“In this wise and moving memoir, George Estreich tells the story of his family as his younger daughter is diagnosed with Down syndrome and they are thrust into an unfamiliar world. Estreich writes with a poet's eye and gift of language, weaving this personal journey into the larger history of his family, exploring the deep and often hidden connections between the past and the present. Engaging and unsentimental, The Shape of the Eye taught me a great deal. It is a story I found myself thinking about long after I'd finished the final pages.”—Kim Edwards, author of The Memory Keeper’s Daughter
When Laura Estreich is born, her appearance presents a puzzle: does the shape of her eyes indicate Down syndrome, or the fact that she has a Japanese grandmother? In this powerful memoir, George Estreich, a poet and stay-at-home dad, tells his daughter's story, reflecting on her inheritance—from the literal legacy of her genes, to the family history that precedes her, to the Victorian physician John Langdon Down’s diagnostic error of “Mongolian idiocy.” Against this backdrop, Laura takes her place in the Estreich family as a unique child, quirky and real, loved for everything ordinary and extraordinary about her.
“Estreich brings a poet's eye and ear, an historian's depth of understanding, a humorist's healthy skepticism, and a scientist's curiosity to this poignant story of what it means to be a family.”—Tracy Daugherty, author of Hiding Man: A Biography of Donald Barthelme
“A beautifully told adventure tale of the heart. As the title suggests, George Estreich artfully and honestly—and often humorously—explores how we shape and are shaped by the people closest to us. What he discovers is nothing less than a revelation about the nature of love.”—Mitchell Zuckoff, author of Choosing Naia: A Family’s Journey
The Shape of the Eye: A Memoir
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"FOUR STARS! [An] elegantly written, unsentimental memoir."—PEOPLE MAGAZINE [PEOPLE's Pick of the Week]
"A poignant, beautifully written, and intensely moving memoir"—Abraham Verghese, author of Cutting for Stone
"A poignant, beautifully written, and intensely moving memoir"—Abraham Verghese, author of Cutting for Stone
"In this wise and moving memoir, George Estreich tells the story of his family as his younger daughter is diagnosed with Down syndrome and they are thrust into an unfamiliar world. Estreich writes with a poet's eye and gift of language, weaving this personal journey into the larger history of his family, exploring the deep and often hidden connections between the past and the present. Engaging and unsentimental, The Shape of the Eye taught me a great deal. It is a story I found myself thinking about long after I'd finished the final pages."—Kim Edwards, author of The Memory Keeper's Daughter
“An elegantly written, luminous, and profoundly human portrait of pain and sorrow, hope and cautious optimism.” – Booklist [starred review]
"The moving, heartbreakingly lucid story about how a family learned to cope with, and ultimately appreciate, a daughter born with Down syndrome. A poignantly eloquent meditation on the genetics of belonging."—KIRKUS REVIEW
"A father’s eloquent, searching memoir."—MORE Magazine [Ranked by MORE Magazine as one of "Five Books That Will Transform The Way You Think"]
“An elegantly written, luminous, and profoundly human portrait of pain and sorrow, hope and cautious optimism.” – Booklist [starred review]
"The moving, heartbreakingly lucid story about how a family learned to cope with, and ultimately appreciate, a daughter born with Down syndrome. A poignantly eloquent meditation on the genetics of belonging."—KIRKUS REVIEW
"A father’s eloquent, searching memoir."—MORE Magazine [Ranked by MORE Magazine as one of "Five Books That Will Transform The Way You Think"]
“The Shape of the Eye is a memoir of a father’s love for his daughter, his struggle to understand her disability, and his journey toward embracing her power and depth. Estreich is raw and honest and draws us each into a new view of what it means to be 'human’ and what it means to be ‘different’. This book is beautifully written, poetically insightful, and personally transformative. To read it is to rethink everything and to be happy because of the journey.” —Timothy P. Shriver, Ph.D., Chairman and CEO, Special Olympics
“The Shape of the Eye personalizes Down syndrome, bringing a condition abstracted in the medical literature into the full dimensionality of one family’s life. . . . Because Estreich has opened his home and heart in this memoir, we are privileged to witness in chaotic, heart-wrenching, joyous detail what it means to have and to love a child with Down syndrome.”—Marcia Childress, Director of Program in Humanities, University of Virginia School of Medicine, University of Virginia School of Medicine
“At every turn [Estreich] finds metaphor where others might see only heartbreak or uncertainty…. He transcends his particular situation to find story, to find meaning and wisdom. Memoir, a genre sometimes maligned as self-indulgent and narcissistic, finds in Estreich a practitioner who brings deserved dignity to the form.” —Madeleine Blais, author of In These Girls, Hope Is a Muscle, from the judge’s citation for the 2012 Oregon Book Award in Creative Nonfiction.
