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The Relationship Rescue Workbook: Exercises and Self-Tests to Help You Reconnect with Your Partner Paperback – October 18, 2000


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The Relationship Rescue Workbook: Exercises and Self-Tests to Help You Reconnect with Your Partner + Relationship Rescue: A Seven-Step Strategy for Reconnecting with Your Partner
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Hyperion; 1 edition (October 18, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0786886048
  • ISBN-13: 978-0786886043
  • Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 7.3 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (48 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #52,655 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Most Oprah viewers are well aware of Dr. Phil's book Relationship Rescue, which presents a seven-step program for salvaging troubled relationships. McGraw would be the first to tell you that watching Oprah or reading about his program are all fine and good, but if you really want to rescue your relationship, you've got to do the work--which is where this excellent workbook comes in. Loaded with probing questions, exercises, and fill-in-the-blank "self-tests," this four-part book is probably more effective than having a televised session with McGraw on Oprah. (For those who haven't seen the tearful relationship breakthroughs, be assured that McGraw gets results.)

Don't expect to approach this workbook as if you were whizzing through a magazine quiz. Like the relationship that you are trying to revive, this workbook presents a big commitment. (There's no timeline suggested, but judging from the amount of work involved, common sense says to give it at least a month.) McGraw also urges readers to use this workbook in tandem with Relationship Rescue, even though there are similar exercises in both books. The hardcover book is geared toward helping readers identify "what's wrong and begin the process of restoration," he explains. The workbook helps readers begin the self-scrutinizing work that leads to change. Throughout this 287-page workbook, McGraw asks readers to be brutally honest while they examine the beliefs, behaviors, resentments, and expectations that they bring to the relationship. The four-part structure echoes the structure of his original book, starting with "Recover Your Core" and finishing with "Aim for the Best." Some of the exercises seem predictable, such as "list and describe five things that made you fall in love with your partner." Most of the time, though, the requests are profound and suggest a huge impact on a relationship. For example:

  • "I am 100 percent accountable for my life, so I will take a responsibility for bringing a win/win spirit to the table day after day. I can show my optimism by..."

  • "My partner does not deserve the effort I am about to invest. I deserve it, and our relationship deserves it. I will take the respect I have for our relationship and exercise it toward my partner. Some simple ways I can demonstrate the respect I hope to be shown myself are..."

This workbook won't change your partner or offer you relationship perfection, warns McGraw. The goal is "to reconnect with your own best self" (which is the foundation of McGraw's couples work). Nor is there a big prize upon completing the workbook. Instead, readers will find a personal letter from McGraw, emphasizing what's already been discovered--relationships aren't maintained and nurtured by a one-shot course, but rather by a strong commitment to one's highest self. It may sound anticlimactic, but as so many Oprah guests are likely to attest, it really works. --Gail Hudson

About the Author

Dr. Phil McGraw is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters; Relationship Rescue: A Seven-Step Strategy for Reconnecting with Your Partner; Self Matters: Creating Your Life From the Inside Out; The Ultimate Weight Solution: The Seven Keys to Weight Loss Freedom, and his most recent book, Family First: Your Step-by-Step Plan for Creating a Phenomenal Family. He is also the author of the New York Times bestseller The Ultimate Weight Solution Coookbook: Recipes For Weight Loss Freedom as well as The Ultimate Weight Solution Food Guide. His books have been published in 37 languages with over 22 million copies in print. Dr. Phil has a B.S, M.A. and Ph.D. in clinical psychology from North Texas State University with a dual area of emphasis in clinical and behavioral medicine. He has been a board-certified and licensed clinical psychologist since 1978, and appears on his nationally syndicated daily one-hour series, Dr. Phil. He lives in Los Angeles with Robin, his wife of 28 years, and their two sons, Jay and Jordan.

More About the Author

Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D., has worked in the field of human functioning and strategic life planning for over twenty years. Dr. McGraw is co-founder and president of Courtroom Sciences, Inc., America's leading litigation consulting firm, and has been associated with some of the highest-profile cases in the country, including Oprah's highly publicized "Mad Cow" case. A professional psychologist, he appears regularly on Oprah as her resident expert on human functioning. He lives in Dallas.

