Haltzman's promise of stress-free marital bliss is attractive, but his advice grates, recalling the worst sort of paternalistic misogyny. After explaining that men's worst communication habits are the result of genetics, Haltzman goes on to say that men need to be nurtured, require acknowledgement for their efforts and only get married for sex. So much for wives "doing less"! Once readers recover from their shock, they'll begin to notice that whether Haltzman is focusing on arguing efficiently, spicing up your sex life or learning to recognize nonverbal expressions of love and remorse, the lesson is the same: a wife should always love and accept her husband for who he is and always has been, even after the initial throes of romantic love fade away. That core is sound, but it's hard to say who Haltzman treats less kindly on the way there: men, who are described as intractably difficult, or women, who are told to put up with them anyway.
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As Haltzman (psychiatry & human behavior, Brown Univ.; The Secrets of Happily Married Men) knows-he’s been married for 20 years-the idea of shaping one’s marriage without it seeming like another job appeals to most women. Together with DiGeronimo (Raising Baby Green), he here proposes that men are hardwired to please women and that if a knowledgeable wife tailors her message to the way her husband can hear it, she will enjoy a deeper connection and achieve happiness without compromise. In a manner somewhat similar to John Gray’s in Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, the authors advise married female readers to speak in shorter sentences, directly ask for what they want, and take charge of their own spiritual and intellectual need. Well done and recommended to update marital self-help sections.-Deborah Bigelow, Director, Leonia P.L., NJ (Library Journal, January 2008)
“…this delightful...humorous and entertaining book is a must- read for savvy brides-to-be.” (Ladies First, Spring 2008)--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title. See all Editorial Reviews
I just got married not too long ago and I felt like me and my husband weren't doing well, he wasn't being the romantic and attentive man I married for a while and I felt so alone... Read morePublished 17 days ago by sweetheart333
I received the book in no time at all. It is an amazing book. I highly recommend it to everyone who really wants a happy marriage including husbands!!! :) Dr. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Myriam D'Alessandro
Also purchased "Secrets of Happily Married Men". Very insightful and realistic. Been in marriage counseling 3 times and to many seminars, read multiple books and spent a... Read morePublished 3 months ago by Donna Lorenz
I'm a 21-year old, single woman writing my senior thesis on marital instability. One variable I've never been able to truly quantify is the level of communication satisfaction... Read morePublished 21 months ago by M
Answered many of my questions about men -- Why do they do that? -- and explained many of my own reactions and decisions. Read morePublished 22 months ago by B. Trippe
If your questioning your strength of your marriage, get this book. It will enlighten you and I bet you will find your answers.Published 23 months ago by Lori
Saved my relationship. Wish it had a bit more humor, as his book for men does. But perhaps, being male, he was cautious chiding the opposite sex!Published on August 8, 2013 by CK