“The Shape of the Eye is a story of misunderstanding, devastating pain, and overwhelming challenge. It is also a story of intense bonds between a man and a woman, between parent and child, and between family and community. It is a story of growth and learning. Ultimately it is a story, beautifully written, of loyalty, affection, persistence, and the most important human victory, which is love.” —Robert Morgan, author of Gap Creek
“No other writer could have written a book this penetrating and this humane. Estreich brings to his personal story of a family's experience of Down syndrome a poet's eye and ear, an historian's depth of understanding, a humorist's healthy skepticism, and a scientist's curiosity. The result is a splendid, stimulating, and extremely moving account of what it means to be a family, what it means to be human.” —Tracy Daugherty, author of Just One Catch: A Biography of Joseph Heller
“The Shape of the Eye is a moving memoir that stands with one foot in past and present, immigrant and second-generation, typical and special needs–and is about all the slowly dawning understandings that come from those intersections. It's a testament to how a child with Down syndrome and her parents alike learn: just as all children grow towards adulthood with a unique sense of how to adapt, so too do adults grow into their parenthood.” —Paul Collins, author of Not Even Wrong: A Father's Journey into the Lost History of Autism
“George Estreich’s The Shape of the Eye is a book about the minute details and profound perplexities of our lives, closely observed and compellingly narrated; but more than this, it is a story about being open to the unexpected, about how welcoming a child with Down syndrome leads one to see the world anew. The Shape of the Eye is a richly rewarding book– witty, reflective, and deeply human.” —Michael Bérubé, author of Life as We Know It: A Father, a Family, and an Exceptional Child
“This is the story of Laura, a girl with Down syndrome who taught a family to love with ordinary perfection and uncommon relevance. Expect to be taken on a journey, too, as Laura asks: What's most important in your life?” —Brian Skotko, MD, MPP, co-author of Common Threads: Celebrating Life with Down Syndrome
“George Estreich artfully and honestly—and often humorously—explores how we shape and are shaped by the people closest to us. When he’s not digging out from a 9.0 on his Richter Scale of diapers, what he discovers is nothing less than a revelation about the nature of love.” —Mitchell Zuckoff, author of Choosing Naia: A Family’s Journey
“This is a marvelous book. There is an unmistakable air of honesty, authenticity, and humility that underpins the author’s writing. For those of us with family members born with Down Syndrome, many of Estreich’s observations have an unerring veracity.” —David Wright, Professor of History at McGill University, H-Net Online
“Estreich's gift for writing is extraordinary, his prose wry and evocative. I found myself re-reading many passages, rolling them over in my mind, savoring and absorbing each word.” —Lisa Morguess, literarymama.com
“Estreich…bring[s] both wry humor and a poet’s exquisite sensitivity to the meaning and metaphor within ‘hard facts.’” —Josephine Ensign, “Medical Margins” blog
WINNER OF THE OREGON BOOK AWARD 2012
About the Author
George Estreich's collection of poems, Textbook Illustrations of the Human Body, won the Gorsline Prize and was published in 2004. A woodworker, fly-fisherman, and guitar player, he has taught composition, creative writing, and literature at several universities. He lives in Corvallis with his wife Theresa, a research scientist, and his two daughters, Ellie and Laura.
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
This is a book from the world of the imperfect child, a world in fact home to all of us. Estreich has written of his daughter who has Down Syndrome. At first it seems as if he has written about the impossible experience, the terror of the few. Laura indeed has a harrowing start. She survives major and complex heart surgery with all the complications such a condition implies. Very potent to me was his wife's instinctive shrinking from the use of a feeding tube. In her loneliness, she felt Lauara would turn away from eating by mouth. Unhappily being right, their next challenge was to convince Laura to eat. Medical trauma hovers on the sidelines in the life of a child with this mutation. But the book rapidly becomes a story of their child. She is a child who needs to live in the world and to be seen as part of it.
First I must say that I do admire and respect the writing in this book. Estreich starts his book a bit flowery for me. This is a very personal preference. The line between prose and poetry is liminal, and he is a poet. The task for a memoir, in my opinion, is to put the spirit and the story of the heart into prose. And Estreich very quickly crosses back to form successfully. He is able to convey the tone and the struggle of his experiences accurately and empathetically. For many people living in the world of illness, the struggle is to convey the reality to those in the world of health. He himself notes that struggle for himself. He also portrays that difficult bridge in entering daily life with the wishes and the dreams for his child. He is able to write without pathos or melodrama, which is a skill I hold dear.
I would not limit my recommendation of this book to those dealing with Down Syndrome or those wishing to understand it. I also think it makes many lovely points about the child beneath any label.
First I must say that I do admire and respect the writing in this book. Estreich starts his book a bit flowery for me. This is a very personal preference. The line between prose and poetry is liminal, and he is a poet. The task for a memoir, in my opinion, is to put the spirit and the story of the heart into prose. And Estreich very quickly crosses back to form successfully. He is able to convey the tone and the struggle of his experiences accurately and empathetically. For many people living in the world of illness, the struggle is to convey the reality to those in the world of health. He himself notes that struggle for himself. He also portrays that difficult bridge in entering daily life with the wishes and the dreams for his child. He is able to write without pathos or melodrama, which is a skill I hold dear.