Customer Reviews

Well worth the effort and time.
Debby David
It begins with identifying stalled thinking, works on stallbusting that thinking, and then builds new habits that will work better.
Donald Mitchell
Will suggest this book and workbook to friends in need.
Marla Cotton

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

251 of 261 people found the following review helpful By Donald Mitchell HALL OF FAMETOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on October 3, 2000
Format: Paperback
Relationship Rescue is the best book that I have seen published so far in 2000. This workbook is a very helpful extension of that outstanding book, and one that I hope you will acquire, use, and share with others. Containing many of the same quizzes, assignments, and exercises as Relationship Rescue, the workbook will encourage you to write down your thoughts in more detail. There is also significant new material that will encourage you by deepening your commitment to change, and making it easier for you to change yourself . . . and through that, your relationship.
I recently finished reading Frankenstein, which wonderfully explores the pain that lacking loving human companionship brings. The pain of losing what was once loving may be even worse.
In Dr. Phil's own words, "The two books are designed to be companions." "The hardcover book offers you the information and the tools you need . . . ." "The workbook gives you a totally private place to complete a wide variety of exercises that are crucial to the process. Some of these exercises appear in the hardcover book, but many do not."
His promise to you is a significant one. "Read the book and do the work, and you will reclaim the power to shape the life you live . . . . you will reconnect with your old best self."
While many workbooks claim to be coordinated with book they support, this one does an excellent job of connection. Each section begins with directions of how to use the hardcover book as an introduction to that part of the workbook. So you will need both.
Like Relationship Rescue, this workbook deserves many more than five stars.
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79 of 80 people found the following review helpful By Sandra D. Peters on April 11, 2001
Format: Paperback
It is most unfortunate that a five-star rating is the highest rating possible; the Relationship Rescue Workbook is deserving of at least ten stars! The workbook serves as a companion to, and is best used with, the Relationship Rescue hard cover book. Using one without the other is like eating cake without the frosting. Cake is good, but the frosting makes it all worth while. The hardcover is also good, but using it with the workbook increases the chances of obtaining maximum results.
I would not hesitate to recommend both the hardcover book and workbook to any couple experiencing relationship difficulties, or to any couple who simply want to strengthen the bond with their soulmate. As a counsellor, I have found one of the biggest obstacles encountered in relationships is the ability to communicate with their partner in a respectful, honest, understanding and open way. Communication is not just a matter of verbal speaking, it also includes listening and respecting the other's opinion, and trying to understand their point of view even though you might not agree with what they are saying. When a problem surfaces within a relationship, it is important for both parties to accept the fact there is a problem and be in agreement that they both want to work together on strengthening and/or rebuilding the relationship. If one tries and the other does not, the end result will not be satisfying, and frustration, anger and resentment will likely increase. If you are both committed to improvement, you will find this well-planned workbook is bound to open new doors, break down a few barriers, and put you on a positive and constructive path to improvement. You have very little to lose and everything to gain.
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63 of 65 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on June 7, 2001
Format: Paperback
Forget six to 12 months of psychotherapy!!! After purchasing Dr. Phil's Relationship Rescue and working an hour a day on the exercises, I realized that if you have problems with your relationship and seek therapy to "vent" or find out what's wrong with your partner, you're barking up the wrong tree. In the first three hours of reading and doing the exercises, Dr. Phil unearthed problems that jumped off the pages...MY PROBLEMS!!! I discovered that therapy was creating more problems because I was discussing them with my therapist, not my husband...and, my husband cannot read minds!!! And, the neat part is, you can hear Dr. Phil's voice in your mind.
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57 of 66 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on February 1, 2001
Format: Paperback
The workbook for Relationship Rescue has some very useful exercises. It definitely supplemented my understanding of my relationship and helped fill in for me some of the parts of the main book that I didn't understand.
While I like his "no-nonsense" approach - I also find that there are other books with a more balanced as well as spiritual approach that were also very helpful as well as as profound for me in my relationship. The two books that I am thinking of are not usually what people think of as "Relationship" Books but I highly recommend them. 1) The Mastery of Love, by Ruiz; and 2) Working On Yourself Doesn't Work, by A. and S. Kane. Both these books have deep insights about how to be more truthful, how to have more compassion, and how to not get caught in being "right", and to learn how to stop fighting your partner/lover/mate...and how to have harmony and happiness.
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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 26, 2004
Format: Paperback
A few years ago, our marriage of 20+ years began to go stale and there was no intimacy, no communication, no passion. I searched for a self-help book to help us out and bought Dr. McGraw's book along with several others. The others got trashed as they were useless. Dr. McGraw helped me to focus on my own situation and to change it, not try to force my partner to change. But it's amazing how one person can affect the entire marriage, as he suggests! Dr. McGraw's advice is sensible, practical, true, and it works. I highly recommend this well written, obviously well researched guide to helping out a stale relationship. It reversed the decay of ours. Thanks Dr. Phil!
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