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Cheryl Strayed's most recent books include the best-selling memoir Wild, which was Oprah Winfrey’s first selection for Oprah's Book Club 2.0; the advice essay collection Tiny Beautiful Things; and her debut novel Torch. Raised in Minnesota, Strayed now lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband, the filmmaker Brian Lindstrom, and their two children.
Cheryl Strayed: Why did you want to write this book?
Emily Rapp: I wrote this book out of necessity; I would say I didn't want to write it, but that I had to write it. I was compelled, in a way I've never been before, to try and make sense of the chaos of my life in the wake of my son's terminal diagnosis. I wanted to write it as a way of kicking back against grief, that great leveler, and I felt an urgency to wrangle with the deepest issues of human life--What is luck? Where do we go when we die?--because I was being faced with them in a real-time, intensely dramatic way.
Cheryl Strayed: What was it like to write this book, at the same time Ronan was slipping away from you?
Emily Rapp: It was terrible, and it was beautiful. On the one hand, I was tracking his decline; on the other hand, I felt swollen and bright with love. It might sound silly, but a broken heart is an open one, and I was definitely broken. But I was working, and this gave me purpose, and the more I learned from Ronan’s presence--his innocence and beauty--the more I wanted to write about what this parenting journey had taught me not just about being a mother, but about being a human being.
Cheryl Strayed: Who were the writers who served as touchstones during this process?
Emily Rapp: Mary Shelley, Louise Gluck, Sylvia Plath, Simone Weil, Carson McCullers, old Akkadian myths like the Epic of Gilgamesh, and especially the work of C. S. Lewis.
Cheryl Strayed: What did you learn that surprised you, about the process of grieving for Ronan?
Emily Rapp: That grief can be electrifying, shot through with moments of deep presence and a feeling of being in the moment, which alternatively creates a feeling of elation, of true happiness. I was surprised that I could laugh, and love, and be, and also grieve through all of that. It taught me the fundamental truth of death-in-life that we all try to avoid but eventually cannot.
Cheryl Strayed: What do you most want readers to take away from the experience of reading this book?
Emily Rapp: I want readers to rethink their notions of tragedy and normalcy. I want them to find beauty in our human fragility, in the precariousness of all our lives, and I want this to act as a catalyst for them to live and love more boldly in their own lives. To make their lives big and rich and full and meaningful, however that might look for them.
Photo Emily Rapp ©Anne Staveley
Photo Cheryl Strayed ©Joni Kabana
Couldn't put it down, read over half the book in one day.
And even though she wouldn't want to hear it, I still can't say how sorry I am for her pain and that I wish things had been different for Ronan and Emily.
Her visions will help all readers understand how facing death will prepare one to live life to the fullest.
Very well written and beyond moving;not morbid. I can't think of any other book that has evoked tears. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Ruthann Z. Cohn
Not an effective narrative, more stream of consciousness that lacks enough context for those outside this experience to follow to the level we might wish.Published 2 months ago by L Taylor
A brilliant read. Beautifully written on an incredibly sensitive and sad situation.Published 3 months ago by docmandy
This book is full of powerful emotions but it's just not my cup of tea. It very philosophical and religious. Read morePublished 4 months ago by 224perweek
I found this book difficult to read. The somber subject mixed with the author's musings on life and death and the human condition made it feel at times plodding and loosely... Read morePublished 4 months ago by Three Apples
I pondered whether or not to read this because my son has a similar illness with the same life expectancy. I'm glad I did. Read morePublished 6 months ago by hlstate
Every paragraph is philosophy
I have a child with a rare disease
Have always felt out of step
Thanks for reminding me I'm not alone
You're an amazing writer
I was looking for more of an upfront: this is my life, how I cope and my story. Instead I found lots of metaphors and other narrative mumbo. Read morePublished 6 months ago by me
Not many books are written by the perspective of those who have lost a child. Especially those who die of a genetic disorder. Read morePublished 6 months ago by karin henry