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The Self-Destruction Handbook: 8 Simple Steps to an Unhealthier You Paperback – May 25, 2004
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About the Author
JESSICA STAMEN is an SWF with a kind heart, questionable morals, and a history of Oprah-esque weight fluctuation. She is looking for: a man.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
CONGRATULATIONS! In picking up this book you have already accomplished more than you may realize. For one thing, you've made a statement about yourself—you are not someone who simply follows the crowd. Let's face it, there are thousands of books on how to avoid self-destructive behavior. As far as we know, however, this is the world's first book on how to embrace self-destruction, enjoy it, and pursue it to its fullest extent. Take a moment just to congratulate yourself on being unique enough to recognize this fact, and brave enough to investigate it.
The self-hurt goal
Our goal here is simple: We want to help you not help yourself To that end, we offer advice on everything from how to stalk an ex to how to smoke with emphysema. Wondering which gateway drug is right for you? This book will help you decide. Not sure how much degradation you can take? Probably more than you think: We'll help you push your limits.
No matter what self-destructive behavior you're interested in pursuing, chances are we've got some valuable advice and encouragement for you.
Destruction Isn't Death
Self-destruction is not suicide. In fact, they are very different. Suicidal people want to end life altogether, whereas self-destructives enjoy debasing themselves, degrading others, and generally wreaking physical and emotional havoc on the world around them. There is nothing more life-affirming than total destruction, whereas death, in our opinion, is zero fun.
If you are suicidal, then you have probably lost all sense of irony and should look elsewhere for help.
If, on the other hand, you hope to mastermind and botch multiple suicide attempts in order to frighten and manipulate people who care about you, we've got some real gems for you in chapter 8.
Your self-hurt journey
We're not going to lie to you. Self-destruction can be a difficult and sometimes lonely road. That is why, if you remember only one thing as you read this book, we want you to remember this: The whole point of self-destruction is that it's fun. If you're not having fun, then you might as well be taking vitamins, "working" on your relationships, and reading self-help books.
Your goal here should be to develop and pursue your destructive tendencies to their fullest potential, and to have a good time doing it. Before you read further, we'd like you to reflect for a moment on the most self-destructive thing you've ever done. Gratifying, wasn't it?
Okay, let's get to it!
More About the Author
Top Customer Reviews
We live in a Self-Help Age. In fact, I dare you to find someone who hasn't snuck a peek at one of these lifestyle-bibles, whether it's Dale Carnegie, Dr. Phil, 7 Habits, or another self-improvement book. The search is futile because we live in a culture which bombards us with a million different messages saying that we aren't good enough, productive enough, thin enough, having good enough (or enough good) sex . . . the list goes on and on, and there are hundreds of books out there which proclaim to have the answers. Who could resist?
The Self-Destruction Handbook is the first time that anyone has had the nerve to stop and challenge this phenomenon. Wasson and Stamen take self-help to the edge, and then they keep right on going. . .
It's not that the S-D HB ridicules those of us who had made honest attempts at improving our lives, but rather that it takes on the self-proclaimed Self-Help Guru's who have founded empires (and made millions) on the backs of such hapless souls. In fact, I would argue that in their own perverse way, the authors have offered their own improvement strategies to readers. Through their sometimes irreverent, sometimes more biting critiques of the Self-Help Empires, they remind us that oftentimes the most effective coping strategies are a healthy sense of humor and the insistance on not taking life so damn seriously.
Next time you're snorting with laughter in the self-help aisle, buy this book instead. If you're snorting anything else in the self-help aisle, you probably already have it.
I, for one, am proud to call myself a vodka-swilling, tobacco-smoking, un-politically correct, hedonistic, debaucherous twentysomething - and thanks to this book, I'll have all the extra tips and advice a girl could ever need when navigating the cold, gloomy winters of Boston. I loved it so much, i went right out and got a canadian wax.
I love this book. Hallelujah. I'm giving one to all my friends as holiday presents.
The sad part is, the ironies of this book will be lost on some people, especially those who will see this book as "un-PC".
It may seem cruel and ill-advised, but small minded people need to remember that this book is a PARODY. After reading this book, I would strongly recommend it to anyone with a sense of humor who appreciates observational, sociological hilarity. Actually, so much of the issues touched on in this book are the subjects of hundreds of stupid, useless "self-help" books, but they look at it from the opposite (and often accurate) perspective. Read it, and if you feel that it's too mean, keep reading.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I give this book to everyone I know who has a sense of humor. It will make you laugh out loud constantly.Published 21 months ago by Jane Humphrey
Read it. It's a book, it has pages and words and pictures and stuff. Great ! It is in English and I understood a good part of it.Published on December 10, 2013 by Fred Gloppins
I was hoping to get a book that gave insight into self destruction and helpful ways to deal with it. Instead I got a bunch of random anecdotes about the authors life.Published on August 17, 2013 by Matthew Campbell
I was just bored and wanted a quick read. Its a very cute book. I let my friends borrow it as wellPublished on May 30, 2013 by Megan Fernandez
I love this book, it's sarcastic and funny. 8 Steps to an unhealthier you. I am also a fan of the stick figures.Published on December 12, 2012 by Amazon Customer
This is the funniest book I've read since Woody Allen's Side Effects and Chelsey Handler's Hey Vodka...! Wasson is brilliantly funny. Read morePublished on September 3, 2009 by Minelli
Finally a self-no-help book that I can relate to. If you're tired of cliches and platitudes that try to make you believe that you can actually better yourself when all you want to... Read morePublished on September 27, 2006 by David Title
This book can be very entertaining at times. However, I found myself falling asleep at certain times while reading this book.Published on August 23, 2005 by baligathi