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The Road Back to Me: Healing and Recovering From Co-dependency, Addiction, Enabling, and Low Self Esteem. Paperback – April 9, 2012

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Editorial Reviews

Review

This book brings to the surface all the emotions a child is forced to deny when their home has been corrupted by the consequences of alcoholism, narcissism, perfectionism and abuse of parental power.  The author has done an inspiring job at expressing the emotions as well as the perceptions a child experiences when a home is infused with denial.  Poignant in her delivery, all of us adult children of alcoholics will feel as if she has written this story for our benefit as much as for hers.

If you are ready to face the elephants in the room, this author is powerful enough to help you do so. 


This book is written through the eyes of a child who has been born to people who cannot 'see' her.  The author recalls with amazing detail the thoughts and emotions she experienced while living in a home that was infused with guilt and shame.  Lisa A. Romano has done an outstanding job at helping we recovering adult children of alcoholics remember, own, and heal the emotions our caretakers programmed us to believe we had no right to feel. Bravo to Romano.

I really enjoyed this book espeically the childhood and teenager parts. They connected in very deep way with my own experience and it was very very well written. Lisa was very articulate about her struggles with her mother, her self esteem and her awkward friendship attempts. Although my own Asian abusive parents had other disturbing issues and reason for thier cruel behavior but that did not stop Lisa's stories from hitting home with me. Her stories was identical to my own experiences and old scars. I could not put this book down during those chapters.

 Lisa has transformed me in such a short time . I have seen numerous therapists  ( at least 7 over the past 25 years at different stages of my life since my early twenties ) and have read numerous self help books. I can strongly say with exception of 2 books nothing has been able to make such an amazing difference in me the way Lisa has. I have on one occasion told her " I think you have super powers",her reaction to that has been " the super power is in you, and you just have to be able to tap into it".

From the Author

I was raised in a home that was one tattered by fear.  Both of my parents were abused and neglected by their alcoholic parents.  Because my parents did not drink, they presumed all their problems were solved.  What they could never have known was, alcohol was not the problem.  Their unconscious belief systems were.  Unaware, my parents did to me what their parents did to them.  They taught me to fear terribly what they and others thought about me.  They programmed me to worry incessantly about when and if our house was going to explode.  I was conditioned to believe that what I felt was unimportant, and worse, my feelings were ones I should distrust.  As a result I developed food addictions, counting obsessions, and feared others.  Lost within in a world in my head, I lived my life on the edge of steep mountainside as taped recorded messages from my past seemed to recycle over and over in my mind.

I married a man who treated me very much the same way my parents treated me.  Unaware at the time that I was attracting what I knew--and not an appropriate healthy partner, eventually my life unraveled.  Depression, panic disorders, and anxiety became parts of my everyday.  
When a therapist told me that I was not crazy, but I was codependent, a mental and emotional shift occurred within me.  It was the beginning of a fabulous turn of events that have lit The Road Back To Me.
Please enjoy this story, for as you will see--it is probably very much like your own.
You are loved dear one..and You Are Enough!
Lisa A. Romano
ACoA Life Coach and Mentor
Empowering the adult child with the tools they need to move their lives beyond traditional 12 step programs. I assist ACoA's conquer limiting beliefs and help them create new belief systems that facilitate their personal growth beyond the ACoA label through a co-creative coaching experience.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 270 pages
  • Publisher: Lisa A. Romano (April 9, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0578102684
  • ISBN-13: 978-0578102689
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (69 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #304,656 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Lisa A. Romano is the Owner and Founder of Breakthrough Coaching.
She is a bestselling author, international Life Coach, and the host of her own Youtube Channel. To her credit she is also one of the handpicked Life Coaches chosen to represent Goaly.com.

"My goal is to spread awareness. We are not our programming. We are not the perceptions we were brainwashed to believe others held of us. We are not the labels our parents, teachers, or religions imprinted into our subconscious minds. It is not our fault we did not know we did not have to accept others realities. When we were children, our brains accepted the realities of others. If the authorities in our lives were dysfunctional, they impacted our ability to tune into our inner world. If we do not honor the self today, it is because we have been programmed to disown the self instead."

