The River of Forgetting: A Memoir of Healing from Sexual Abuse [Paperback]

Jane Rowan (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: December 1, 2010

"People don't make up things like that for fun." That's what Jane Rowan's therapist tells her when Jane reports fragmentary memories from her childhood that hint at sexual abuse. A busy, successful scientist, Jane at first fights the implications, but when vivid body-memories sweep through her, she finally has to admit that something indeed happened. As her mother is dying, Jane must decide whether to confront her. Meanwhile, bizarre harassment at work echoes the earlier trauma. Jane's talented and unconventional therapist provides a lifeline of love and guidance; the intimate unfolding of this relationship is a central through-story. Gradually Jane learns deep trust both for her therapist and her own intuitions. Using creative arts to access her strength and aliveness, Jane reconciles with both her parents' love and their betrayal. This deeply personal memoir invites the reader behind the closed doors of the therapist's office and into the author's journal and her very body. Jane's tender story shows how we can use the challenges of painful childhood traumas to transform our lives with power and joy.

Editorial Reviews

Review

The River of Forgetting: A Memoir of Healing from Sexual Abuse is a brave and inspirational book. I appreciate Jane Rowan's fidelity in documenting her childhood, her pain, and her healing process. She has made an important contribution to our understanding of child sexual abuse and healing, affirming that we can transform trauma into lives filled with peace and joy. -- Ellen Bass, co-author of bestseller The Courage to Heal

In this moving narrative a most talented writer/poet/artist puts eloquent words to her pain, past and path to healing. Jane tells her own story and in so doing is transformed. Her story will go a long way to transforming anyone who has experienced child abuse. As a survivor myself I highly recommend this book. --John Lee, author of The Flying Boy

With astonishing bravery and eloquent voice, Jane Rowan explores what it is to be haunted by memories of childhood abuse so long and so deeply buried that you must fight to believe them true. Her work honors scars long hidden and offers hope for healing. Her book is a gift that dares to render clarity from childhood chaos. --Martin Moran, Author of The Tricky Part

A powerful and sensitive portrayal, full of insight into Jane's own confusion as well as her family's bewildering dynamics. The writing is by turns lyrical and gut-wrenching, angry and tender. This inspiring, important book shows that healing and joy are possible after childhood abuse. ----Marilyn Van Derbur, author of the bestselling Miss America By Day

Product Details

• Paperback: 270 pages
• Publisher: Ginger Cat/Booksmyth Press (December 1, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0981583024
• ISBN-13: 978-0981583020
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 0.6 x 6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #521,721 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Jane Rowan is a New England writer and artist. As a survivor of incest trauma, she is overjoyed to have found new freedom through therapy and creative work. Her memoir, The River of Forgetting, shares her healing journey with love and gratitude. www.riverofforgetting.com

Jane taught science in a private college for over thirty years. She enjoys spending time in nature, painting, dancing, and living moment to moment.

Jane is also the author of "Caring for the Child Within - A Manual for Grownups," available through www.janerowan.com .

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Achingly lovely December 13, 2010

By Linda J. Maloney-kohler

Format:Paperback

In this achingly lovely memoir Jane Rowan presents her story of child abuse and ongoing healing with stunning candor. By doing so she shares her process and suggests to her readers that not only is such amazing bravery possible, but that also we do not have to be alone on our journeys towards wellbeing and newfound peace. We are fortunate to be invited. Do come along.

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful and Compelling January 9, 2011

By Lee M.

Format:Paperback

The River of Forgetting is a beautifully written book about an excruciating subject. The author shares her moving journey as she connects with long buried shadows of childhood sexual abuse. In to her compelling description of her sessions with her therapist, her body memories and the transformative power of movement and art, she weaves her own poetry throughout the text. It is a rich tapestry that would appeal to anyone interested in the therapeutic process, authentic movement, and healing. I could not put it down. Certainly anyone who has a similar history would find solace here; as well as anyone who wants reassurance about the ability of the human spirit to heal.

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Honest, Brave and Engaging December 22, 2010

By Michelle Murrain

Format:Paperback

The River of Forgetting is a brave and creative retelling of a healing process. I was captivated by the author's honesty, self-examination, and creative story-telling. It is a book that anyone who is going through, or has been through a process of healing from childhood trauma should read.