I would not limit my recommendation of this book to those dealing with Down Syndrome or those wishing to understand it. I also think it makes many lovely points about the child beneath any label.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
I have read numerous memoirs about having a child with Down syndrome. The Shape of the Eye is, hands down, the best one I've read. Where Jennifer Graf-Groneberg's Road Map to Holland was a lifeline to me in the days and weeks immediately following my son Finnian's birth, diagnosis of Down syndrome, and major surgery as a newborn, soothing me and assuring me that the grief I was feeling was normal and that it would pass in time, The Shape of the Eye examines that grief, without judgment.
Like so many parents of children with Down syndrome, George Estreich and his wife were shocked by their second daughter's diagnosis soon after her birth, and like so many of us, they found themselves suddenly thrust into the alien territory of raising a child who is different, who is largely, in an abstract way, seen as defective by society. His book, which he spent nearly a decade doing research for and writing, is a personal, heartfelt, often witty, account of raising a child with Down syndrome. More than that, however, it is also a historical account of what has shaped our attitudes about Down syndrome - the truths, half-truths, non-truths, contradictions, and paradoxes. This is a book not only about Down syndrome, but about family, and ethnicity, preconceived notions, and what it means to belong.
Mr. Estreich, a stay-at-home dad and a poet by profession, is an extremely gifted writer. I could not stop turning the pages and throughout the book often felt as if I could easily sit down with him over coffee and shoot the breeze about Down syndrome, about parenting, about family, about life.
Five stars. I cannot recommend this book highly enough.
Like so many parents of children with Down syndrome, George Estreich and his wife were shocked by their second daughter's diagnosis soon after her birth, and like so many of us, they found themselves suddenly thrust into the alien territory of raising a child who is different, who is largely, in an abstract way, seen as defective by society. His book, which he spent nearly a decade doing research for and writing, is a personal, heartfelt, often witty, account of raising a child with Down syndrome. More than that, however, it is also a historical account of what has shaped our attitudes about Down syndrome - the truths, half-truths, non-truths, contradictions, and paradoxes. This is a book not only about Down syndrome, but about family, and ethnicity, preconceived notions, and what it means to belong.
Mr. Estreich, a stay-at-home dad and a poet by profession, is an extremely gifted writer. I could not stop turning the pages and throughout the book often felt as if I could easily sit down with him over coffee and shoot the breeze about Down syndrome, about parenting, about family, about life.
Five stars. I cannot recommend this book highly enough.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
By L. Makman
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
This parenting memoir is moving, beautifully-crafted and extremely informative. Accessible and compelling for a range of readers--parents, teachers, occupational therapists, and scholars of disability studies alike have much to gain from this powerful work.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
BEST SPECIAL NEEDS MEMOIR!
As the mother of a child with Down syndrome and a writer myself, I heartily attest to this being one of the most eloquently written, insightful and memorable books I've read (and... Read more
Published 2 days ago by Sharon Verbeten
3.0 out of 5 stars
It's ok
The book seem to just ramble on instead of getting to the point. It's not the worst thing I've read, but there are definetly better.
Published 3 days ago by t.cook OHMYGAWD! soooooooooo addictive!
5.0 out of 5 stars
Courtesy of Mother Daughter Book Club. com
When George Estreich's second daughter was born, the doctor commented on her almond-shaped eyes and wondered if she may have Down Syndrome. Read more
Published 16 days ago by Cynthia Hudson
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Great Book!
This was a beautifully written book that allows you to see the love of a father for his daughter as well as the journey that he was on to understand and to help his daughter with... Read more
Published 20 days ago by Dad of Divas
5.0 out of 5 stars
Priceless (but is it fair?)
An editor friend called recently to tell me, "This is the best book I've read in the past year." So I immediately read it. Read more
Published 28 days ago by Brad Newsham
5.0 out of 5 stars
Reading it again and again.
This is not a Down Syndrome "how to" book. I've thoroughly enjoyed it. Discover a new facet each time i reread.
Published 4 months ago by Emma Kirkby
5.0 out of 5 stars
If you read only one book this year, make it this one
This book is a gift. A non-fiction narrative written with a poet's skill for words, Estreich brings a lot of grace and insight into his story. Read more
Published 20 months ago by Aamir Ansari
5.0 out of 5 stars
Validating our experience and offering so much more
I would like to thank George and his family for letting us into their hearts and lives, including darkest corners and most subtle joys. Read more
Published 22 months ago by Kaia's mom
5.0 out of 5 stars
smart and moving
The Shape of the Eye is an extraordinary book. It's both a wise, compelling personal memoir about Estreich's experiences raising his daughter Laura, who was born with Down... Read more
Published on May 9, 2011 by E. Katz
