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The Rules (TM): Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right [Kindle Edition]

Ellen Fein , Sherrie Schneider
3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (840 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $10.00
Kindle Price: $6.91
You Save: $3.09 (31%)
Sold by: Hachette Book Group

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Book Description

You are a creature unlike any other (Rule #1)--that's why you need . . . The Rules. A simple set of dos and don'ts, The Rules will lead you to where you want to be: in a healthy, committed relationship. Unlike today's haphazard dating customs, The Rules recognizes certain facts of life. That men know what they want. That a man is either attracted to you--or not! That men want a challenge, not an instant or easy victory. When you follow these commonsense guidelines, you treat yourself with respect and dignity--and demand that men do likewise. Although they sound old-fashioned ("Don't see him more than once or twice a week"), they encourage you to lead a full, satisfying, busy life--outside of romance. Although they seem tough ("Don't talk to a man first"), they will teach you how to accept occasional defeat and move on. And although they require discipline ("No more than casual kissing on the first date"), they will bring out the best in you and in the men you date. The goal? Marriage, in the shortest time possible, to a man you love, who loves you even more than you love him.

Editorial Reviews Review

An unexpected bestseller, this self-help book for women who want to hook a man seems to have struck a chord with desperate American women. Fein and Schneider, whose main credentials seem to be that they are married, lay out the rules to be followed for successfully snagging a dream hunk. And these rules are hard as cast-iron--Rule Five: Don't Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls. The idea is to return to pre-feminist mind games, exploiting the male hunting urge by playing hard to get. The result seems unliberating--Rule Seventeen: Let Him Take the Lead--but it seems to be capturing female minds. Rules Girls are eyeing the phone with steely resolve, and Rules seminars are springing up nationwide. Curious bachelors have been observed studying The Rules, some frowning, others with the supercilious smile of the hunter.


The Rules is not just a book; it's a movement. -- Time, Elizabeth Gleick

Product Details

  • File Size: 541 KB
  • Print Length: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Grand Central Publishing (June 6, 2001)
  • Sold by: Hachette Book Group
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B002UGU36S
  • Text-to-Speech: Not enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #18,184 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
295 of 316 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars How to catch *certain* men, but not others December 3, 2002
Format:Mass Market Paperback
I'm very glad The Rules came out.
After finding "The Rules" I gained an insight into the game that *certain* types of men expected me to play, and were themselves playing.
However as I was trying to do the Rules, I realized that "The Rules" just don't work on some people, and that doesn't make it a bad relationship or a bad situation -- it just means that these people don't follow the same male/female roles.
I agree with Dr. Tracy Cabot, and the previous reviewer who mentioned Kiersey/Myers-Briggs persoality typing, in that "The Rules" fail to take into account individual sensitivity. In short, it's a good description of some people... but not of others.
Despite its flaws, I find "The Rules" is a good guide for survival out in the dating world. I can see how this book has its merits. It is a very useful guide to how to set your own limits, and not get taken advantage of.
I don't think it has universal applicability, and I think you need to exercise some critical thinking about each rule.
The basic spirit of "The Rules" is don't get with anyone who doesn't already like *you*, don't make yourself totally available with your time, make them do their share of the work, and don't let them - too early in the game - think they've 'won you' before you've actually set up a committed relationship.
This is great advice for *anyone*. This is especially great advice for those "nice guys" out there who can't get women to like them as anything more than friends. Basically the message is... "don't let them win the race before they've actually crossed the finish line." Don't give your all to someone who hasn't given their all.
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143 of 160 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Just finished it... July 8, 2009
Format:Mass Market Paperback
After yet ANOTHER time of starting out a potential relationship with the guy being totally infatuated with me and then ending it within a few months, I read this book.

All this time I have wondered why on Earth guys started out thinking I was this interesting, intriguing, wonderful, irreplaceable woman then did a total 180, and here this book lined it all up for me. I started out being myself--sassy, feisty, interesting me--and as I turned towards liking a guy, I'd completely lose myself in the relationship, which would cause him to lose interest in me. I wasn't me anymore, I was doormat shell of a me.

I was able to identify actual moments in this last relationship where his interest in me started slipping--and it was all stuff that I was doing that the Rules warn against.