So many people have very fragmentary or little memory of their childhood traumas, and this book is important validation. It shows how healing is possible even without those "kodak moments." It brings into focus varied aspects of the healing process, and has some wonderful poems which provide further perspective on the author's inner process. It's a great book.

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Time heals all wounds or brings them to the conscious~! June 10, 2011

By Jennifer Chatham

Format:Paperback

The River Of Forgetting is a non-fiction memoir of one woman's journey to the truth surrounding her childhood sexual abuse.

Jane Rowan takes us on a path of excruciating pain and humiliation as her psyche awakens to reveal things from her past that she had left dormant and hidden. On the day of revealing she has a flashback to a time when she was just a wee lassie, going to the bathroom and her mother telling her she slipped in the tub. Jane has no knowledge of falling in the tub, however, she neither has any recollection at this point as to the true cause of her misery, except she feels almost certain it has something to do with her father.

Jane's therapist, Sarah, helps her to awaken those secret parts of her that her sub-conscious has protected for so long. Without any coaxing and only mild hypnosis, Jane begins to recall the horror of her childhood, bringing to her conscious all the horrible acts performed upon her. Believing her depression was caused by a suppressed memory of her older sister, Suzie, being sent to a home for "retarded" children, she finds that there are other things buried alongside it.

Without sharing too much more, I shall say that this memoir is poignant, heart-wrenching and almost poetic in its prose. Sharing with us the story through poetry, dreams and narration, we are taken upon a journey with a family that loves even though the horrors are long forgotten. As we all know, the truth always prevails and the strength and courage Jane Rowan shares with the reader will leave you heartbroken at times.

We watch as Jane struggles with her dying mother, Myra, and the forgiveness and acceptance of her life situation.... We read as she comes to her forgiveness for not having any familial support when she needed it most, her acceptance that her family will never be what she needed it to be and her hopes and dreams for her future. It is a well-blended book that any survivor of childhood abuse should read. Read more ›

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Trust Yourself December 20, 2010

By Eve Marko

Format:Paperback

What I really appreciated about this book was that Jane didn't have many precise memories about what had happened to her. She had some, but what's more important, she had deeply-felt emotions and sensations regarding the sexual abuse. I feel this is so important because many people repress memories of the past, but they can't repress the strong feeling that something is wrong, something happened. In River of Forgetting Jane Rowan relates how she learns to trust the feelings and work with them. In this way the book makes a very important contribution to the literature on childhood sexual abuse. I'm also thrilled by how Jane not only shows how to heal from such experiences, but actually transforms her relationships and work--in fact her whole life--out of them. She does just what's in front of her day by day, taking the time to explore everything that comes up, trusting the process, trusting herself. That's this book's most important lesson.

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The Healing Dance December 13, 2010

By Caroline "Dancer"

Format:Paperback

In The River of Forgetting, Jane Rowan's courageously written memoir gives the reader a powerful description of Jane's own river of feelings as she navigated the difficult journey from betrayal to healing from childhood sexual abuse. Using her skills and creative resources of movement exploration, journal writing and poetry for grounding and expression, Jane shows how she learned to trust and value her own feelings, while listening more and more intently to the messages expressed through her body. . .for a way forward. The "dance" relationship within Jane and between Jane and her therapist was carefully organized in writing and beautifully described in this memoir. Their joint processes can also be seen as an effective model for developing trust and honesty, intimacy and healthy boundaries in a therapeutic container. In Jane's account of her work in therapy, you will find the essence of healing presence between them--tenderness, loving witness, testing encounter, steadiness, unhurried passage of time--all so necessary for this kind of work to unfold, safely and effectively.

As a Licensed Clinical Counselor and Board Certified Dance Movement Therapist, I do strongly recommend this book for therapists who would like to better support the work of clients whose way of working may lean toward more embodied modalities, such as art, writing and dance--the Creative Arts Therapies. And, most certainly, I recommend this book to those people who are seeking their own voice as they encounter their own traumatic backgrounds. Here, with Jane Rowan, they will find an ally to help them and both support and believe in their own courageous journeys.

Caroline D. Loupe LCPC, BC-DMT