practical, based on decades of research and clinical experience. The rich array of self-exploration exercises and guidelines offers a life-changing program for creating more rewarding emotional connections with friends, colleagues, and life partners."
-- Shirley P. Glass, ABPP, author of Treating the Trauma of Infidelity
"The Relationship Cure is engaging and imaginative. The deceptively simple but powerful concept of the 'emotional bid' reveals ways in which we can connect with significant others in our lives."
-- Andrew Christensen, Ph.D., coauthor of Reconcilable Differences
"I always expect to learn something from John Gottman, and I have never been disappointed. The Relationship Cure is original, insightful, and immensely helpful. I love the concept of emotional bids. Gottman not only helps the reader recognize how he or she may be short circuiting connection and communication, he gives them very good practical advice, as well as examples of wrong and right ways to deal with even the most aggressive or passive partner interaction."
-- Pepper Schwartz, Profesor of Sociology, the University of Washington, Seattle and author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex is Wrong
From the Hardcover edition.
From the Inside Flap
"This is the best book on relationships I have ever read. . . . John Gottman has decoded the subtle secrets that can either enrich or destroy the quality of our ties with others." Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D., author of After the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship
"John Gottman is our leading explorer of the inner world of relationships. In The Relationship Cure, he has found gold once again."William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart
"When he says his five steps will help you build better connections with the people you care about, you know that they have been demonstrated to work." E. Mavis Heatherington, Ph.D., professor of psychology, University of Virginia
From the country's foremost relationship expert and "New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life--with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman:
* Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls "emotional connection"
* Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional "bid," the fundamental unit of emotional connection
* Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others' bids
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Top Customer Reviews
(1) Turning Against--those who criticize;
(2) Turning Away--those who do not engage directly;
(3) Turning Toward--those who truly respond to you with empathy.
Then start pruning away the dead wood!
When one of my best friends confided to me that her husband had moved out and they were on the verge of divorce, I said, "Read this book together with him. It changed my life. Maybe it can help you, too." A few months later, she told me through tears that going through the process of reading this book together had changed their life too, and that now they were closer than ever. I ended up buying another copy to keep for myself.
For the preview- it breaks communication down to simple "bids" for connection, the way you could respond to them, and the outcomes of various types of responses. Apparently, we are a lot more predictable than we realize, and I have found the information to be tried and true in my life since I first read the hardcover edition when it first came out, happening upon it by accident in the bookstore.
Whether you think you are the best sales rep in the west, have the most dynamic marriage on the planet, or feel a little more socially awkward - this book alone will help you strengthen core skills to build better relationships.
This is the first book of his I've read, and I loved it. I found it very profound, yet surprisingly simple.
*I liked the explanation of 'the bid.' It's a basic theory, but it seems to be forgotten after a while in a relationship.
*I liked the chapter on 'emotional heritage.' The self evaluations are extremely helpful in taking a look at your past and how your family dynamics can come into play in your adult years.
*I liked how the information in this book can be applied to any type of relationship: romantic, friendship, family / sibling, and co-workers.
*Some of the information seems like it should be common sense, but it also seems necessary for the author to state it clearly in this book because it seems to get lost in so many relationships,
This book seems like an undertaking when you first flip through it, but I found that it read very fluently and fairly quickly.
I would recommend it to everyone, especially those wanting to strengthen the love in their life.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
If you are looking for key points and ideas that can easily be applied to real life relationships look no further.Published 1 month ago by Kingmcw
Recommend this book, good insights with well documented quantitative and qualitative background. Exercises included were eye-openers!Published 1 month ago by Lisa Dube
All of John Gottman's books are worth reading.
Brian Morris, M.D.
Author of The Wellness Code: The Evidence-Based Prescription for Weight Loss, Longevity, Health... Read more
I felt like I got some valuable tips from this book and my boss even wrote down the name of the book to get for himself! Read morePublished 2 months ago by Patty
A five star book. I have read a dozen relationship books, this is the one I would recommend.Published 2 months ago by DANIEL E SWIENTON