Granted, this book does not have ALL the answers--for example, I would imagine that you can only tell someone so many times that "I have plans" or "I'm so busy" without giving a single detail as to what you're doing before they think you're a liar or a manipulative cow. The book doesn't go into what to say when they ask "Doing what?". And it doesn't cover cell phones/text messaging/social networking stuff.

But a lot of it is teaching women to be courteous to themselves and their friends. We shouldn't break plans with friends or avoid making weekend plans in the hopes that the guy will call last minute. We shouldn't sit by the phone waiting to pick up after half a ring. We SHOULD resist the temptation to find excuses to call, and the temptation to bend over backwards for him without getting the same treatment in return. We SHOULD expect romantic and thoughtful gifts--measured by effort, not by cost--from someone who loves us.
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71 of 78 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars One of The Authors Is Getting Divorced August 1, 2002
Format:Mass Market Paperback
After reading Rules I, II, and III, I came to the conclusion that the purpose of these books is to draw an even greater rift between men and women. Some of the advice is excellent (letting him pay for dates, having one's own life, etc.) But I have many objections. First of all, these women have not even been married long enough (Ellen Fein's divorcing) to say The Rules are *guaranteed* to work. I was uncomfortable with the the bossy, know-it-all attitude of the authors, and their blatant lack of consistency as they wrote the second and third books.
One frightening piece of advice in the third book (which are rules for marriage) advises women on sex. They tell the story of a wife who complained to them her husband wanted sex every single day of the month, literally. Well, they said that when it comes to sex, THE MAN RULES IN THAT AREA--PERIOD. I was shocked. It didn't make a difference to them if the wife was exhausted because of kids or work, she should give him all the sex he wants--EVEN if it kills her. Just how is a woman supposed to enjoy sex if she's not in the mood? Isn't it obvious this poor woman is not the one who needs advice, but the husband, who has no consideration for her body? I can't imagine what would happen if that poor woman went away for a week...
A *major* theme of the series is to conceal from one's partner any distress, sadness or problems. Some men aren't adept at seeing a woman in distress, but what kind of man is that, if he can't--even on occasion--let his woman cry into his chest? It only means that he is looking for a Fairy Princess floating on a cloud who has no other concern except which flowers she will pick today. That kind of man is NOT a man at all and isn't worth dealing with. Yet, the authors encourage women to cater to that type.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars All About Manipulation
This book which came out about twenty years ago is all about pretending to be someone else you are not and trying everything to manipulate a man to marry you. Read more
Published 8 days ago by karsiyaka
1.0 out of 5 stars I was recently reminded that this crap actually existed and I decided...
This drivel is still out there?! I was recently reminded that this crap actually existed and I decided to see if it was still out there or had faded to well deserved obscurity. Read more
Published 12 days ago by Angie Brunk
2.0 out of 5 stars Two Stars
Great collection of easy and quick quilts to make for baby.
Published 27 days ago by gracecat
4.0 out of 5 stars this was better than the 2nd one
this was better than the 2nd one. i love the tips on this one but, the 2nd one was a little overboard
Published 1 month ago by jacjac alba
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
very helpful
Published 1 month ago by Alisa C. Jost
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Great book
Published 1 month ago by KJK
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Great advice!
Published 1 month ago by Dr. Ann M. Lee
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent and refreshing
Excellent and refreshing. A traditional way to approach love and connection. If you are struggling with dating, having a hard time connecting with men in a meaningful way or are... Read more
Published 1 month ago by F. Giordano
1.0 out of 5 stars prefer why marry marry bitches.
prefer why marry marry bitches.
Published 1 month ago by SHivaniVarma
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Good advice
Published 2 months ago by Megaron
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Topic From this Discussion
ok, I blew it; now what ? ? ?
It's done. Pointless to rehash it. You talk with him again, you will show EMOTION. When you show emotion you give him your power. He knows you're emotional about him he knows he has you.

Read the Rules again. If you were following the Rules this wouldn't have happened.

Good luck.
Jul 2, 2011 by CateS |  See all 8 posts
It helps us women find guys who are willing to be good husbands.
But you also have to judge the intentions of the man who's pursuing you. Some men pursue some women hard because the women come from wealthy or influencial backgrounds. That doesn't mean that the men are good-husband potential. Just opportunists.
Jan 24, 2006 by A Regular Reader |  See all 7 posts
Is there ANY time in a relationship where accepting spontaneous invites... Be the first to reply
Great Advice Book On Dating and Men Be the first to reply
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