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The Science of Happily Ever After: What Really Matters in the Quest for Enduring Love [Kindle Edition]

Ty Tashiro
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (52 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $24.95
Kindle Price: $11.99
You Save: $12.96 (52%)
Sold by: Harlequin Digital Sales Corp.
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O's Little Book of Happiness
"O's Little Book of Happiness"
A collection of thoughtful and affecting writing on happiness-the first in a series of inspirational books from O. Magazine. Learn more | More in Self-Help

Book Description

In this playful and informative exploration of the science behind how to choose a great mate, acclaimed relationship psychologist Dr. Ty Tashiro explores how to find enduring love. Dr. Tashiro translates reams of scientific studies and research data into the first book to revolutionize the way we search for love. His research pinpoints why our decision-making abilities seem to fail when it comes to choosing mates and how we can make smarter choices. 

Dr. Tashiro has discovered that if you want a lifetime of happiness—not just togetherness—it all comes down to how you choose a partner in the first place. With wit and insight, he explains the science behind finding a soul mate and distills his research into actionable tips, including: 

Why you get only three wishes when choosing your ideal partner. 

Why most people squander their wishes and end up in unfulfilling relationships. 

How wishing for the three traits that really matter can help you find enduring love. 

Illustrated using entertaining stories based on real-life situations and backed by scientific findings from fields such as demography, sociology, medical science and psychology, Dr. Tashiro provides an accessible framework  to help singles find their happily-ever-afters.

Editorial Reviews


"Complete with exercises, quizzes, sound advice, and a practical yet supportive tone, Tashiro offers the closest thing to a roadmap for "happily-ever-after."   - Publishers Weekly, Starred Review

"This engaging and thought-provoking book is highly recommended for readers seeking to learn more about romantic relationship dynamics..."  - Library Journal

About the Author

Ty Tashiro, Ph.D., is a relationship expert for the Discovery Network's Fit and Health Channel. He received his Ph.D. in psychology from the University of Minnesota and he has been an award winning professor at the University of Maryland and University of Colorado. Dr. Tashiro is often cited as an expert on relationship breakups, enhancing long-term relationships, and online dating. Visit him at

Product Details

  • File Size: 1496 KB
  • Print Length: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Harlequin Nonfiction (February 1, 2014)
  • Sold by: Harlequin Digital Sales Corp.
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #68,004 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant February 7, 2014
This book combines massive amounts of love research with hilarious personal stories in an easy-to-read, memorable way. Concrete suggestions are made to guide decision making in order to find enduring love - perfect for any single girl like me. I often have difficulty focusing when reading boring research articles; this book has made me laugh out loud multiple times, while describing depths of research on the topic. I highly recommend this book!
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars making good choices for a better future March 30, 2014
Format:Hardcover|Vine Customer Review of Free Product (What's this?)
Books about relationships, fitness, and or dieting are my guilty pleasure. The way some people read a romance novel, I read these "self help" type books. Thus, although my reading pile is tall, this book made its way to the top as soon as I got it. For extra appeal, it has some charts and statistics to add some geek factor and a little sly humor to make it more fun.

The basic idea in the book, at least to start, is that romantic love and marrying for love and thinking of concerns above basic survival is a rather new concept for us humans, so we are still hardwired to want things that will help with basic survival even though we don't need those things any more. Basically, attractiveness, which indicates health and successful reproduction, and resource gathering skills, which is basically we are hardwired to want wealthy, good looking partners even though that doesn't help us at all with having a happy, healthy romantic relationship that will last us the rest of our lives.

Then there is the fact that when you start narrowing down the field of eligible singles, if you say you want someone who is tall, good looking and has a college degree, you've already eliminated most of the dating pool right there and none of those three traits are what make for a happy and lasting relationship. So, you should choose three qualities that you would like in another person that will actually make YOU happy.

I kind of thought that was the whole message of the book, but after a certain point it veers off into talking about relationship attachment styles and how people end up with the style they have and how you should look for someone with a healthy attachment style.
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Vine Customer Review of Free Product (What's this?)
Easy scientific read. If you are interested in the science of love then this is a good book for you. If you are looking for a relationship it is a good read. If how ever you are looking to improve a relationship that is having issues - skip this.

There are many studies on love and Tashird uses some of them to make points about finding relationships and how to pick the best ones. He points out what people do wrong in picking a mate and how important background is. He talks about negative traits vs positive ones and the weight of them.

However other than picking a mate and understanding relationships more this book has no practical help for those who have been in long term relationship and find themselves challenged love and living together.

Pros - Interesting points based on science
Reduces a list of wants to 3 important items
Strong section on positive and negative traits
Includes family and how it is important
Easy to read and not dry

Cons - Doesn't take in to account that people change and grow
Doesn't discuss two individuals keeping the spark alive
Isn't for a continuing relationship, just finding the right mate.

