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The Road Back to Me: Healing and Recovering From Co-dependency, Addiction, Enabling, and Low Self Esteem. Paperback – April 9, 2012


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 270 pages
  • Publisher: Lisa A. Romano (April 9, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0578102684
  • ISBN-13: 978-0578102689
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (45 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #988,576 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

This book brings to the surface all the emotions a child is forced to deny when their home has been corrupted by the consequences of alcoholism, narcissism, perfectionism and abuse of parental power.  The author has done an inspiring job at expressing the emotions as well as the perceptions a child experiences when a home is infused with denial.  Poignant in her delivery, all of us adult children of alcoholics will feel as if she has written this story for our benefit as much as for hers.
If you are ready to face the elephants in the room, this author is powerful enough to help you do so. 


This book is written through the eyes of a child who has been born to people who cannot 'see' her.  The author recalls with amazing detail the thoughts and emotions she experienced while living in a home that was infused with guilt and shame.  Lisa A. Romano has done an outstanding job at helping we recovering adult children of alcoholics remember, own, and heal the emotions our caretakers programmed us to believe we had no right to feel. Bravo to Romano.

I really enjoyed this book espeically the childhood and teenager parts. They connected in very deep way with my own experience and it was very very well written. Lisa was very articulate about her struggles with her mother, her self esteem and her awkward friendship attempts. Although my own Asian abusive parents had other disturbing issues and reason for thier cruel behavior but that did not stop Lisa's stories from hitting home with me. Her stories was identical to my own experiences and old scars. I could not put this book down during those chapters.

From the Author

I was raised in a home that was one tattered by fear.  Both of my parents were abused and neglected by their alcoholic parents.  Because my parents did not drink, they presumed all their problems were solved.  What they could never have known was, alcohol was not the problem.  Their unconscious belief systems were.  Unaware, my parents did to me what their parents did to them.  They taught me to fear terribly what they and others thought about me.  They programmed me to worry incessantly about when and if our house was going to explode.  I was conditioned to believe that what I felt was unimportant, and worse, my feelings were ones I should distrust.  As a result I developed food addictions, counting obsessions, and feared others.  Lost within in a world in my head, I lived my life on the edge of steep mountainside as taped recorded messages from my past seemed to recycle over and over in my mind.
I married a man who treated me very much the same way my parents treated me.  Unaware at the time that I was attracting what I knew--and not an appropriate healthy partner, eventually my life unraveled.  Depression, panic disorders, and anxiety became parts of my everyday.  
When a therapist told me that I was not crazy, but I was codependent, a mental and emotional shift occurred within me.  It was the beginning of a fabulous turn of events that have lit The Road Back To Me.
Please enjoy this story, for as you will see--it is probably very much like your own.
You are loved dear one..and You Are Enough!
Lisa A. Romano
ACoA Life Coach and Mentor
Empowering the adult child with the tools they need to move their lives beyond traditional 12 step programs. I assist ACoA's conquer limiting beliefs and help them create new belief systems that facilitate their personal growth beyond the ACoA label through a co-creative coaching experience.

More About the Author

Lisa A. Romano is a Certified ACoA Life Coach who specializes in empowering adult children from dysfunctional homes with the tools they need to move beyond their 12 step programs.

Stuck In The Past No More

"I assist people conquer their limiting, unconscious beliefs about Self;the ones they were programmed to believe when they were little and impressionable. I help adult children from all sorts of dysfunctional homes and otherwise 'normal homes' to create new belief systems that serve to facilitate their personal growth. Through a co-creative coaching/mentoring relationship unconscious beliefs are made conscious and new beliefs about the divine Self are created.

As children born to dysfunctional caretakers, we may have been brainwashed to believe we are not worthy, that our emotions don't matter, and that who we are is not valuable. Unless we learn to face these dysfunctional thinking patterns and then appropriately adopt new healthier ways of seeing Self--we unconsciously recreate our pasts by attracting people and circumstances that mimic our childhoods.

I have seen amazing transformations. My books help readers get back in touch with the emotions they were taught to deny. They are powerful tools that help readers 'remember' who they really are; Divine souls worthy of all that is good. I help them assimilate new concepts about Self, and in time they remember that they are more than what others have falsely brainwashed them to believe about Self, so much more.

I help adult children Master The Self--so that they can finally put the demons to rest and live the lives they were born to live!"

Customer Reviews

Thank you Lisa for sharing your journey!
SandraD
Her book describes her courageous life journey on the path to self discovery and healing.
Killarney
I learned how to act like everything was peachy meanwhile on the inside I was hurting.
Karen

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Karen on April 21, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
The book arrived today. I thought I was going to slowly read it over the weekend, taking breaks here and there. I couldn't put it down. I read it straight through only stopping to answer the phone a couple of times. All I can say is wow.