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful By Karen on April 21, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
The book arrived today. I thought I was going to slowly read it over the weekend, taking breaks here and there. I couldn't put it down. I read it straight through only stopping to answer the phone a couple of times. All I can say is wow.

As you read this book, you feel as though you are standing there with her, feeling her childhood pain and you just want to be a kid alongside her and give her a hug and ask her to be your friend. So many times I said out loud "yep, I know the feeling." It brought back memories of dealing with a step-father that was a terrible alcoholic and how a once great mother-daughter relationship dwindled to next to nothing because of him. Unlike present day, back then, you never spoke of problems or issues. Not even to your closest friends. This was because family would always say it was nobody's business and it would be a major embarrassment. Meanwhile, people knew, they just didn't know how bad. Like Lisa, I wasn't allowed to discuss "family issues." I learned early on to hold back and keep everything bottled up since the adults didn't think I was wise enough at 12 years old to understand what was going on. I learned how to act like everything was peachy meanwhile on the inside I was hurting.

Lisa is a heroine. After all she has been though, she took life by the horns and showed it who is boss. She is brave. Where many would keep the skeletons in their closets, she opted to open up the door and let them out in order to not only help herself, but also people that have struggled in the past or even now in the present.

This isn't just a self help book. It is an awakening.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Nikki3 on April 21, 2012
Format: Paperback
This author is amazing. In her dedication she shares that she is
worried what her family is going to think about her decision to share
the way she felt as a little girl about them. Throughout the book, you
can feel the authors concern for her families feelings, in spite of the
dysfunctional relationship she had with them. I am guessing that
through her forgiveness of them, and more deeply her understanding of
who they were as children, is what lead to her emotional healing.

This book is amazing because you can feel the powerful healing of this
author through her words. She not only uses imagery so well that you
feel like you are in her living room, but you can hear her older self,
observing what she went through as a child as well.

What I enjoyed was how well the author was able to blend pain with
understanding.

I came away with feeling really inspired by her writing because she
went against the grain, and followed her guts, and broke free against
what her family had programmed her to believe.

I am so glad this author found the courage to write her story, and
followed her gut.

I understand more fully why and how I had so much anxiety growing up.
I never really felt loved either, even though my family looked so
perfect.

That was confusing. But this book showed me that I am not crazy, or
wrong for feeling crazy, because not feeling like you are allowed to
express your feelings, makes you feel crazy. Anxiety is what showed
up, because I wasn't letting me feel like me.

Now I know my only job is for me to learn to see me, and to love me,
even if the people I love, don't.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Amazon fan on October 22, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I have read a lot of self help books over the years.I could not put this one down. I don't remember the last time I read a book so fast. It was as though the author was describing my childhood and my feelings better than I ever could. Reading this book and having my feelings validated gave me so much strength and made me lighter. I have also found the author's you tube videos very helpful.
Since reading this book I have contacted the author . She is an amazing life coach and has made a big difference in my life.
She is simply amazing !
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By K. H. on February 3, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
The author's honesty about her youth is refreshing and real, and invites the same honest look at one's own life. However, I was disappointed that the author took us on a journey through her broken places and then stopped short of taking us on the journey promised by the book's title, of her path to healing and recovery. She tells the truth of her demise, and ultimately, since the truth does set one free, we can imagine that she will arrive at wholeness after she pens the last word of this book, but the reader will have to guess as to how she arrives there. The book's main value is that it models taking an honest, objective look at the experiences and reactions to same that get us to the need to embark upon the road to recovery.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Mgt White on March 25, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Even though the story of the early part of her life was long-winding and I felt impatient, it was only later that you understand how she would allow her life to be dictated so much by boys /men.

Lisa's description of how she allowed herself to be under the thumb of a young boyfriend, and later her husband, showed how insecure, vulnerable and lacking in confidence she was.

I understand her anorexia as I've been there too. I understand her co-dependency and mostly I applaud her for the courage needed to leave and become the women she was always meant to be.

An inspiring book, even now reading it many years after it was written.
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