61 of 65 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Absolutely Atrocious!, June 1, 2004
By A Customer
"He could only marvel at her willingness to offer her virginity upon the fleshly horn of passion so that they could complete their union, and yet, she had done just that in her sacrificial desire to be one with him." I am seriously considering the possibility that this book is really meant to be a spoof. At the very least it has to be a ghost-writer...no one who has written well in the past could produce such wretched prose accidentally. And the tediousness of it! The character's first meeting goes something like this: 1. He says something. 2. She reflects back on a similar thing he said as a child. 3. She remembers what how much she adored him as a child. 4. Some other suitor looks on angrily. 5. We learn what this other suitor was like at a child, what he's doing now, and what he ate for breakfast. 6. The dogs bristle at the other suitor's response, and we learn the life story, eating habits, favorite chew-toys, and position of every hair on the head of these dogs who on one page are 8 and 10 years old respectively and on the next page remember the man who has been away for 16 years. 7. He looks at her and muses about her slammin' body, in sentences containing twelve verbs, fifteen adjectives, and the word "orbs" used at least twice per page to describe both breasts and eyeballs, sometimes so interchangeably you don't know which is which. 8. She responds to his original comment with a warbling laugh or trilling rejoinder, while you've totally forgotten what he even said because it was twelve pages ago and you've been trying to decide whether you should laugh in derision or cry in despair or simply slap the author upside the head review-wise on Amazon. Guess which one I chose. :-)
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24 of 25 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
VERY slow read, March 27, 2003
Being a very avid Woodiwiss fan, I eagerly purchased this book on March 18th - the first date out on the shelves. I am very saddened to say that Ms. Woodiwiss has not redeamed herself from her last novel (which was absolutely horrible) with this novel which I have yet to finish. Even re-reading The Flame and the Flower for the 50th time, it seems, I find is enjoyable and very difficult to put down. This novel, The Reluctant Suitor, drags on and on and on and on ... until about three quarters of the way through the book, it gets interesting, only to get really stupid in the end. Honestly! I have 80 pages left to read, and I am dreading it but need to finish.
I have a TON of respect for Ms. Woodiwiss as a highly talented author. She has a great talent for her literary art of using descriptive words and phrases so that you really can visualize what is happening and what each character feels ... but there is a limit! The Reluctant Suitor and her last novel (see its name doesn't even pop into my mind - while all her others do) are a great disappointment. I eagerly await her next novel because really, it can only get better. And I will buy it only because it is one of Ms. Woodiwiss' novels. I hope I am pleasantly surprised.
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22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
I'm glad I didn't have to strain my own "orbs" reading this drivel!, June 23, 2005
I checked the audio book read by Lynn Redgrave from the library, and wow, was I howling with laughter through most of it! This was probably one of the most overblown, ridiculous, predictable and over-written piece of purple prose I have ever stumbled across.
The characters weren't likable in the least; Adrianna was insipid, silly and mostly bland and Colton was obnoxious, rude, arrogant and occasionally just plain creepy. The secondary characters weren't much better.
So many little points just made me grit my teeth. One of the worst was the fact that Adrianna was so upset over being "rejected" by Colton years before, and went on and on about how "heartbroken" she was. She was SIX years old at the time! Little more than a baby! And he was only sixteen! Of course he doesn't want to marry a little girl, because ew. Just... ew. And speaking of major ew, what was with the scene in the bathing chamber where he refused to leave and leered at her while making suggestive comments? They are both supposed to be high-born aristocrats, with much better manners than that. Adrianna would never have been left alone to bathe, and if she had and some strange man wandered in the way Colton did, you'd better bet she'd be screaming down the house. Well, she would if she had any spine whatsoever. Colton was a pig, plain and simple.
And then, after she was thisclose to being raped by Convenient Evil Character Roger, Lord Jerk leers at her even more and thinks about how he wants to ravish her?? The poor girl was almost RAPED and Colton is still all lusty? Pig pig pig. And Ms. Woodiwiss, what an extremely poor choice of words, since "ravished" and "raped" are pretty close to the same thing.
And let's touch briefly on her word choices, shall we? I kept an "Orb Count" and I ended out the book at eighteen. Of course, three of those were referring to breasts, but still. And honestly, if I see the phrase "limpid pools" once more time, I'll probably lose my dinner.
I could gone on more about Convenient Plot Device Pandora the first "wife" who tricks Colton into marriage (yawn) and then suddenly isn't dead (yawn) even though the priest pronounces that she is. Or the predictability of having Utterly Evil Roger suddenly turn into a murdered and a sadist when at the beginning Adrianna was flirting and playing with him. And that's another thing! If she was so disinterested in him, why didn't she just tell him to get lost from the get-go? Made absolutely no sense. But then again, not much in this book did.
I did enjoy listening to Lynn Redgrave, though. Gorgeous British accent, and she made the characters sound more interesting than they actually were.
I wish I could give this book negative stars, because that's what it deserves.
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