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The Shy Single: A Bold Guide to Dating for the Less-than-Bold Dater Paperback – June 12, 2004

ISBN-13: 978-1579548698 ISBN-10: 1579548695

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The Shy Single: A Bold Guide to Dating for the Less-than-Bold Dater + From Shy To Social: The Shy Man's Guide to Personal & Dating Success
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 223 pages
  • Publisher: Rodale Books (June 12, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1579548695
  • ISBN-13: 978-1579548698
  • Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 0.6 x 9.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #337,723 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

". . . Jacobson's compassion, wisdom, and boldness connects to the shy reader. Singles . . . will gather courage to make new attachments." -- Myrna Weissman, Ph.D., professor of epidemiology in psychiatry and chief of the Division of Clinical and Genetic Epidemiology at Columbia University

"The Shy Single is required reading for anybody navigating the difficult terrain of meeting and dating in these challenging times." -- Linda Carter, Ph.D., director of the Family Studies Program at New York University Child Study Center

"Dr. Jacobson offers the shy single a sensitive, thoughtful, and practical approach to breaking out of the shell of shyness." -- Bonnie Maslin, Ph.D., psychologist and author of Picking Your Battles: Winning Strategies for Raising Well-Behaved Kids

"Jacobson offers clear, concise, and, most important, realistic dating advice for shy singles of all ages . . ." -- Bernardo J. Carducci, Ph.D., director of the Shyness Research Institute, professor of psychology at Indiana University Southeast, and author of The Shyness Breakthrough

"[Dr. Jacobson's] approach is eminently practical and potentially beneficial for all who struggle with shyness . . . accessible to everyone." -- Harold S. Bernard, Ph.D., president of the American Group Psychotherapy Association and clinical associate professor of psychiatry at New York University School of Medicine

About the Author

Dr. Bonnie Jacobson is a spokesperson for the American Psychological Association, an adjunct professor of applied psychology at New York University, and the director of the New York Institute for Psychological Change. In private practice for over 30 years, she has been conducting shyness workshops for singles for more than a decade. She lives in New York City with her husband.

Sandra J. Gordon is a formerly shy single who writes frequently about health for such magazines as Fitness, Woman's Day, More, Child, and Parents. She lives in Connecticut with her husband and daughters.

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Customer Reviews

3.3 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

49 of 55 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on July 12, 2004
Format: Paperback
I gave this book to a self-described "shy" good friend, who just never got out, even though he really wanted to meet someone. I was completely amazed. He's dating someone special now. I asked him if it was a coincidence. He said, no--that, in fact, THE SHY SINGLE, really helped him manage his shyness. The book gives concrete tips for managing shyness every step along the way, when you first meet someone, after you've been chatting awhile, and down the line, when you're in a real relationship. I recommend this book to anyone who is shy, and can't get a date. My friend is completely changed. It took him about three months to put the tips into practice, but it paid off. The woman he met is great, and I can tell that he's really happy.
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32 of 38 people found the following review helpful By J.D. Worth on December 29, 2004
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I'll preface this with a short bio: I am average/handsome, 5 foot 11 inches, 35 years old, not overweight...and have been 'alone' for well over 3 to 5 years now. A classic "Shy Guy."

This is a great book for those of us "Shys" needing a step by step plan to come out of the shell. I just finished the book, and the insights and suggestions made by the author are realistic and do-able. This is not a book you read once then suddenly your cured. Sorry people, no such thing. It is going to take work. Just don't give up, and don't do this half-heartedly, effort will be rewarded.

I know that I'll be re-reading, leafing through, and referencing different parts of this book as I use this and other aides to overcome my shyness. I'll be writing recommendations on other self help books that have been added to my library, and added to my goal of overcoming shyness, in the near future. (Written 12/2004)
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on May 10, 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is written in a fairly light style, with helpful lists and checklists and templates. The insights are substaniated by anecdote and studies, with emphasis on informal and some formal case studies from the author's clients. Most of the advice is for people who are EXTREMELY shy. And I mean extremely. There are some universal advice steps here and there, especially about dating, but a lot centers on just summoning courage for any kind of social endeavor. One chapter I liked followed the routines and strategies of successful daters instead of the shy specific advice for overcoming fear and self-punishment and being overly critical and the like.

Overall it was adequate, but I found the writing style to be a little bland.
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful By Bree T on May 12, 2006
Format: Paperback
I found this book really helpful for personalizing my dating strategies. I wanted to put myself out there without feeling vulnerable or awkward and this book helped me develop some strategies that feel doable. I now go out two to three times and week and if anything, I'm no longer sitting in my apartment, waiting for the world to come to me. It's empowering.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Matthew on October 21, 2007
Format: Paperback
A lot of the advice in this book falls into the practice makes perfect category; it would work if you dated a lot of people and therefore had lots of opportunities to put it into practice, but if I had that many dates lined up I probably wouldn't need the book as the experience itself would solve the shyness, there are some good tips and advice here though so if you are shy it might be worth a read, but if you only date a girl once every couple of years forget it.

On a personal note I did manage to find a girlfriend shortly after reading this book, in retrospect the techniques were not needed... lets just say (in my opinion) being in the right situation to meet someone and develop a connection with them (mabye through common interests like religion, reading and firearms for example) whilst being yourself is more important than developing social skills, unfortunately for shys like me those sorts of opportunities dont come along very often.
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