Nice book for those in the beginning of a journey
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Much more than a self-help book! February 14, 2014
I’m a dude not particularly into self-help books and definitely not into love-help books. Therefore, I was surprised at how enthralled I was with this book. Relationships and mating are what society was built upon, and Tashiro shines a light on this topic in a way that makes you understand people and society better. I found the part explaining the origin/evolution of marriage particularly interesting. Following a science/pop culture fusion that is repeated throughout the book, he explains the origin of marriage through studies that estimated expendable calories before the industrial revolution, highlighted how many calories can be wasted through an unrestrained/perpetual courtship process [enter Jersey Shore anecdote here], and pointed to marriage as a way that clans and villages could keep their adolescents from wasting all their resources. Throughout the book, he explains many such aspects of society in a very scientific, entertaining, and memorable way.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars delivers in all areas May 15, 2014
Format:Hardcover|Vine Customer Review of Free Product (What's this?)
There is a plethora of research about relationships and this book takes a lot of it and presents it in an entertaining, highly relatable, and cogent fashion. Dr. Tashiro uses personal experience and stories as well as information about culture to weave a tapestry of information that answers a lot of questions about why people have so much trouble finding partners or forming successful relationships starting from the choices they make or the things they see (or fail to see).

It should be noted that this is not a psychology book, but it does relate to psychology. The content is more focused on broader sociological factors than individual characteristics and choices (though that is a part of it as well). I'm especially impressed by how he offers statistical data in a way which is easily digestible.

This is a very enjoyable read, especially considering the high caliber content based on research. If you want to know why relationships fail or why the phrase "you're too picky" actually carries a lot of validity, this is a book for you.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars If you have failed at love and don't understand why -- especially if...
If you have failed at love and don't understand why -- especially if you keep choosing the "wrong" person but don't know how to stop -- download this book NOW.
Published 12 days ago by Amazon Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars WOW
WOW- I learned so much about relationships and attraction. I have recommended this book to several friends and family.
Published 14 days ago by Slingshot
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Great book, one of the best out there on relationship science.
Published 25 days ago by Greg Poole
5.0 out of 5 stars This is a quick and easy read. Tashiro writes in an accessible style
This is a quick and easy read. Tashiro writes in an accessible style, with humor and anecdotes. I fully appreciate the grounding in science - studies conducted on couples. Read more
Published 1 month ago by B. Cannon
3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
It is for singles, I read one page before I bought it, I thought it was for married couples...
Published 1 month ago by J N
4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent choice.
A straightforward reading allied to grounded scientific research is the strenght of this book. Excellent choice.
Published 2 months ago by Renato Kogeyama
5.0 out of 5 stars A helpful framework for evaluating your relationships, both past and...
Finally, a book that takes a scientific approach to the age old question of how to find, and what to look for, for a "happily every after". Read more
Published 2 months ago by Ilya Grigorik
3.0 out of 5 stars not what I expected
I am not at a point in my relationship that this book matters to me. If you are looking for a long term relationship and want to avoid some of your past mistakes you may find this... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Terry
5.0 out of 5 stars good reading
By far one of the best titles that put it together. Illuminating the bizarre past love experiences, and providing roadmap for future.
Published 4 months ago by D. S. Aykac
5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful and challenges beliefs
Insightful and will question single people's default instincts in selection process of a partner which is necessary for every person who is looking in a serious for a potential... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Manoj Ramakrishnan
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More About the Author

Hi, I'm Ty Tashiro, author of THE SCIENCE OF HAPPILY EVER AFTER: What Really Matters in the Quest for Enduring Love. My interest in the science of romantic relationships started while I was doing my graduate studies in psychology at the University of Minnesota. I became fascinated with the idea that researchers could find answers to age old questions about attraction, dating, sex, and marriage.

While I was an Assistant Professor at the University of Maryland, I taught a class about the psychology of relationships and also conducted research on romantic relationship processes. In this dual role as teacher and researcher, I realized that there was a gulf between my students' practical questions about relationships and the answers that were locked away in a vast sea of esoteric research findings.

So, I sat down to write THE SCIENCE OF HAPPILY EVER AFTER with the goal of answering common relationship questions that singles encounter while trying to navigate the complex and sometimes frustrating world of modern love. I've done my best to frame these important questions about how to choose a great mate with entertaining stories and clear explanations of the best relationship research available.

I also write "The Science of Love" for the Discovery Network's Fit and Health Channel and serve as an Assistant Research Professor with the Center for Addiction, Emotion, and Personality Research at the University of Maryland. I live in New York City, where people provide me with a constant stream of fascinating stories of love found, love lost, and every now and then, a love story that ends happily ever after.

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