As you read this book, you feel as though you are standing there with her, feeling her childhood pain and you just want to be a kid alongside her and give her a hug and ask her to be your friend. So many times I said out loud "yep, I know the feeling." It brought back memories of dealing with a step-father that was a terrible alcoholic and how a once great mother-daughter relationship dwindled to next to nothing because of him. Unlike present day, back then, you never spoke of problems or issues. Not even to your closest friends. This was because family would always say it was nobody's business and it would be a major embarrassment. Meanwhile, people knew, they just didn't know how bad. Like Lisa, I wasn't allowed to discuss "family issues." I learned early on to hold back and keep everything bottled up since the adults didn't think I was wise enough at 12 years old to understand what was going on. I learned how to act like everything was peachy meanwhile on the inside I was hurting.

Lisa is a heroine. After all she has been though, she took life by the horns and showed it who is boss. She is brave. Where many would keep the skeletons in their closets, she opted to open up the door and let them out in order to not only help herself, but also people that have struggled in the past or even now in the present.

This isn't just a self help book. It is an awakening.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By beach5 on April 21, 2012
Format: Paperback
This book was SO inspiring! definitely recommend anyone to read it. The author tells of her real life experiences that ended up teaching her lessons and are very inspiring to others
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Nikki3 on April 21, 2012
Format: Paperback
This author is amazing. In her dedication she shares that she is
worried what her family is going to think about her decision to share
the way she felt as a little girl about them. Throughout the book, you
can feel the authors concern for her families feelings, in spite of the
dysfunctional relationship she had with them. I am guessing that
through her forgiveness of them, and more deeply her understanding of
who they were as children, is what lead to her emotional healing.

This book is amazing because you can feel the powerful healing of this
author through her words. She not only uses imagery so well that you
feel like you are in her living room, but you can hear her older self,
observing what she went through as a child as well.

What I enjoyed was how well the author was able to blend pain with
understanding.

I came away with feeling really inspired by her writing because she
went against the grain, and followed her guts, and broke free against
what her family had programmed her to believe.

I am so glad this author found the courage to write her story, and
followed her gut.

I understand more fully why and how I had so much anxiety growing up.
I never really felt loved either, even though my family looked so
perfect.

That was confusing. But this book showed me that I am not crazy, or
wrong for feeling crazy, because not feeling like you are allowed to
express your feelings, makes you feel crazy. Anxiety is what showed
up, because I wasn't letting me feel like me.

Now I know my only job is for me to learn to see me, and to love me,
even if the people I love, don't.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By healing214 on May 19, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Per my therapist's recommendation, I've recently spent time on ACOA blogs. I discovered Lisa Romano's ACOA blog and it so resonated with me - so much that i just finished reading her book "Road Back to Me". which was her journey. I cried a river of tears as I could have been the author - i was that little girl and somedays I can still be that little girl - however am able to stop the old tapes sooner these days. I just ordered Lisa Romano's, "The Road Beyond The Codependent Divorce"

Thank you Lisa for the courage to share your experience with us.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Mgt White on March 25, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Even though the story of the early part of her life was long-winding and I felt impatient, it was only later that you understand how she would allow her life to be dictated so much by boys /men.

Lisa's description of how she allowed herself to be under the thumb of a young boyfriend, and later her husband, showed how insecure, vulnerable and lacking in confidence she was.

I understand her anorexia as I've been there too. I understand her co-dependency and mostly I applaud her for the courage needed to leave and become the women she was always meant to be.

An inspiring book, even now reading it many years after it was written.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By R. B. Lonning on June 26, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I have not read about co-dependency before. This book was very informative and helped me to understand the issues with co-dependency.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Golophei on February 11, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I really enjoyed this book espeically the childhood and teenager parts. They connected in very deep way with my own experience and it was very very well written. Lisa was very articulate about her struggles with her mother, her self esteem and her awkward friendship attempts. Although my own Asian abusive parents had other disturbing issues and reason for thier cruel behavior but that did not stop Lisa's stories from hitting home with me. Her stories was identical to my own experiences and old scars. I could not put this book down during those chapters.

My only problem with the book was the deep connection with me was suddenly lost during her marriage. I was at lost why was she really unhappy with her marriage because her husband came accross as a tradional italian construction worker. A man I would label as "what you see is what you get" and there wasn't enough deep angle writing about her actual marriage emotional struggles like her childhood chapters. However, that might be just my reading. Nonetheless I love this book.
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