This book brings to the surface all the emotions a child is forced to deny when their home has been corrupted by the consequences of alcoholism, narcissism, perfectionism and abuse of parental power. The author has done an inspiring job at expressing the emotions as well as the perceptions a child experiences when a home is infused with denial. Poignant in her delivery, all of us adult children of alcoholics will feel as if she has written this story for our benefit as much as for hers.
If you are ready to face the elephants in the room, this author is powerful enough to help you do so.
This book is written through the eyes of a child who has been born to people who cannot 'see' her. The author recalls with amazing detail the thoughts and emotions she experienced while living in a home that was infused with guilt and shame. Lisa A. Romano has done an outstanding job at helping we recovering adult children of alcoholics remember, own, and heal the emotions our caretakers programmed us to believe we had no right to feel. Bravo to Romano.I really enjoyed this book espeically the childhood and teenager parts. They connected in very deep way with my own experience and it was very very well written. Lisa was very articulate about her struggles with her mother, her self esteem and her awkward friendship attempts. Although my own Asian abusive parents had other disturbing issues and reason for thier cruel behavior but that did not stop Lisa's stories from hitting home with me. Her stories was identical to my own experiences and old scars. I could not put this book down during those chapters. Lisa has transformed me in such a short time . I have seen numerous therapists ( at least 7 over the past 25 years at different stages of my life since my early twenties ) and have read numerous self help books. I can strongly say with exception of 2 books nothing has been able to make such an amazing difference in me the way Lisa has. I have on one occasion told her " I think you have super powers",her reaction to that has been " the super power is in you, and you just have to be able to tap into it".
From the Author
I was raised in a home that was one tattered by fear. Both of my parents were abused and neglected by their alcoholic parents. Because my parents did not drink, they presumed all their problems were solved. What they could never have known was, alcohol was not the problem. Their unconscious belief systems were. Unaware, my parents did to me what their parents did to them. They taught me to fear terribly what they and others thought about me. They programmed me to worry incessantly about when and if our house was going to explode. I was conditioned to believe that what I felt was unimportant, and worse, my feelings were ones I should distrust. As a result I developed food addictions, counting obsessions, and feared others. Lost within in a world in my head, I lived my life on the edge of steep mountainside as taped recorded messages from my past seemed to recycle over and over in my mind.
I married a man who treated me very much the same way my parents treated me. Unaware at the time that I was attracting what I knew--and not an appropriate healthy partner, eventually my life unraveled. Depression, panic disorders, and anxiety became parts of my everyday.
When a therapist told me that I was not crazy, but I was codependent, a mental and emotional shift occurred within me. It was the beginning of a fabulous turn of events that have lit The Road Back To Me.
Please enjoy this story, for as you will see--it is probably very much like your own.
You are loved dear one..and You Are Enough!
Lisa A. Romano
ACoA Life Coach and Mentor
Empowering the adult child with the tools they need to move their lives beyond traditional 12 step programs. I assist ACoA's conquer limiting beliefs and help them create new belief systems that facilitate their personal growth beyond the ACoA label through a co-creative coaching experience.