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The Singlehood Phenomenon: 10 Brutally Honest Reasons People Aren't Getting Married Paperback – September 11, 2006


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The Singlehood Phenomenon: 10 Brutally Honest Reasons People Aren't Getting Married + Becoming a Family that Heals: How to Resolve Past Issues and Free Your Future (Focus on the Family) + Soul-Healing Love
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: NavPress (September 11, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1576838846
  • ISBN-13: 978-1576838846
  • Product Dimensions: 5.4 x 8.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #984,228 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

Headline: Find your soul mate If you're single and wanting to be married, you probably know all about the sordid stats about marriage. You understand the inherent challenges of marriage. And despite some skepticism, deep down you still believe in marriage¬¬-if only you could find the right person! The Singlehood Phenomenon is full of hope for singles who have yet to give up on marriage. Drs. Beverly and Tom Rodgers address the top ten reasons singles aren't getting married and show how societal trends such as co-habitation, rampant divorce, and the fear of getting hurt make finding a soul mate that much more difficult. Difficult, but not impossible! The institution of marriage may be under assault, but that doesn't mean you can't make it work. This book enables you to deal with your skepticism about dating, love and marriage and overcome the reasons you stay single. Learn how to integrate psychological principles and Biblical truths to develop healthy, godly love relationships.

About the Author

Dr. Beverly Rodgers and Dr. Tom Rodgers own and operate Rodgers Christian Counseling where they have been treating clients for the past twenty-six years. Together they have coauthored three books: Soul Healing Love, How to Find Mr. or Ms. Right, and Adult Children of Divorced Parents. Their website is www.soulhealinglove.com.

More About the Author

Drs. Tom and Beverly Rodgers have Ph.D.s in clinical Christian counseling and have operated Rodgers Christian Counseling in Charlotte, North Carolina, for the past 28 years. Fifteen years ago they established the Institute for Soul Healing Love, a training facility for pastors, interns, counselors, mentors, and lay leaders. In addition to her Ph.D., Beverly also holds a master's degree in marital and family therapy from Northern Illinois University and is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Tom has master's degrees from Azusa Pacific University and the University of North Carolina and is a licensed professional counselor. They have written four books, including The Singlehood Phenomenon and Soul-Healing Love: Turning Relationships that Hurt into Relationships that Heal.

Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 26 people found the following review helpful By Erik Olson VINE VOICE on October 28, 2006
Format: Paperback
It appears that a new wave of Christian books targeting singles is coming on the market. "The Singlehood Phenomenon" is one for older singles who are still unmarried for a variety of dysfunctional reasons. As a Christian singleton that recently turned forty, I certainly fit the demographic. I'm always up for a book that will 1) help me be a better candidate for marriage, or 2) enable me to be more content as a single. This one helps with the first point, but falls short on the second.

Tom and Beverly Rodgers have been Christian relationship counselors for twenty-six years. They have identified "ten brutally honest reasons people aren't getting married," and have created "The Soul Healing Love Model" to help correct these barriers to matrimony. This is done by confronting and healing wounds, often from childhood, that prevent healthy relationships. Their goal is for everyone who desires a spouse to deal with their hang-ups so they can meet a "soul mate" and get married.

The overarching theme of "The Singlehood Phenomenon" is that we must conquer our relational issues in Christ before a healthy dating relationship (not to mention marriage) is feasible. Each obstacle to finding one's soul mate gets its own chapter, such as "Wanting the Perfect Mate," "Fear of Getting Hurt," and "Concern That the Marriage Will Fail." To provide context, the authors use an example of someone who demonstrates the issue and is working it out through the Soul Healing Love Model. I found myself identifying with many of the protagonists, since at one time or another I've wrestled with many of their issues (and still do, more or less). Overall, I enjoyed "The Singlehood Phenomenon.
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42 of 54 people found the following review helpful By Bella DePaulo on December 31, 2006
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I became curious about this book because, according to Amazon, people who buy my book on singles, SINGLED OUT, often buy this book as well. The two books could hardly be more different.

Although Rodgers and Rodgers say on p. 9 that they do not think there is anything wrong with being single, everything else in the book suggests quite the opposite. You can judge this book by the cover. Look at it: Yellow crime scene tape with words like "cynicism" and "perfectionism" is wrapped around their topic, "The Singlehood Phenomenon." Look at the subtitle: "10 Brutally Honest Reasons People Aren't Getting Married." Authors Rodgers and Rodgers know why you are single - there's something wrong with you. This is a singles-bashing book.

In contrast, SINGLED OUT shows, using social science data, that most of the claims that stereotype and stigmatize people are grossly exaggerated or just plain wrong. The Rodgers book accepts the stereotypes at face value. For example, the Rodgers book claims that single men "want to stay little boys who play with their toys" (p. 86). People who stay single, the Rodgers book maintains, will "grow old alone" (p. 162). Rodgers and Rodgers also believe that the effects of divorce on children are "profound, if not traumatic" (p. 82). The authors claim that single people are loners who are also self-centered (p. 84).

There are 89 million American adults who are unmarried. Of course, SINGLED OUT acknowledges, some of them really are immature or selfish, and some children of divorced parents really are traumatized. But most are not. SINGLED OUT also shows, drawing from social science data, that people who get married do not generally become happier, less selfish, or more giving than they were when they were single.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Anthony Centore Ph.D. on February 4, 2008
Format: Paperback
A brief read, The Singlehood Phenomenon suggests 10 reasons why attractive and seemingly available Americans are single (31% of the US population was unmarried in 2004. That's up from 10%, in 1970). To illustrate the 10 reasons, the text is peppered with vignettes of unmarried persons with various problem issues.

Sally the Fitness Instructor scares away men.

Don the Pastor attracts needy women.

Rachel the twice-Divorcee is a people pleaser.

These stock characters add life to the authors' points, but fall short of portraying the complex personalities and compelling stories of real people. Another weakness of the work is that the content overall is somewhat dulled, having been mostly borrowed from general counseling knowledge and popular self-help books of the past. Incorporating more applicable research findings would have made for more compelling arguments.

Nonetheless, this book has merit in that it reviews a fresh issue in an otherwise saturated market of relationship self-help. And, while most self-help prescribes a behavioral 1-2-3, seasoned therapists Beverly and Tom Rodgers guide the reader to overcome problem issues, past pains, and unhelpful interpersonal patterns in new ways. For one, they beseech the reader to look inward--to unpack his or her emotional baggage before sabotaging another relationship.

Persons interested in the topic of singleness should buy the book. It is worth reading and the authors include a money-back guarantee: If you're not satisfied you can tear out the title page and mail it to NavPress for a full refund.
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